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dad an alzeimers trying to settle in care home


Registered User
Oct 16, 2015
My dad is now in a care home he has alzeimers an challenging behaviour he crcrys a lot an ask to come home has odd good days its so upsetting wen he wants to come home makes us all feel guilty any advice on this would b most helpfull


Registered User
Nov 28, 2005
It is hard when someone you love is appealing in this way.

My husband was the same and I repeatedly told him that he was in a convalescent home and would be back as soon as he was strong enough. That settled him for a while although this happened daily. Eventually he thought the care home was 'our house' and I could pretend I had been in the kitchen, hanging out washing, shopping or whatever. This was because he reached the stage where he had no concept re time and even if I had been away all night he was unaware. There was some relief in this but at the same time tremendous sadness that he had reached that stage.

Its a tough time for you but I hope you find the forum helpful.
Best wishes


Registered User
Oct 8, 2009
Herefordshire UK
Hi Bailie

I understand how distressing this is for you and your Dad. My Mum has been in a lovely care home now for three years, but she hasn't settled, sometimes she is fine but quite often she wants to go home. When I visited yesterday she kept on asking me to take her back with me, but then she wanted to go back to her old home in Manchester. She has been like this for 7 years ever since I brought her here to live with us.

It's very difficult and it can get easier when (and if) they begin to settle. It's probably early days yet for you all.



Registered User
Aug 30, 2013
Took 3 months for my father to start to settle, but 4 years on he's fine.