Dealing with aggression

Discussion in 'Welcome and how to use Talking Point' started by StChris, Oct 12, 2018.

  1. StChris

    StChris New member

    Oct 12, 2018
    I just wondered what advice I can give my mum who is caring for my dad. Dad is in early Middle stages of Alzheimer’s and was diagnosed about 6 months ago. Mum is finding it really hard to cope with his constant silly comments and his aggression (this is very out of character for him). He can be verbally very abusive and has threatened to use physical violence too. I feel like my mum is really struggling to cope with him and don’t know what to say to her.
  2. kindred

    kindred Registered User

    Apr 8, 2018
    Welcome, and it is good to hear from you. This is a tough stage for your mum to deal with. Do you feel he is likely to use violence? It would be sensible to keep a note of these things, and are social services involved at all? I think with the abuse and threats of violence they ought to be. It would be really wise to talk to your mum about getting help and care in for your dad so that she is not in the front line all the time. Is your GP helpful? Please don't either of you struggle alone. Make it a joint venture to get some help.
    with warmest wishes, keep talking to us, Kindred.
  3. StChris

    StChris New member

    Oct 12, 2018
    Thank you for your reply. The GP told my mum to ‘just laugh it off’ which obviously isn’t at all helpful. How would I go about getting some support from social services?
  4. Bunpoots

    Bunpoots Registered User

    Apr 1, 2016
    #4 Bunpoots, Oct 12, 2018
    Last edited: Oct 12, 2018
    What a clueless GP! Threats of violence and aggression should always be taken seriously!

    With regard to social services you would need to phone the local council and ask for a care assessment for your dad and a carer's assessment for your mum. Make them aware of the aggression and threats and tell them that you are worried for your mum's safety (even if you're not yet). SS have a "duty of care" for "vulnerable adults" - Using these words makes them sit up and take notice.

    If your dad is being seen by the memory clinic it would be worth letting them know about his new behaviour.

    There is a thread on Talking point about "compassionate communication" which might be helpful to your mum when dealing with the silly comments and aggression.

    Keep posting on here. There's usually someone who will have experienced most behaviours and can come up with helpful suggestions for dealing with them.
  5. marionq

    marionq Registered User

    Apr 24, 2013
    It should be possible to report and recommend GPs for re-education on dementia matters after statements like this. Do they never read newspapers? Serious injury can occur when appropriate steps are not taken re meds or care with aggressive people.
  6. nae sporran

    nae sporran Volunteer Host

    Oct 29, 2014
    Welcome to TP, StChris. I can't really add anything other than to say how worrying it must be for your mum and frightening for your dad. As Bunpoots says you should definitely get on to Social Care and use the "vulnerable Adult" and "duty of care to your parent" buzzwords which they have to react to.

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