So Crisis Team lady came out today to see how dad was doing on Risperidone to have a chat with him generally and also approach dad with the idea of Respite Care. Sister was with dad and emailed me tonight to inform me of what was said. Sister didn't request I go to dads home as well plus I was having a washing machine delivered as my machine broke last week.
Sister emailed that the lady chatted to dad quite a bit he said his mum and dad had visited so she asked him where they had stayed he said at his house and sister had made them tea obviously none of this was true as they have been gone many, many years. Dad is talking about his mum and dad a lot just lately saying he wants to live with them told me tonight he was going to go to the shop as he wanted a post card to write to them but he wasn't sure which way the shop was. I said I would find him a card and take it to him tomorrow and I would post it on my way home telling him its not safe to go to the shop because of the virus. Dad has some understanding of its existence but says he's not worried about it. This afternoon he told me his GP had called him a couple of days ago and said he was going to have a heart attack so to live his life now as he wanted said GP said a heart attack was imminent but of course the GP has not rang dad.
Dad was asked if he knew what respite meant he apparently said yes but when explained to him fully using the term respite in a CH he said no he didn't want to go for a break as he liked his own home. Sister said the lady felt that as dad didn't want respite and that he came across as quite sociable and she felt he was of a mind that he could decide himself that he can't actually be forced into going into respite. It was even suggested it would also give his daughters a little holiday too to which dad still said no to as he didn't want to go anywhere.
We don't have a Health and Welfare POA but sister said even if we did she didn't feel she could force dad into respite either if he clearly doesn't want to go. Apparently it was suggested that we could get some brochures for a couple of CH and perhaps browse through them with dad but quite honestly I don't think he would want to even look through them and more than likely get angry.
Sister says she asked lady if dads Care Company could no longer offer dad care where do we go from here and her answer was repeated 'That as dad does understand what Respite Care and CH were then they couldn't force him' and on top of that he is saying he wants to remain in his own home.
Care Company said three weeks ago they don't feel they can continue with dads care they had contacted ASC and told them this.
My sister and I are both going in twice a day now as dad has 4 x care visits this is when the carers go in because they are finding dad so difficult to cope with. Care Company have requested we do this assuming this was until dad had some respite care and hopefully a permanent CH place. The carers can't always give him the care he needs because he gets so abusive. Dad is often refusing catheter draining. pad changes and quite often refusal of his lunch a WF meal that they heat up in microwave.
Its now been suggested by this lady from The Crisis Team that perhaps an adaption can be made to dads bathroom to aid carers with his personnel care and he could have a chair to sit on as dad has refused a bath or shower for over 3 years. Personally I think its ridiculous I can't see him suddenly letting a carer in his own home shower or bath him.
Another idea she has come out with is that they could possibly offer some temporary support to dads carers perhaps on his morning call but this would literally be just 2 or 3 visits and they could offer his carers some guidance as to how to approach his care. Sister thinks some of dads current carers would not be happy as would actually rather not do the personal care checks because of the verbal abuse that dad would give them.
Sister says the Care Company actually rang her later in the day and she told them what had been said during this visit apparently the Care Company have never heard of the suggestion that their carers be supported in this manner before.
Care Company reiterated to sister dads aggression towards his carers and that is why they can't continue to offer their care services to dad.
ASC suggestion last week that carers double up had been rejected as they didn't feel it would help.
Sister said to Care Company that she felt she could defuse what could be a refusal of his care or aggressive outbursts and that her being there same time as carer had been of benefit to dads carers but she also thought that dad would benefit from less mixed carers going in and be better if dad had more of the same carers.
Sister is making the assumption they might look into antidepressants for dad as she feels dad is also depressed although he said no he wasn't to the lady. Sister wasn't sure they could put dad on antidepressants without his permission but I don't believe he was asked or told about being put on a antipsychotic drug Risperidone.
The lady said she will be in touch with ASC and dads Care Company soon so sister believes they will be back in contact with her in a couple of days.
