My mum has had a sudden down turn since December when she was treated with antibiotics for a UTI. Her resistance to help with personal care made it very hard to get her to take them and to accept toileting help so the care home staff struggled - a lot of shouting, swearing, biting and lashing out! She wasn’t eating well either so lost weight and became unsteady on her feet so had to use a wheelchair, which caused even more stress and anxiety.
After several visits by the GP, district nurse and paramedics, mum was admitted to hospital on 4th Jan to have IV fluids. She also had a couple of stage 1 pressure sores on her heels, caused we think from kicking the foot rest when carers tried to put her feet on them to move the chair. Mum was in for six days, against our will really as she was very aggressive on the ward and it was obvious from what the nurses were saying that they could not cope with her, we were not allowed to visit. She was heavily sedated for most of the time, kept in bed and is now incontinent. They actually told my brother that mum was refusing to eat or drink because she was at end of life.
Unfortunately, after three days back at the care home, she tested positive for Covid, along with several other residents and staff so the home went into lockdown. Even though I have ECG status, I could no longer visit as mum was deemed to have Covid, luckily with no apparent symptoms. There were still problems with mum eating and drinking enough, it was taking the staff a long time to persuade her to eat or drink, she refused to allow them to help her which made it hard. She then had more antibiotics for another UTI and possible oral thrush - not that she would let anyone look in her mouth without trying to bite them! I had a long conversation with the doctor about future treatment plans and we agreed that she would not go to hospital for any aggressive treatment ( already got a DNA in place) and when the time came, end of life meds would be administered at the care home - but the doctor did not believe that Mum was end of life yet, she just needs to eat and drink more!
Yesterday, the Manager called the district nurse out to look at a new sore on her thigh and to assess if she was in pain as she was slumped in her chair at times. The nurse said she could feel some fluid around the hip joint which could be an indication of a fracture so an ambulance was called and I met it at A&E. To but this very long saga short, Mum does not have a fracture but was dehydrated ( not a surprise) so back on a drip and she was also some given paracetamol through the drip as well. I kept saying she was not to be admitted, the care homes were happy to have her back but my wishes were totally ignored, the consultant seemed to ignore the reason for her being taken to hospital and just wanted to blame the care home for poor care! Luckily the care home did a full body map after she returned last time which shows that she had more sores on discharge than when she went in.
Eventually, after 11 hours, I had to concede that admittance to a ward was necessary to get her fluids up adequately. By this time, Mum had not been given any thing to drink and as she’d been asleep for ages with her mouth open, her mouth was dry, her tongue furry and teeth were black, she looked awful. I did manage to get some water but she was not able to drink it then and they did not have any mouth swaps or other means to wet her lips and tongue. It had taken me six hours to get them to change her pad by which time she needed totally changing, ( nightie, sheets and blanket), it was only after she was moved from the triage area to a different part of the ED that I managed to find a helpful nurse.
So, after ignoring me again when I pointed out that it was pointless to do a PCR test ( not recommended within 90 days of having Covid as there are still traces of the virus in the body) Mum went to a ward and I went home. Today, my brother found that she is on a Covid ward as her test came back positive! She is on a drip for fluids and also antibiotics for a UTI - which was news to us! She has to wait until Monday at the earliest to be assessed by the Tissue Viability Nurse due to all the sores.
Apologies, I’ve realised that this has ended up in a rant about the hospital! I started the thread to get your advice about how we can get her to drink enough when she goes back to the care home to avoid this negative cycle of dehydration, IV fluids in hospital, not drinking, dehydration again etc etc. The home have already tried different things to tempt her and do spend a lot of time with her but she needs more 1 to 1 care for constant reminders, she was able to reach out to pick up a glass when I visited on Wednesday as she drank half a glass of lucosade that I’d taken. We’re having a meeting with the senior staff early next week to get the care plan updated so I want to have some ideas what we might be looking at. I’ve thought of ice chips, mouth swabs, thickened drinks, sippy cups and “ wet” food. They have already tried the new jelly type sweets that dissolve, a straw, yogurt, ice lollies and a few other things but mum rejected them vigorously. My sister wants us to apply for CHC funding for 1 to 1 care. Is there any thing else we can do?
I appreciate that at 89 years old, it is possible that Mum is at end of life but only a few weeks ago she was walking around, going to the toilet with just a bit of support, eating and looking reasonably well. Now she is frail, in a wheelchair, incontinent, gaunt, has sunken eyes, cracked lips, skin sores and her teeth are disgusting. She must be in pain and uncomfortable. I just want to get her to take fluids orally to avoid another hospital visit. Or to allow her peace and support to die at her care home.
