Snowedunder
Registered User
Hi
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day-care for men
- Thread starter Snowedunder
- Start date
Key word "once", most of our kin are the same highly intelligent people who now function at a different level. The common factor is acceptance is it you who feel he needs different care or is he angry because he can't follow anymore? It can be upsetting but nuclear physicists can get this condition or politicians like Ronald Regan, Terry Pratchett etc all suffer or suffered at different levels at different times and its surely the great leveller.
My mum used to ride, play bridge now she's happy with bingo and a bit of company. Sad for me but I accept her life is not as it was even 5 years ago as her condition deteriorates. Your husband might still be able to play cards or do puzzles why not take some in and play a game with him. Around here we are lucky to get a day centre place of any kind so it might be best to consider if he did not have one at all.
My mum used to ride, play bridge now she's happy with bingo and a bit of company. Sad for me but I accept her life is not as it was even 5 years ago as her condition deteriorates. Your husband might still be able to play cards or do puzzles why not take some in and play a game with him. Around here we are lucky to get a day centre place of any kind so it might be best to consider if he did not have one at all.
jeany123
Registered User
Could you contact your local alzheimers society and see if there is anything suitable , i suppose it depends on what kind of things he wants to do,as most day centres have to cater for the majority, What about a bowling club is there one in your area and you could go as well,
My husband was only 63 when he first started to go to a day centre and everyone else was much older he was a very intelligent man and has had to learn to fit in with them,he refused to join in anything at first but he now joins in rather than sitting bored,
What about finding someone who could take your husband out or do something that he wants to do in your home it is expensive but seems to be the only alternative,
I hope you find something suitable ,
Jeany
My husband was only 63 when he first started to go to a day centre and everyone else was much older he was a very intelligent man and has had to learn to fit in with them,he refused to join in anything at first but he now joins in rather than sitting bored,
What about finding someone who could take your husband out or do something that he wants to do in your home it is expensive but seems to be the only alternative,
I hope you find something suitable ,
Jeany
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jaymor
Registered User
Unfortunately or should I say fortunately everything available is geared to how the suffer is now and what they can achieve now not what they achieved before dementia. Putting something before a sufferer that is no longer within their grasp is not what is best for them, it will lead to frustration, agitation and heaven knows what else.
It is hard to accept that our loved ones have lost so much but lost it they have and we have to make the most of what we have now.
Take care Jay
It is hard to accept that our loved ones have lost so much but lost it they have and we have to make the most of what we have now.
Take care Jay
My husband goes to a Day Centre but does not enjoy it at all.
One of his complaints is that they make you sit next to someone and then expect you to talk to them!!!
He is not a joiner of anything except seated exercises, but they rarely have these.
My husband goes to a Day Centre to give me a break, he does not go because it is stimulating for him.
I now have 3 afternoons of a companion/walker for him, as he enjoys a short walk, but he would prefer that they sat and read a book the rest of the time and leave him be. They find this impossible and chatter away to him, but these 3 times 2 hours are necessary to me, I go swimming, play canasta and go to counselling during these 3 periods.
Day Centres are enjoyed by some and accepted by some and barely tolerated by some.
Jeannette
One of his complaints is that they make you sit next to someone and then expect you to talk to them!!!
He is not a joiner of anything except seated exercises, but they rarely have these.
My husband goes to a Day Centre to give me a break, he does not go because it is stimulating for him.
I now have 3 afternoons of a companion/walker for him, as he enjoys a short walk, but he would prefer that they sat and read a book the rest of the time and leave him be. They find this impossible and chatter away to him, but these 3 times 2 hours are necessary to me, I go swimming, play canasta and go to counselling during these 3 periods.
Day Centres are enjoyed by some and accepted by some and barely tolerated by some.
Jeannette
stanleypj
Registered User
I'm sorry to say it, but day centres are not suitable for everyone. You told us in your first post that your husband 'can do very little'. When you say that he resents the activities it may just be, as others have suggested, that he cannot do what is required to participate. Several people have mentioned things he might be able to do but it sounds doubtful judging by your description.
If the main purpose is to give you some respite - and this is certainly extremely important - you should probably follow the alternatives that Jeannette and Jeany have mentioned. That's what I do, and the Disability Living Allowance pays for care worker visits.
If the main purpose is to give you some respite - and this is certainly extremely important - you should probably follow the alternatives that Jeannette and Jeany have mentioned. That's what I do, and the Disability Living Allowance pays for care worker visits.