I haven't replied to sisters email tonight as she goes to bed around 10pm and I have been to dads for his bedtime carer call at 9pm plus I need to digest everything.
The one thing neither my sister or this lady from Crisis Team don't seem to have factored in is me my thoughts and what support I can continue to offer.
I thought I had made it abundantly clear to everyone that I would go in temporarily to help with carer support so that sister did not have to go to dads 4 x daily but this was because everyone including sister had said this was for around 2-3 weeks until Respite Care had been arranged. I honestly thought when dad had Respite Care dad would be found a permanent residential place as they would see how much care he really needs.
I guess I know now what my sister is thinking it seems she wants to continue with things as they are for as long as possible she had said earlier this week that if dad came home from Respite Care the agreement between her and I to go in twice a day each to support carers would have to continue until dad was given a permanent placement in a CH . I just cannot do this my partner needs me I am his carer because of his Parkinson's and advancing age 77 years.
To me it seems utterly ridiculous that a Care Company want to withdraw their services to dad because they cannot provide him with the care he needs and all Crisis Team want to do is accept he can stay in his home because he says he wants to and shove a new or adapted bathroom in.
I told my sister in an email on Tuesday before this lady from the Crisis Team came that if we continue to agree to go into dad to support the carers its possible nothing further will be done.
It looks like sister is set to carry on but she clearly won't cope for long without my support 4 visits a day is too much even for her and she lives a short walk from dad. I can't keep going over to dads like this for long its already putting me under enormous pressure and I know before long I will be mentally unwell as I was last year when Partner's Parkinson's got worse and going to dad every day started to become too much. I was distraught at times trying to cope I just don't know how sister does it but I know I can't and it makes me feel I'm failing my dad.
My only hope is that someone else will look at this lady's report take dads care needs into account and the Care Company's view that they cannot provide care for dad any longer.
I'm not aware that the Care Company have given ASC any notice of when they will cease going into dad or even if they can when nothing much else is in place.
The highlight of my day was I managed to disconnect my old washing machine this morning all by myself and put the new one in its place and connect it. Fingers crossed tomorrow it doesn't leak when I turn its water supply on for its first wash.
Sister emailed that the lady chatted to dad quite a bit he said his mum and dad had visited so she asked him where they had stayed he said at his house and sister had made them tea obviously none of this was true as they have been gone many, many years. Dad is talking about his mum and dad a lot just lately saying he wants to live with them told me tonight he was going to go to the shop as he wanted a post card to write to them but he wasn't sure which way the shop was. I said I would find him a card and take it to him tomorrow and I would post it on my way home telling him its not safe to go to the shop because of the virus. Dad has some understanding of its existence but says he's not worried about it. This afternoon he told me his GP had called him a couple of days ago and said he was going to have a heart attack so to live his life now as he wanted said GP said a heart attack was imminent but of course the GP has not rang dad.
Dad was asked if he knew what respite meant he apparently said yes but when explained to him fully using the term respite in a CH he said no he didn't want to go for a break as he liked his own home. Sister said the lady felt that as dad didn't want respite and that he came across as quite sociable and she felt he was of a mind that he could decide himself that he can't actually be forced into going into respite. It was even suggested it would also give his daughters a little holiday too to which dad still said no to as he didn't want to go anywhere.
We don't have a Health and Welfare POA but sister said even if we did she didn't feel she could force dad into respite either if he clearly doesn't want to go. Apparently it was suggested that we could get some brochures for a couple of CH and perhaps browse through them with dad but quite honestly I don't think he would want to even look through them and more than likely get angry.
Sister says she asked lady if dads Care Company could no longer offer dad care where do we go from here and her answer was repeated 'That as dad does understand what Respite Care and CH were then they couldn't force him' and on top of that he is saying he wants to remain in his own home.
Care Company said three weeks ago they don't feel they can continue with dads care they had contacted ASC and told them this.
My sister and I are both going in twice a day now as dad has 4 x care visits this is when the carers go in because they are finding dad so difficult to cope with. Care Company have requested we do this assuming this was until dad had some respite care and hopefully a permanent CH place. The carers can't always give him the care he needs because he gets so abusive. Dad is often refusing catheter draining. pad changes and quite often refusal of his lunch a WF meal that they heat up in microwave.
Its now been suggested by this lady from The Crisis Team that perhaps an adaption can be made to dads bathroom to aid carers with his personnel care and he could have a chair to sit on as dad has refused a bath or shower for over 3 years. Personally I think its ridiculous I can't see him suddenly letting a carer in his own home shower or bath him.
Another idea she has come out with is that they could possibly offer some temporary support to dads carers perhaps on his morning call but this would literally be just 2 or 3 visits and they could offer his carers some guidance as to how to approach his care. Sister thinks some of dads current carers would not be happy as would actually rather not do the personal care checks because of the verbal abuse that dad would give them.
Sister says the Care Company actually rang her later in the day and she told them what had been said during this visit apparently the Care Company have never heard of the suggestion that their carers be supported in this manner before.
Care Company reiterated to sister dads aggression towards his carers and that is why they can't continue to offer their care services to dad.
ASC suggestion last week that carers double up had been rejected as they didn't feel it would help.
Sister said to Care Company that she felt she could defuse what could be a refusal of his care or aggressive outbursts and that her being there same time as carer had been of benefit to dads carers but she also thought that dad would benefit from less mixed carers going in and be better if dad had more of the same carers.
Sister is making the assumption they might look into antidepressants for dad as she feels dad is also depressed although he said no he wasn't to the lady. Sister wasn't sure they could put dad on antidepressants without his permission but I don't believe he was asked or told about being put on a antipsychotic drug Risperidone.
The lady said she will be in touch with ASC and dads Care Company soon so sister believes they will be back in contact with her in a couple of days.
I haven't replied to sisters email tonight as she goes to bed around 10pm and I have been to dads for his bedtime carer call at 9pm plus I need to digest everything.
The one thing neither my sister or this lady from Crisis Team don't seem to have factored in is me my thoughts and what support I can continue to offer.
I thought I had made it abundantly clear to everyone that I would go in temporarily to help with carer support so that sister did not have to go to dads 4 x daily but this was because everyone including sister had said this was for around 2-3 weeks until Respite Care had been arranged. I honestly thought when dad had Respite Care dad would be found a permanent residential place as they would see how much care he really needs.
I guess I know now what my sister is thinking it seems she wants to continue with things as they are for as long as possible she had said earlier this week that if dad came home from Respite Care the agreement between her and I to go in twice a day each to support carers would have to continue until dad was given a permanent placement in a CH . I just cannot do this my partner needs me I am his carer because of his Parkinson's and advancing age 77 years.
To me it seems utterly ridiculous that a Care Company want to withdraw their services to dad because they cannot provide him with the care he needs and all Crisis Team want to do is accept he can stay in his home because he says he wants to and shove a new or adapted bathroom in.
I told my sister in an email on Tuesday before this lady from the Crisis Team came that if we continue to agree to go into dad to support the carers its possible nothing further will be done.
It looks like sister is set to carry on but she clearly won't cope for long without my support 4 visits a day is too much even for her and she lives a short walk from dad. I can't keep going over to dads like this for long its already putting me under enormous pressure and I know before long I will be mentally unwell as I was last year when Partner's Parkinson's got worse and going to dad every day started to become too much. I was distraught at times trying to cope I just don't know how sister does it but I know I can't and it makes me feel I'm failing my dad.
My only hope is that someone else will look at this lady's report take dads care needs into account and the Care Company's view that they cannot provide care for dad any longer.
I'm not aware that the Care Company have given ASC any notice of when they will cease going into dad or even if they can when nothing much else is in place.
The highlight of my day was I managed to disconnect my old washing machine this morning all by myself and put the new one in its place and connect it. Fingers crossed tomorrow it doesn't leak when I turn its water supply on for its first wash.
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