dad an alzeimers trying to settle in care home

Discussion in 'I care for a person with dementia' started by bailie, Nov 18, 2015.

  1. bailie

    bailie Registered User

    Oct 16, 2015
    5
    My dad is now in a care home he has alzeimers an challenging behaviour he crcrys a lot an ask to come home has odd good days its so upsetting wen he wants to come home makes us all feel guilty any advice on this would b most helpfull
     
  2. BeckyJan

    BeckyJan Registered User

    Nov 28, 2005
    18,972
    Derbyshire
    It is hard when someone you love is appealing in this way.

    My husband was the same and I repeatedly told him that he was in a convalescent home and would be back as soon as he was strong enough. That settled him for a while although this happened daily. Eventually he thought the care home was 'our house' and I could pretend I had been in the kitchen, hanging out washing, shopping or whatever. This was because he reached the stage where he had no concept re time and even if I had been away all night he was unaware. There was some relief in this but at the same time tremendous sadness that he had reached that stage.

    Its a tough time for you but I hope you find the forum helpful.
    Best wishes
     
  3. PollyP.

    PollyP. Registered User

    Oct 8, 2009
    327
    Herefordshire UK
    Hi Bailie

    I understand how distressing this is for you and your Dad. My Mum has been in a lovely care home now for three years, but she hasn't settled, sometimes she is fine but quite often she wants to go home. When I visited yesterday she kept on asking me to take her back with me, but then she wanted to go back to her old home in Manchester. She has been like this for 7 years ever since I brought her here to live with us.

    It's very difficult and it can get easier when (and if) they begin to settle. It's probably early days yet for you all.

    ((HUGS))
    Pauline
     
  4. Bod

    Bod Registered User

    Aug 30, 2013
    1,111
    Took 3 months for my father to start to settle, but 4 years on he's fine.

    Bod
     

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