Dad losing his banks card and then searching for hours

[Duras28]

Hi my dad was recently diagnosed with dementia although symptoms have been building for some time. He suffers from extreme anxiety and at the moment the most difficult thing is losing things, mainly his money or bank card He will then make my Mum search for hours although on more than one occasion she has ended up cancelling the card only for it to turn up somewhere bizarre. Unfortunately he is so anxious that she can't just say don't worry it will turn up- it's always in the house somewhere.

Would she be better off not getting involved in the search at all? Would anything ease the anxiety for him? She can't go out and let him get on with it as his anxiety becomes extreme if left alone.

We are all coming to grips with the whole situation and desperately trying to find ways to help.

Thanks for your help on this site, it's so supportive.

 

[pippop1]

Safe?

Have a small safe installed and Mum can (try to) ensure that money and card is kept there when in the home.

Chose one with a digital lock (numbers) rather than a key and she can change the code in the future, should things become more difficult.

A locksmith's shop will have a range of them.

 

[Trisha4]

Would it work to have a special box in which he puts everything precious and can always go to. Works for done but nothing works for everyone. Hope you find something to help the anxiety which is stressful for everyone.

 

[Rosie56]

Could she keep an old, cancelled one to show to him when he gets anxious, and then offer to 'mind it' for him? Thus buying a bit of time until the real thing turns up.

My mum has developed an obsessive habit of searching her bag and purse for her pension card and her bus pass (the bus pass is never used any more, but I had to renew it for her because she got so agitated about it expiring). Sometimes she won't come out of the house and into the car because she has to stop, go back in and rummage in the bag, over and over. The cards are in a wallet and I finally developed a strategy of holding the wallet under her nose as we left the house and keeping it there until she was in her seat belt. I then gave it back and she immediately resumed checking, but at least we'd managed to start the journey. I wonder if a variant of this might help your mum.

 

[Grannie G]

My husband was always searching for his wallet and keys and I just had to help him otherwise they would never have been found and his agitation would have increased.

I hope some of the suggestions work.