Dad will not get tested for dementia

[rodo]

My mom has been telling us the past few years that dad (really our step-dad) has Alzheimers. It wasnt until our last visit that we started seeing small signs of forgetfulness and confusion. So I would say it is in the mild stage. Mom says its worse than that and I don't live in her home so she would know right?
The more I speak with my mom, the more I hear things like she deserves to be happy and doesn't deserve to be home with him all day and that he isn't the same man and she doesn't deserve to not be happy...all about her. She wants to do what she wants and doesn't want to care for him.

My sister and I have suggested to move closer to us so that we could help. My sister lives about 3 hours away and I am a 10 hour drive.

I told her that she needs to have the doctor check him so that we could start the process of getting some help in the home for her and him. But now they don't want to say anything to the doctor with a fear that they may take his licesnse away.

Venting.....

 

[northumbrian_k]

Hi @rodo and welcome to Dementia Support Forum our friendly and supportive community. While his behaviours might suggest that your step dad has some form of dementia, one can't say for certain without a diagnosis. That starts with getting him to see a doctor, preferably after informing the doctor of signs and symptoms. If your mom wants an easier and happier life she may need to acknowledge the need for professional support from carers. If dementia is diagnosed this will have many implications, the most important of which is getting the right support and care for your step dad. At some point he may need to surrender his driving licence but that's a side issue compared to getting a diagnosis and a proper care plan to meet his needs.

I hope that this helps.