HI all. I have read quite a number of posts in the forums here this morning, and see the outpouring of emotion and people describing similar situations to my own including how staff behave when they think you aren't there. How my brothers have behaved with lies during their emotional turmoil is another story. My mum has recently gone into a dementia unit, end of Nov 19, aged 90, and it has been heart breaking. Seeing the tears, the begging to be taken out and the loss of dignity and privacy all around. I visit 3 times a week . She is still mobile, and frequent lucidity where I can just about have a normal conversation sometimes. It also seems I am the only one that can understand her at other times. I think this is because I was doing so much caring for her in the many months before she moved out of home. I think she has the Lewry Bodies Dementia. My mum has been attacked twice by another patient in the carehome which has made the whole experience like hell. The last one he knocked her to the floor trying to strangle her. That person is now under direct supervision awaiting removal. Mum recently called Police to be rescued wanting to get out, and now the phone has been removed by my EPOA brother (lives 2hrs away). Unfortunately I wasn't in the country at the time of the will creation to be considered. I have a replacement phone ready that has no keypad and has quick dial buttons, but I am not allowed. She has no TV, and family photos have also been removed by family. Her room is all but barren apart from her own dresser suite furniture.
For the crying and begging to get out which is deemed 'normal' for new dementia patients, I would say would be normal for any sane person too! Except the dementia person can't comprehend either the reason or permanancy of the situation at times. I sometimes wonder if the so called 'acceptance' or 'they have settled now' is just a euphemism for the dementia having taken over to an extent that they can't process it at all anymore?
When I call the free dementia helpline for support, the lady (dementia educator is what she does for other homes) tells me mum should still have contact with the outside world, outings, and family photos and memories of the past help her to remember who she is today, including the phone seeing as I have one as described. Even the social worker from elder abuse has suggested daily visits during this hard time for her. So I am surprised to see on the forums here the common advocating of removal of such things as phone and memory related stuff to even visiting much less! From what I am seeing everything is happening to isolate mum and I am really finding it abhorrent and distressing.
For the crying and begging to get out which is deemed 'normal' for new dementia patients, I would say would be normal for any sane person too! Except the dementia person can't comprehend either the reason or permanancy of the situation at times. I sometimes wonder if the so called 'acceptance' or 'they have settled now' is just a euphemism for the dementia having taken over to an extent that they can't process it at all anymore?
When I call the free dementia helpline for support, the lady (dementia educator is what she does for other homes) tells me mum should still have contact with the outside world, outings, and family photos and memories of the past help her to remember who she is today, including the phone seeing as I have one as described. Even the social worker from elder abuse has suggested daily visits during this hard time for her. So I am surprised to see on the forums here the common advocating of removal of such things as phone and memory related stuff to even visiting much less! From what I am seeing everything is happening to isolate mum and I am really finding it abhorrent and distressing.
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