It’s 09.30am and I’ve just spoken to the home. Bridget isn’t down yet as she’s having her personal care.
I asked if Bridget misses me and they advise that she only really lives in the moment and, although she said “I love you” yesterday, she probably doesn’t share that depth of feeling I’m feeling. But, they added, you never know what the brain does so I’m left confused once more.
I’m going in to visit today and again tomorrow but I realise that by doing so I can’t change anything; for Bridget it’s one day at a time, probably moment to moment, but for me I have years of memories, a grieving present and a future longing for someone I can’t have.
I can’t think of any other condition that even comes close to dementia for tying us all into knots and messing with our emotions. How much cleaner it is (however much grief it brings) that people die quickly or, at least, are dying and fully sharing their love for one another. So much more straightforward.
Peter
I asked if Bridget misses me and they advise that she only really lives in the moment and, although she said “I love you” yesterday, she probably doesn’t share that depth of feeling I’m feeling. But, they added, you never know what the brain does so I’m left confused once more.
I’m going in to visit today and again tomorrow but I realise that by doing so I can’t change anything; for Bridget it’s one day at a time, probably moment to moment, but for me I have years of memories, a grieving present and a future longing for someone I can’t have.
I can’t think of any other condition that even comes close to dementia for tying us all into knots and messing with our emotions. How much cleaner it is (however much grief it brings) that people die quickly or, at least, are dying and fully sharing their love for one another. So much more straightforward.
Peter