Hi This is the first time I have posted. My dad has vascular dementia, dx October, big decline in memory over the last few weeks, has carers. I struggle emotionally watching my once strong, clever dad, deteriorate in front of me. I live a distance away and am an only child. Today has been very difficult, dad couldn't understand why I wasn't coming home to sleep tomight. I haven't lived at home for nearly 40 years. Dad also had to ask at one point who he was talking to, I told dad my name and then he remembered who I was. I am going in the morning to see him with photos from Christmas Day, hopefully these photos will jog his memory of the wonderful time he had with family last week. One photo is of me and dad, and I have added a simple message, love you dad xxxx. I so wish I coyld wave a magic wand and dad would be better, but I know that is impossible. Our aim as a family is to make dad as happy, safe as possible, and that he also knows how much we love him. Sorry if this is not the type of post allowed in the forum, but just by writing down my feelings, it has helped me, deal with my feeling of hopelessness with the situation, my dad and our family find ourselves in.
Dad thinking I still live at home
- Thread starter tar
- Start date
Of course it`s the type of post allowed on the Forum @tar. It`s exactly what the forum is for.
As dementia develops, sadly the confusion increases and it`s a big shock when people with dementia are not sure who we are or where we live. This may be permanent or your dad may be fine tomorrow and all you can do is keep reassuring him.
I hope you will get some strength from the support you will receive here. We all know how you are feeling right now.
As dementia develops, sadly the confusion increases and it`s a big shock when people with dementia are not sure who we are or where we live. This may be permanent or your dad may be fine tomorrow and all you can do is keep reassuring him.
I hope you will get some strength from the support you will receive here. We all know how you are feeling right now.
hello @tar
a warm welcome to TP
and rest assured, your post is exactly why TP is here, so you can share whatever is on your mind with folk who recognise your situation, will sympathise and share their experience with you
it's tough when a much loved parent become confused over who they are talking with - it sounds as though your dad may be slipping back into earlier times when you both were much younger, so he expects you to be his little one - maybe give him a reason that he would have accepted then eg staying over with a friend and thank him for allowing you so his emotion is a positive one
a warm welcome to TP
and rest assured, your post is exactly why TP is here, so you can share whatever is on your mind with folk who recognise your situation, will sympathise and share their experience with you
it's tough when a much loved parent become confused over who they are talking with - it sounds as though your dad may be slipping back into earlier times when you both were much younger, so he expects you to be his little one - maybe give him a reason that he would have accepted then eg staying over with a friend and thank him for allowing you so his emotion is a positive one
Thank you, I explained where I was staying tonight to dad. I will reassure him in the morning where I stayed tonight and that I was safe, and that I love and miss him too. As you say it is all about making my dad feel positive about things.
Thank you for your reply, yes I have got strength from the forum tonight. What I find hard is explaining to hubby, family and friends how I am feeling. I am trying to put my feelings into words on here, than bottle them up. I am very aware that I have to be on top form and look after myself, so I can care for my dad. I will be no use to my dad it I don't look after myself.
