Good evening all,
I am new here and thought to share what brought me and to ask you for advice.
My dad in law passed away unexpectedly 8 months ago and I got to spend more time with my mom in law (69 y.o.) as she moved in with us for a couple of months after his death. She is back home now and we are in touch daily and try to visit her more often (we live in a different country).
My dad in law was a good man but had a difficult character, insisting to arrange and manage all in his household, and I've always known my mom in law as a woman comfortable with being dependant on her husband and having all taken care of by him. Therefore, I viewed her behaviour (before his death and in the first months after) as a result of those family dynamics and of course sorrow and general confusion about her life after loosing her pillar-partner.
However, with time passing and me getting to know her better, I started noticing a pattern - she is more and more obsessed with things - collecting unneeded items, hiding and storing them like a squirrel, often forgetting she has them; constantly panicking about random things such as weather changes; loosing her balance; changing moods; not willing to go out of the house on her own; calling her son 5 times in a row (even though she knows he cannot take calls during the day) for very trivial reasons, sometimes saying she could not remember calling him that many times. She often says she has panic attacks and falls on the street, not being able to explain why she felt/panicked, etc. Then she has days and weeks being sort of fine (balance issues still present, as well as constant conversations about her not feeling well).
Frankly speaking, I did think that, in a way, she wanted to keep our attention and have her son (only child) provide the daily care she was used to receiveing from her husband, therefore exaggerated her problems. But I do not see a change in her behaviour, even after we did all we could to make her feel supported and taken care of. Today we found out that she went out shopping near her home and blocked in the middle of the street when crossing, panicked and could not move further and was helped by strangers to come to senses and get home.
Her mother, my husband's grandmother, had Alzheimer's. I didn't get to meet her, as I met my husband years after her death, but know that her last years were a challenge for the entire family and it all started with her simply being weird and not managing well daily chores.
Could the reason for my mom in law's behaviour be an early stage of Alzheimer's? What is a gentle way to suggest an assessment? She would freak out if I am direct, and I also wouldn't want to stress my husband, he has already been through a lot this year.
Thank you so much for any comment/thought you share with me.
I am new here and thought to share what brought me and to ask you for advice.
My dad in law passed away unexpectedly 8 months ago and I got to spend more time with my mom in law (69 y.o.) as she moved in with us for a couple of months after his death. She is back home now and we are in touch daily and try to visit her more often (we live in a different country).
My dad in law was a good man but had a difficult character, insisting to arrange and manage all in his household, and I've always known my mom in law as a woman comfortable with being dependant on her husband and having all taken care of by him. Therefore, I viewed her behaviour (before his death and in the first months after) as a result of those family dynamics and of course sorrow and general confusion about her life after loosing her pillar-partner.
However, with time passing and me getting to know her better, I started noticing a pattern - she is more and more obsessed with things - collecting unneeded items, hiding and storing them like a squirrel, often forgetting she has them; constantly panicking about random things such as weather changes; loosing her balance; changing moods; not willing to go out of the house on her own; calling her son 5 times in a row (even though she knows he cannot take calls during the day) for very trivial reasons, sometimes saying she could not remember calling him that many times. She often says she has panic attacks and falls on the street, not being able to explain why she felt/panicked, etc. Then she has days and weeks being sort of fine (balance issues still present, as well as constant conversations about her not feeling well).
Frankly speaking, I did think that, in a way, she wanted to keep our attention and have her son (only child) provide the daily care she was used to receiveing from her husband, therefore exaggerated her problems. But I do not see a change in her behaviour, even after we did all we could to make her feel supported and taken care of. Today we found out that she went out shopping near her home and blocked in the middle of the street when crossing, panicked and could not move further and was helped by strangers to come to senses and get home.
Her mother, my husband's grandmother, had Alzheimer's. I didn't get to meet her, as I met my husband years after her death, but know that her last years were a challenge for the entire family and it all started with her simply being weird and not managing well daily chores.
Could the reason for my mom in law's behaviour be an early stage of Alzheimer's? What is a gentle way to suggest an assessment? She would freak out if I am direct, and I also wouldn't want to stress my husband, he has already been through a lot this year.
Thank you so much for any comment/thought you share with me.
