Hello,
my mum was diagnosed with mild vascular/alcohol-related dementia about two years ago, after a heart attack and triple bypass surgery. this manifested itself mainly in being more forgetful than usual and having problems reasoning. she also became more prone to falls than before (we are told this is due to a combination of reasons, including poor hearing and only having sight in one eye). she is now nearly 70 but has the physical problems of someone much older, and not surprisingly she has suffered from quite a lot of depression.
in fact my mum has been depressed for a long time, much longer than these problems, and one way for her to cope, apart from anti-depressants (which now seem to have been banned as her sodium level has come down), has been to drink alcohol, mainly wine. this has been going on for about 30 years, and has been relatively under control at times, as well as being well out of control at others. we have tried everything to help her stop, and she has at times stopped, but in the last couple of years we have left her to her own devices, having decided that it is ultimately her decision. in the meantime we have worried like crazy and spent countless hours discussing whether or not to intervene. of course this has had an impact on her and all her children and grandchildren. she lives alone, with a carer to get her up in the morning and a live-in afternoon carer who is wonderfully calm and tolerant.
more recently she has had two spells in hospital and has not been drinking for that time (except the week in-between). her dementia seems to have progressed (she even had hallucinations, and constantly talks about being on a boat/train/still being married, climbing out of hospital windows, etc.), but in this last week in hospital she has improved quite a lot, but not returned to the way she was in march. the psychologist rang me to say she wants to go home, and what do we think?
well, having seen how she was a few weeks ago i decided with my brothers and sisters that she needed residential care (the doctors told us as much) and we've been looking into that. but now that she seems a bit more 'normal' we feel confused. the problem is that even if we got her 24 hour care at home we feel the alcohol issue is going to get in the way. her current carer has said 'she cannot drink anymore if she goes home', which i take to mean she would leave if she did drink (and i would too if i were in her shoes!). she would be at great risk to herself and possibly others, and the responsibility for someone to 'police' her would be awful. and we tend to think that she would definitely associate home with alcohol and not take no for an answer. maybe naively we are thinking she would think about it less in a care home (our basis for this is partly that when she has been to a day centre 3 times a week she doesn't drink during those hours; she tends to drink more out of boredom than anything else).
does anyone have any experience of dealing with alcoholics who have dementia? or what care homes do about this issue? i'd really appreciate any advice anyone has, as i'm sure we can't be the only ones who have been through it.
thanks! peppa
my mum was diagnosed with mild vascular/alcohol-related dementia about two years ago, after a heart attack and triple bypass surgery. this manifested itself mainly in being more forgetful than usual and having problems reasoning. she also became more prone to falls than before (we are told this is due to a combination of reasons, including poor hearing and only having sight in one eye). she is now nearly 70 but has the physical problems of someone much older, and not surprisingly she has suffered from quite a lot of depression.
in fact my mum has been depressed for a long time, much longer than these problems, and one way for her to cope, apart from anti-depressants (which now seem to have been banned as her sodium level has come down), has been to drink alcohol, mainly wine. this has been going on for about 30 years, and has been relatively under control at times, as well as being well out of control at others. we have tried everything to help her stop, and she has at times stopped, but in the last couple of years we have left her to her own devices, having decided that it is ultimately her decision. in the meantime we have worried like crazy and spent countless hours discussing whether or not to intervene. of course this has had an impact on her and all her children and grandchildren. she lives alone, with a carer to get her up in the morning and a live-in afternoon carer who is wonderfully calm and tolerant.
more recently she has had two spells in hospital and has not been drinking for that time (except the week in-between). her dementia seems to have progressed (she even had hallucinations, and constantly talks about being on a boat/train/still being married, climbing out of hospital windows, etc.), but in this last week in hospital she has improved quite a lot, but not returned to the way she was in march. the psychologist rang me to say she wants to go home, and what do we think?
well, having seen how she was a few weeks ago i decided with my brothers and sisters that she needed residential care (the doctors told us as much) and we've been looking into that. but now that she seems a bit more 'normal' we feel confused. the problem is that even if we got her 24 hour care at home we feel the alcohol issue is going to get in the way. her current carer has said 'she cannot drink anymore if she goes home', which i take to mean she would leave if she did drink (and i would too if i were in her shoes!). she would be at great risk to herself and possibly others, and the responsibility for someone to 'police' her would be awful. and we tend to think that she would definitely associate home with alcohol and not take no for an answer. maybe naively we are thinking she would think about it less in a care home (our basis for this is partly that when she has been to a day centre 3 times a week she doesn't drink during those hours; she tends to drink more out of boredom than anything else).
does anyone have any experience of dealing with alcoholics who have dementia? or what care homes do about this issue? i'd really appreciate any advice anyone has, as i'm sure we can't be the only ones who have been through it.
thanks! peppa