Dear all
I just want to write this down to get it out of my system. Not looking for comments or advice, just hoping writing this will help me to deal with the events of the past two months.
I care for my father with Alzheimers and a number of other conditions.
Recently he had a bad fall, fractured his spine and was hospitalised for seven weeks. Both his physical and cognitive abilities have taken a significant hit. Whilst in hospital we dealt with anger, delerium, some aggression towards staff and many other behaviours that I am sure many here will be familiar with. I visited him whilst looking after his pets. My sister also travelled from France to help.
Once he was discharged from hospital, we had a whole new set of challenges. Dealing with things like catheter bags and a changed medication regime, turning the house upsidedown to be suitable for him (and his later anger about this). The useless care package from the hospital discharge. My sister dealt with this with some help from me. Daddy needed constant support and fell regularly. My sister took time from work as I did and we both became paranoid sleep deprived zombies trying to keep my father safe.
Neither my sister or I live with my father, I doubt he would want us to.
We eventually made the decision to get a live-in carer. We are lucky to be able to do this. She arrived and was/is much better than the previous arrangement. However, Daddy is now angry that we have bought someone into his house that he does not know and things are still difficult. I can see his point of view, but he is a very high accident risk and my sister and I needed to get back to work.
I am now wondering how long before any of this may ever settle down and I don't have a panic attack each time the phone rings. I am letting the carer work with him, in the hope that they can build a relationship. I dread that this will not work. He has always said he would never go into a care home. His animals are his life, and he couldn't take them with him.
The stress and frustration is enormous. I know you all understand. Just when you think things might be OK, they get a bit worse.
Not looking for answers, just trying to rationalise an increasingly irrational situation. Dementia is truly the cruellest disease.
I just want to write this down to get it out of my system. Not looking for comments or advice, just hoping writing this will help me to deal with the events of the past two months.
I care for my father with Alzheimers and a number of other conditions.
Recently he had a bad fall, fractured his spine and was hospitalised for seven weeks. Both his physical and cognitive abilities have taken a significant hit. Whilst in hospital we dealt with anger, delerium, some aggression towards staff and many other behaviours that I am sure many here will be familiar with. I visited him whilst looking after his pets. My sister also travelled from France to help.
Once he was discharged from hospital, we had a whole new set of challenges. Dealing with things like catheter bags and a changed medication regime, turning the house upsidedown to be suitable for him (and his later anger about this). The useless care package from the hospital discharge. My sister dealt with this with some help from me. Daddy needed constant support and fell regularly. My sister took time from work as I did and we both became paranoid sleep deprived zombies trying to keep my father safe.
Neither my sister or I live with my father, I doubt he would want us to.
We eventually made the decision to get a live-in carer. We are lucky to be able to do this. She arrived and was/is much better than the previous arrangement. However, Daddy is now angry that we have bought someone into his house that he does not know and things are still difficult. I can see his point of view, but he is a very high accident risk and my sister and I needed to get back to work.
I am now wondering how long before any of this may ever settle down and I don't have a panic attack each time the phone rings. I am letting the carer work with him, in the hope that they can build a relationship. I dread that this will not work. He has always said he would never go into a care home. His animals are his life, and he couldn't take them with him.
The stress and frustration is enormous. I know you all understand. Just when you think things might be OK, they get a bit worse.
Not looking for answers, just trying to rationalise an increasingly irrational situation. Dementia is truly the cruellest disease.