My husband has Lewy Body Dementia. One of my biggest issues at present, is that he constantly wants to interact with complete strangers, including children. He will stop people passing us by, or stop at someone's table in a cafe. The trouble is that his speech is completely unintelligible. I used to be able to work out what he was trying to say,but, these days, even I can't understand him. The other day, he told a complete stranger that she was full of gas! I think he meant he couldn't see her well, because the sun was too bright behind her! He then pretended to shoot two young men coming towards us. Parents, understandably, are very wary of this big man talking apparent nonsense to their child. I try and gently pull him away from such confrontations, but he gets cross with me. Has anyone else had this problem? Any advice would be gratefully appreciated.
Constant interaction with strangers
- Thread starter Emilypen
- Start date
hi Emilypen. it must be a problem for you, you know that he's only wanting to be friendly with folk but you don't know what their resctions will be....I think that there's a a pendant that the pwd can wear round their neck that lets folk know that they have dementia, this might help. I've never seen them but I m sure someone else on this forum will give you advice about them...
Hi @Emilypen , not exactly the same but OH will talk to strangers and children in particular. He likes to show children his talking watch and I worry his intention will be misconstrued. His conversation is garbled at times.
I bought him badges from Amazon " I have dementia please be patient". People are really kind and understanding when they notice it. I put on his jumper and coats. Even been through the wash accidentally and still like new.
Most people either know or have a family member with dementia and we have only had nice experiences.
Other alternatives are a daffodil lanyard (Ive started seeing lots more of these around) or if he wont wear anything, getting printed business sized cards that say something like - Im sorry for any upset, I have dementia. Then discretely hand one out when necessary
Our local dementia group has forget me not lanyards which ,I think, people will associate with dementia.
I have doubts about the benefits of badges proclaiming to the world that the wearer suffers from dementia. Such badges could cause the wearer to become a target for abuse in a number of ways. Sadly not everyone is kind, understanding and tolerant these days. A badge may help if the sufferer is also accompanied by a carer/loved one, but to wear one when out alone I am not so sure.
My OH is incapable of going anywhere unaccompanied. But I've honestly not experienced any adverse reaction.
I worked in a senior school and actually disability, and dementia is something even the hardest of student could identify with. So many have grandparents or gt grandparents with it. Imo I think you'd be unlucky to have an adverse response.
I can see where you are coming from - I agree that, sadly, not everyone is kind understanding or tolerant and I certainly wouldnt recommend that everyone with dementia wears a badge. However, if someone with dementias behaviour is such that it needs some form of explanation, then I think they would become a target for unscrupulous people anyway, whether they wore a badge or not. At least this way, kind people would be more understanding and tolerant.
I agree @canary . I think the advantage outweighs the disadvantages especially when behaviour could make them a target anyway.
My husband does this all the time except his conversations make sense. He insists that he knows most strangers, “from somewhere.” In his head they are all old friends of his. I’m usually with him. For the most part he is early stages. He would refuse, to wear anything that indicates he has dementia. Luckily, he just talks to adults and not children. I always tell the people that if he is bothering them just tell him they’re busy and can’t talk right now. Even though he is standing right there, I know he won’t remember what I said. He usually only talks to people for a minute or two, if it’s longer than that I tell him we need to be somewhere and need to get going or if we’re in a restaurant that his food is getting cold.
If someone has been nice enough to listen to him I also thank them and tell them that they have made his day and that he doesn’t have a lot of those.
If someone has been nice enough to listen to him I also thank them and tell them that they have made his day and that he doesn’t have a lot of those.
Have got to agree. My friend, a PWD, does not wear a badge but lots of people know that he has dementia. To prevent abuse, when we go out, I make sure that he does not carry any £20 notes, only carries £10s. If he handed over a £20, the person providing the service can say that my friend handed over a £10 and shortchange him. Twice bitten, the carrying of only £10 notes prevents any such mistakes or abuse happening again.
That's a sensible thing to do but a badge isn't going to make a difference to that . OP and my OH have bizarre behaviour and the badge is an explanation of that .These people are vulnerable people whether they wear a badge or not. Should they be going out alone if they are that vulnerable?
Sorry, i should have explained that my friend never goes out alone and only visits two places where he can pay by himself. And in both places the amount he is charged is the same every time we visit and by handing over his £10 note the change is always the same too.
Ahh... I know that some like to pay and it's good to be able to do that safely. I honestly don't think paying for anything even enters my OH head.. very occasionally he says he wants some money but what he has in his wallet, £30, he's had since Christmas! If I ask what he needs money for he says to spend but forgets he has some to spend😂
I’d love for there to be a badge that doesn’t have to say it but we all r3ckgnise it, a but like the Marie Curie daffodil.
My husband does the same but he is understandable and most people are ok as they spot something isn’t quite right. He a,so doesn’t understand personal space so leans right into everyone’s ear, always a nuisance but when he raises his voice he can be intimidating - all 5’4” of him! Ioften have to apologise especially when he’s raised his voice.
There are the forget me not pins but they are not specifically for the pwd. They are a support/ fund raising pin also the forget me not lanyards