Gosh, if you have read all this, you are really kind but I’m so upset and dread this situation repeating over again. My siblings are all in agreement fortunately but I don’t want to unburden myself on them.
Thank you
After several visits by the GP, district nurse and paramedics, mum was admitted to hospital on 4th Jan to have IV fluids. She also had a couple of stage 1 pressure sores on her heels, caused we think from kicking the foot rest when carers tried to put her feet on them to move the chair. Mum was in for six days, against our will really as she was very aggressive on the ward and it was obvious from what the nurses were saying that they could not cope with her, we were not allowed to visit. She was heavily sedated for most of the time, kept in bed and is now incontinent. They actually told my brother that mum was refusing to eat or drink because she was at end of life.
Unfortunately, after three days back at the care home, she tested positive for Covid, along with several other residents and staff so the home went into lockdown. Even though I have ECG status, I could no longer visit as mum was deemed to have Covid, luckily with no apparent symptoms. There were still problems with mum eating and drinking enough, it was taking the staff a long time to persuade her to eat or drink, she refused to allow them to help her which made it hard. She then had more antibiotics for another UTI and possible oral thrush - not that she would let anyone look in her mouth without trying to bite them! I had a long conversation with the doctor about future treatment plans and we agreed that she would not go to hospital for any aggressive treatment ( already got a DNA in place) and when the time came, end of life meds would be administered at the care home - but the doctor did not believe that Mum was end of life yet, she just needs to eat and drink more!
Yesterday, the Manager called the district nurse out to look at a new sore on her thigh and to assess if she was in pain as she was slumped in her chair at times. The nurse said she could feel some fluid around the hip joint which could be an indication of a fracture so an ambulance was called and I met it at A&E. To but this very long saga short, Mum does not have a fracture but was dehydrated ( not a surprise) so back on a drip and she was also some given paracetamol through the drip as well. I kept saying she was not to be admitted, the care homes were happy to have her back but my wishes were totally ignored, the consultant seemed to ignore the reason for her being taken to hospital and just wanted to blame the care home for poor care! Luckily the care home did a full body map after she returned last time which shows that she had more sores on discharge than when she went in.
Eventually, after 11 hours, I had to concede that admittance to a ward was necessary to get her fluids up adequately. By this time, Mum had not been given any thing to drink and as she’d been asleep for ages with her mouth open, her mouth was dry, her tongue furry and teeth were black, she looked awful. I did manage to get some water but she was not able to drink it then and they did not have any mouth swaps or other means to wet her lips and tongue. It had taken me six hours to get them to change her pad by which time she needed totally changing, ( nightie, sheets and blanket), it was only after she was moved from the triage area to a different part of the ED that I managed to find a helpful nurse.
So, after ignoring me again when I pointed out that it was pointless to do a PCR test ( not recommended within 90 days of having Covid as there are still traces of the virus in the body) Mum went to a ward and I went home. Today, my brother found that she is on a Covid ward as her test came back positive! She is on a drip for fluids and also antibiotics for a UTI - which was news to us! She has to wait until Monday at the earliest to be assessed by the Tissue Viability Nurse due to all the sores.
Apologies, I’ve realised that this has ended up in a rant about the hospital! I started the thread to get your advice about how we can get her to drink enough when she goes back to the care home to avoid this negative cycle of dehydration, IV fluids in hospital, not drinking, dehydration again etc etc. The home have already tried different things to tempt her and do spend a lot of time with her but she needs more 1 to 1 care for constant reminders, she was able to reach out to pick up a glass when I visited on Wednesday as she drank half a glass of lucosade that I’d taken. We’re having a meeting with the senior staff early next week to get the care plan updated so I want to have some ideas what we might be looking at. I’ve thought of ice chips, mouth swabs, thickened drinks, sippy cups and “ wet” food. They have already tried the new jelly type sweets that dissolve, a straw, yogurt, ice lollies and a few other things but mum rejected them vigorously. My sister wants us to apply for CHC funding for 1 to 1 care. Is there any thing else we can do?
I appreciate that at 89 years old, it is possible that Mum is at end of life but only a few weeks ago she was walking around, going to the toilet with just a bit of support, eating and looking reasonably well. Now she is frail, in a wheelchair, incontinent, gaunt, has sunken eyes, cracked lips, skin sores and her teeth are disgusting. She must be in pain and uncomfortable. I just want to get her to take fluids orally to avoid another hospital visit. Or to allow her peace and support to die at her care home.
Gosh, if you have read all this, you are really kind but I’m so upset and dread this situation repeating over again. My siblings are all in agreement fortunately but I don’t want to unburden myself on them.
Thank you
Last edited:
