My life has had to adjust to being alone. I don’t have a choice. I go to see Bridget every other day and try to build into my week things to do that get me through without to much heartache.
I guess the reason we’re not really responding to each other on our Forum as much is that there is little to say. I’ve been posting on here since 2017 and been through all the emotions save one, the last one, when Bridget dies. That’s going to be the test of my resilience. Will this lasting loneliness prepare me - who knows. Every day throws up a feeling of guilt and loss and every time I visit I feel the pain of separation.
All I know is that everyone I’ve talked to here probably feels equally that our grief is just about managed, that we lurch from one emotion to another. C S Lewis described his grief after losing his wife as something he carried around, visible to others so they avoided him and he felt he and fellow sufferers might be locked away, like in a colony, away from infecting others.
I sometimes feel that infection and the avoidance and awkward when in company. People just don’t know what to do or say or what they do say is totally inappropriate. Would I be any different? Not sure.
I guess the reason we’re not really responding to each other on our Forum as much is that there is little to say. I’ve been posting on here since 2017 and been through all the emotions save one, the last one, when Bridget dies. That’s going to be the test of my resilience. Will this lasting loneliness prepare me - who knows. Every day throws up a feeling of guilt and loss and every time I visit I feel the pain of separation.
All I know is that everyone I’ve talked to here probably feels equally that our grief is just about managed, that we lurch from one emotion to another. C S Lewis described his grief after losing his wife as something he carried around, visible to others so they avoided him and he felt he and fellow sufferers might be locked away, like in a colony, away from infecting others.
I sometimes feel that infection and the avoidance and awkward when in company. People just don’t know what to do or say or what they do say is totally inappropriate. Would I be any different? Not sure.