Hello David.

Does your wife realize she will be mixing with older people at the day cantre?

Would it be possible for her to feel she will be helping out?

 

Hi David

it can be difficult, but try not to pre-judge. sometimes things can work out, but best to be prepared either way.

My Jan [originally from Neath] tried a day centre [in Hampshire]when she was your wife's age.

Sylvia speaks wisely, try the 'helping the older folks' line if you need to. It worked briefly for Jan - 1 visit actually - but each person is different from any other, so it may work longer for your wife.

In the place we tried, there was a load of older people - mostly women. They were in their late 70s and 80s. Jan wondered what the heck was going on. She wasn't into throwing fluffy balls around. The first visit I stayed the whole time with her, hoping she might settle. On the other 2 visits I sneaked out while the staff diverted her attention, and spent the duration unable to do anything at all, just fretting about her and feeling guilty.

After 3 visits we were banned anyway because Jan, being a young onset person, was so mad at being stuffed in with so many old people that she simply ran amok.

We also tried the local Alzheimer's Society centre. That also was okay as long as I sat alongside her and held her hand all of the time. Which was not quite the idea.

Your wife is very positive and that is good. Just treat it all as if it is perfectly normal, and judge the situation as it happens. It might work well for you - I certainly hope so.

 

HI David, my husband is only 59 and was very anxious about going to the day centre because it is part of Help The Aged group,but it was throughly explained to us that nowhere else was available,we went for a visit and the staff were fantastic with my husband, at first he would stay in the [quiet room] but on his second week there he began to mix more and he has made some new friends,although he has only been there a short time i feel more at ease with myself now as i know he is safe and very well looked after,again i think we are lucky with our centre but it must be hard for some people to adjust,have you a cpn who could talk things over with you.I wish you all the very best.Dedicated Doe.

 

Hello davidw, i hope you do not mind me earwigging this one, as i am trying to get Susan into a day care centre. I am not trying very hard tho desperately would like (need) more help. She is also 59, and I am concerned that she will not get-on, but I sometimes feel that "more going on" and attention will occupy Susan better and may stimulate her mind. She does not have the ability to do anything, difficultly to sit down, feed herself, will struggle with a drink (needs a straw & help) but how are these places regarding toilet ? Susan is sometimes ok but needs help and instruction everytime and I'm not sure how she will accept another person instructing her, being present.
cris

 

Dear David,

I`m sure it`s well worth having to go to Tesco and do the ironing to have a happy and beaming wife at the end of the day.
It`s such good news.

Love xx

 

I'm really pleased that it went so well for your wife
Jackie

 

thanks David for posting that reply / outcome and a good one as well. As I said earlier I am trying to get Susan into a day centre, and I am very worried that if we suceed how she will be.
cris

 

Dear cris,

Why don`t you approach the day centre directly and tell them your concerns. Hope fully they will be able to reassure you.

Love xx

 

Hi David, Sylvia.
The local Alz Soc is advising, and our GP is writing this letter of referal that is needed. Soc Services have contacted me, so it seems things are in hand. What & when the out-come happens we will see.
cris

 

Thank you David

I often wonder where people go, or what has happened, when they stop posting.
I`m sorry your wife deteriorated so rapidly but very pleased you were able to find such a good NH.
Younger people with dementia are so neglected, there `s hardly any good provision for them, so your post is almost refreshing.
Take care xx

 

day centre's

David my husband did'nt like it,but after the first few times
he made friends and is very happy there,it gives me a rest and i can cope better when he comes home.
they are great with him.
i do hope your wife settles down at the centre for you.

aceblytons

 

With Early Onset No Use At All,its Just A Get Out!!

Hello, I Will Keep My Caps On As Anyone With A Mental Illness.. Needs 121 All The Time,until They Are Acostommed To Anywhere Never Mind All The New Faces That They Have To Put There Already Familirised With There Surrundinds Never Mind The New !! Faces,so Day Centres For Mental Illness Is Just Really A Get Out,and Should Never Be Used For Anyone Thats In That Position

 

My Wifes Hell!! In Day Centers

As My Wife Was Diagnosed At An Early Age Of Just 54,the Local Social Work Dept..recommended For Her To Go To A Day Center,me Knowing My Wifes Personality Knew From The Outset That She Would Not!! Like That,and Within An Hour Of Her Going,we Had A Call Saying That She Could Not Settle,and Could We Come And Pick Her Up...

Day Centres Have A Place.. But Not Anyone Who Has A Mental Illness

 

I'm very sorry it didn't work out for your wife - it's not for everyone: I know Bruce's wife Jan went once and refused to go again. I think it's particularly difficult for early onset since inevitably, most people will be older. Some people have had success with the concept of going to help the older people but that won't work for everyone. However, I don't think you can make global statements about everyone. I also don't like to see AD referred to as a mental disease but that's probably a personal bete noire.

 

Admittedly day care places are few and far between for younger people with dementia, and will never suit all, but in Lionel's case they worked and it was a blessing.

The day care centre used to try to keep just one day a week for their younger users, but as his needs for more care grew he was accommodated with others much older. Whilst he did not have mobility enough to physically help other, he could help in other ways.He attended for two years, building up to 4 days a week.

No, not for everyone, but certainly a life line for me and stimulation for him.

Not in our case.

 

Ron attended a day centre last week for the first time

Just an observation.
The people who were there, were happy. The staff from what I could see, were kind.
It did not suit Ron. But, it does suit and helps others.

BarbXX