We had live in carers for a while , his family wanted us to try it out but it didn't work it just confused him all the more and when I went away to visit my sick Brother he really went off the rails. Every time I visit him, emotionally I want to abduct him and bring him home but reason tells me his needs are too high to be met by me alone. It is a long, long road to acceptance . I think Dutchman there is no doubt about your devotion to your wife but from what you've said you couldn't have carried on, people say that to me but it is so hard to accept. My support worker has recommended instead of fighting my grief I should accept it as part of me and immerse myself in it, it does somehow seem to help.