Tonight had paramedics out to mom for second time this week, fell twice early this week and second time paramedics saw her, then again tonight. Now apparently she has a broken rib, complicated by almost zero mobility, incontinence (lay in bed last two days and just wet it), stress incontinence and overflow diarrhoea, and host of heart/arthritis/chest problems -cough would rattle your bones, she caught cold/flu that dad has currently. She is terribly depressed.
So it's dad who has dementia (not mom) and he is primary carer for mom, he has awful chest infection, had out of hours GP out to him Tuesday and paramedic assessed and treated him again tonight while seeing mom. He is at wits end, mom won't co operate, misses/hides pills, won't eat or have fortisips. They have daytime carer five days, night time for mom seven night.
Moms always been his rock, but now he has a recent dementia diagnosis, lost licence, needs support and she won't even take pills and eat and she drinks a bit too much (according to him) which he's had to cope with. If he has company, someone to talk to, he is lucid and sociable mostly and this valuable window of time for him is being lost/diminished by mom being as she is, ok ok, some of it she can't help but no one asks more than eat, drink, take pills?
Isn't it all so sad, no way to go. We try to promote change to care provision and housing, but it is often falling on deaf ears, we encourage dad to think about better housing (walk in shower, more activity etc) but mom talks him out of it after a day or two despite him being enthusiastic about extra care housing. Twelve months ago I would never have dreamed it would come to this, and how hard it is to deal with two people with differing needs (plus yours, your families, your employers!).
Dad was always the hard one to deal with but now I feel so sorry for him, he has fought diagnosis but now licence and his trusting GP has gone he needs mom more than ever and she's not there. She is frail, but of she could just take pills and eat, it would take such a weight off! Poor Dad, poor Mom.
So it's dad who has dementia (not mom) and he is primary carer for mom, he has awful chest infection, had out of hours GP out to him Tuesday and paramedic assessed and treated him again tonight while seeing mom. He is at wits end, mom won't co operate, misses/hides pills, won't eat or have fortisips. They have daytime carer five days, night time for mom seven night.
Moms always been his rock, but now he has a recent dementia diagnosis, lost licence, needs support and she won't even take pills and eat and she drinks a bit too much (according to him) which he's had to cope with. If he has company, someone to talk to, he is lucid and sociable mostly and this valuable window of time for him is being lost/diminished by mom being as she is, ok ok, some of it she can't help but no one asks more than eat, drink, take pills?
Isn't it all so sad, no way to go. We try to promote change to care provision and housing, but it is often falling on deaf ears, we encourage dad to think about better housing (walk in shower, more activity etc) but mom talks him out of it after a day or two despite him being enthusiastic about extra care housing. Twelve months ago I would never have dreamed it would come to this, and how hard it is to deal with two people with differing needs (plus yours, your families, your employers!).
Dad was always the hard one to deal with but now I feel so sorry for him, he has fought diagnosis but now licence and his trusting GP has gone he needs mom more than ever and she's not there. She is frail, but of she could just take pills and eat, it would take such a weight off! Poor Dad, poor Mom.