Hi my mum has vascular dementia and talks consistently which drives me mad especially when it's about "nothing" and always says I can't do it". Does this sound familiar to any one and if so what have u tried apart from distraction which doesn't work here.
Constant talking
- Thread starter susanh13
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Constant talking can be so wearing, can't it? Is a response really required or can you just smile and nod a lot? Sometimes a person simply needs to be listened to. If you can keep doing whatever you're doing and say "Oh yes", "really", "I didn't know that" and other filler statements, do you think that would help? I apologize if you've already tried that route.
Endless patience is what we need.
Endless patience is what we need.
If only someone could actually bottle up patience and sell it. They would be onto a winner. I for one would buy it.
Everyday I feel my patience level getting lower and lower. What does help me(a little) is having a little distance. Perhaps a good nights sleep or a laugh. I don't live with my mother but visit her everyday and am on the phone constantly.
I am sure that what every you do do it is only you that feel you are not doing it right.
Everyday I feel my patience level getting lower and lower. What does help me(a little) is having a little distance. Perhaps a good nights sleep or a laugh. I don't live with my mother but visit her everyday and am on the phone constantly.
I am sure that what every you do do it is only you that feel you are not doing it right.
Sometimes I want to scream or run away, so you have my greatest sympathy. Don't know if there are any solutions, but I've found I can tune out quite well now. A glass of good wine helps if you're not driving!
I haven't found any solutions either, my husband can talk for England nonstop for hours and it is usually a load of rubbish the only thing that stops him for2 minutes is if I give him something to eat, I try to switch off as he doesn't want answers I just say a few, is it, was it, are you, oh dear, I will sort it, but nothing stops him he has been in from day centre since 4 and has not shut up yet,
You have my sympathy it drives me round the bend,
Forgot to say if he doesn't talk he whistles or sings he is never quiet he even talks in his sleep,
You have my sympathy it drives me round the bend,
Forgot to say if he doesn't talk he whistles or sings he is never quiet he even talks in his sleep,
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No offence if your Scottish, but Mum (being Scottish) could talk the hind leg of a donkey.
This was one of the warning signs of her AD symptoms. She just seemed to talk less and less, and was/is very quiet in social situations. She can't follow a group conversation. Only one or two people talking at a time. When on the phone now her calls which would previously be up to an hr or two are now maximum 20 mins, and then she repeats most of what she is saying.
Just occasionally Mum of old comes through, and if in the car, I have to tell her " Mum we will have to stop talking now there is lots of traffic and I have to concentrate" She will for maybe 2mins.
.... one day her talking nearly caused me to drive through a red light
No answers on that sorry.
This was one of the warning signs of her AD symptoms. She just seemed to talk less and less, and was/is very quiet in social situations. She can't follow a group conversation. Only one or two people talking at a time. When on the phone now her calls which would previously be up to an hr or two are now maximum 20 mins, and then she repeats most of what she is saying.
Just occasionally Mum of old comes through, and if in the car, I have to tell her " Mum we will have to stop talking now there is lots of traffic and I have to concentrate" She will for maybe 2mins.
.... one day her talking nearly caused me to drive through a red light
No answers on that sorry.
Hi you may find putting some music on helps your mam relax , some people enjoy listening to music with headphones she may start to concentrate on the music and might talk less has she may feel that there is a response that she's looking for , hope it helps
Thank you everyone it's a comfort to know its part of their condition and am not the only one struggling with it. Mum just talks over music on cd or TV programmes but like your suggestion Nicola68 of headphones might try that one. She went to day centre today so gets up early so is tired and goes to sleep much earlier so do get rest one day a week! Will ask Santa for some earplugs and an extra dose of patience hohoho
I now realise why my late Dad used to take so long to do the hoovering and did it so often. It is the only time my Mum ever stopped talking. In the early sundowning stages she could go on incessantly for hours, I truly felt my ears would start to bleed and I lost my voice answering.
Now 18 months on the talking is slowing and she doesn't always need an answer, though this is something of a relief I do dread a time she may not talk to me at all, even if it is always about the same things.
Now 18 months on the talking is slowing and she doesn't always need an answer, though this is something of a relief I do dread a time she may not talk to me at all, even if it is always about the same things.
It is so hard that we find the endless talking unbearable and yet when the talking stops, we would give so much to hear our loved ones' voices again.
My mum also has Vascular Dementia. She's always been a Tv addict even before she became ill, and she spends most of her time watching Tv when she's not at the Day Centre. Because she's not able to read the Tv magazine or use the remote control I programme the tv for her every night so that it changes channels automatically. Great idea you might think! The trouble is that mum questions me about what she can watch on the tv, and she wants all the details - what's on, what time it's on, how long it's on for, what channel it's on, what's on after it, who's in it, etc. I answer her questions and then a few seconds later, she'll start all over again, same questions and usually in the same order. This can go on and on as she's very persistent and isn't easily distracted. I sometimes feel like I'm being interrogated, and when I'm really tired I get confused and can't remember myself what I've put on! I finally settle her, get out of the house and into the car only to see her standing at the front door. I go back to see what she wants, and I then get the question, "Is there anything on television tonight?" Aaaargh.
WHY so much talking?
Before I was allowed to get to sleep last night I answered the same question nine times in about five minutes. Hard to imagine it's been forgotten within such a brief interval. I suppose at bedtime when he's tired my husband is ever more desperately trying to cling to what he's losing.
I have a theory that when he's with anyone he fills the air with talk because while he's transmitting he doesn't have to try and absorb what others are saying to him. Probably it takes more effort to listen and try to absorb information than it does to transmit. He often interrupts and talks over me, I think for the same reason.
Before I was allowed to get to sleep last night I answered the same question nine times in about five minutes. Hard to imagine it's been forgotten within such a brief interval. I suppose at bedtime when he's tired my husband is ever more desperately trying to cling to what he's losing.
I have a theory that when he's with anyone he fills the air with talk because while he's transmitting he doesn't have to try and absorb what others are saying to him. Probably it takes more effort to listen and try to absorb information than it does to transmit. He often interrupts and talks over me, I think for the same reason.
