Continued communications challenge

[River.7]

Both mum and dad are in same care home, seperate rooms. Dad is settled, forgetful, but probably medication for alzeimers and depressiin has meant hes mostly cheerful and helpful. Since hes settled I take him out.
Mum seems worse on each visit. (Now diagnosed alzeimers, waiting to see if any meds help) today, non stop begging take me home, I put you through uni, im your mummy, take me home. All I can say to that is I cant care for you...here theres so many carers etc. I cant get her to talk of anything else and no distractions eg tv work. She is obsessed with pooing. (Day before some of same but but more conversing, but principally negative and complaining about absolutely everything and everybody....food..sheets...clothes...trees...noises...floor...carers are foreign....carers smile....etc today after 20 mins of her begging i thought go out for a break and she grabbed me dragging herself with me. I had to hold her or shed fall. I thought shed break my little finger! Eventually got her back in room, and really i ran away 10mins later and spent day with dad. How do I deal with the same next time. Brother said same, and hes terrified of visiting.

 

[Sarasa]

Welcome to Dementia Talking Point from me @River.7.
Have you spoken to the care home about how your mum is when you and your brother aren't there? She might be quite settled, but seeing you sets her off on wanting to be elsewhere. My mum could tell me she was quite happy in the care home and that she wanted me to take her home in the same sentence.
Although it might sound counterproductive, maybe not visit her for a while, unless you can't avoid doing so if you are visiting your dad.

 

[River.7]

Welcome to Dementia Talking Point from me @River.7.
Have you spoken to the care home about how your mum is when you and your brother aren't there? She might be quite settled, but seeing you sets her off on wanting to be elsewhere. My mum could tell me she was quite happy in the care home and that she wanted me to take her home in the same sentence.
Although it might sound counterproductive, maybe not visit her for a while, unless you can't avoid doing so if you are visiting your dad.

Thank you, its possible you are right, one nurse and carer thought she was more settled, which surprised me. She does seem to be rude to staff and other visitors too. One carer said she wanted a hug and tgey sat watching tv. Yesterday she seemed to want a hug, but when I started she pushed me away. Most things I do cause an opposite reaction. Eg if she says put my watch on, and I help, she then says no I dont want it, take it off ...a few seconds later.
Ill ask staff if they think Im helping. Dad enjoys visits.