Concerned has to what happens next.

Discussion in 'Legal and financial issues' started by CrestFallen, Nov 27, 2018.

  1. CrestFallen

    CrestFallen Registered User

    Sep 12, 2018
    74
    Hi I've not posted for several weeks but would appreciate anyone's thoughts on what may happen next.

    If any of you have read my previous posts you will know of my fear confusion & predicament already but as not to confuse matters I now find myself in this situation. I decided that I will leave mums property and get a mortgage. So I have been concentrating on doing just that. In the mean time I've still heard nothing from the council. Her financial assement is not done and I still after all these months have only seen the social worker on three occasions. I'm quite certain the 12 week disregard on the property ends in a few weeks time. I have not made myself a deputy or attorney as I plan on telling the council to take over mums financial affairs. But I'm scared to do so until I no the mortgage as been agreed and that's several weeks off.

    Can any one say where I stand , nothings in my name and I've purposely left it that way. I'm not sure I've explained things properly but basically times running out on the 12 wk disregard , tho I've not been told anything officially. The council assumed I'd continue living at mums under deffered payment agreement. But I don't want to now I want to start a life of my own. Why should i babysit mums house any longer only to sell it and give it all to the LA down the line. It doesn't help that to this day i never ever hear from the council or see our social worker. My worry is if I say I'm revoking any representation at such at late stage what are the council likely to do ? financial wise or other. I need what money I have for my mortgage should I get it. Other people have said its shocking how I've been left to just get on with things and how little information I've been given so ****** them.
    But I'm pretty sure things don't work like that.

    Thanks
     
  2. Shedrech

    Shedrech Volunteer Moderator

    Dec 15, 2012
    6,705
    Yorkshire
  3. Daffy123

    Daffy123 Registered User

    Feb 1, 2018
    35
    Have you had any advice from CAB?
     
  4. CrestFallen

    CrestFallen Registered User

    Sep 12, 2018
    74
    I've spoken to both organizations no one seems to no. Legal wise I can't see how I'm doing anything wrong. I've lived in the house all my life looked after mum for 20 years. But I don't have any legal right to any of it, hence why I've decided not take out an attorney or deputy ship. I don't want the head ache of managing her property and finances especially since I've had zero support from anybody at the council as to what I need do. But I am scared to tell them take over , I don't no what consequences that will have on me. Or what will happen once the 12 weeks are up in mid December , I just don't know. Nothings in place ,the council haven't paid a penny to the care home as yet. They only get my mums contributions which I draw out her pension for them. I applied be her appointy with DWP several weeks ago so I could do this , but even that I've had nothing thru about since. I'm just sick of worrying all the time about everything, its been going on months and months and I just want get on with my life now mums settled in the home..
     
  5. canary

    canary Registered User

    Feb 25, 2014
    7,577
    Female
    South coast
    This is an awful waiting time for you. I think that it is a good idea to start to make arrangements in case you have to leave the house, but it may be that they are taking their time trying to decide whether or not to give you discretionary disregard over the house.

    They say that the squeakiest wheel gets the most oil and I would start squeaking, loudly and frequently to SS.
    In the meantime, try not to worry about the CH fees - you cant do anything about it.
     
  6. Louise7

    Louise7 Registered User

    Mar 25, 2016
    576
    I agree with the above - don't worry about the care home fees. My Mum moved into a nursing home in June. We are taking out a deferred payment pending the sale of the house but in the meantime no payments have been made to the home and the 12 week disregard date has long gone. The home is still waiting for the council to confirm the payment details, and we are still waiting for the deferred payment contract to arrive. Council's seem to take ages to sort out the financial side but the care homes are used to this happening. I'm just sitting back and waiting for them to get on with it. Mum won't be thrown out, and the home are liaising directly with the council. If the finance team need anything from the family then they know how to contact me, and it's no longer anything to do with social services so no point in trying to contact them. You really shouldn't be worrying about the payments. Easier said than done I know but there's too many other things in life to worry about without stressing about things that you have absolutely no control over. Get on with sorting out your own housing and leave the council and the home to sort out your Mum's care fees etc.
     
  7. CrestFallen

    CrestFallen Registered User

    Sep 12, 2018
    74
    Thank you both very much for your words of support. You know for a good while I was able put all this to back of my mind and plodded on feeling ok..ish. Now tho its all come back to me probably because I'm reaching the 12 week end game period and still nothings been done.

    Do either of you know if I don't have attorney or deputyship can I sign for a deffered payment scheme on mums home. Personaly I doubt it because in my mind I have no legal right. On the other hand if I instruct them take over and manage mums affairs anyway to my thinking they won't need my signature as I don't have any legal standing other that next of kin which means nothing. Thank you for saying don't worry over it to much , its really good to hear from people who know what I'm talking about. It does help..
     
  8. canary

    canary Registered User

    Feb 25, 2014
    7,577
    Female
    South coast
    No, dont sign anything.
    Wait until they have decided what happens about the house ie whether or not they are going to give disregard or not. That decision is going to change what you will do, so dont try and anticipate what will happen. If someone tries to get you to sign for a deferred payment refer them back to SS saying that you dont know yet whether the house will be disregarded.
     
  9. Daffy123

    Daffy123 Registered User

    Feb 1, 2018
    35
    Have you asked for the house to be disregarded, due to it being your home for all you life plus being a carer for 20 years?
    It awful that you are in this situation.
     
  10. CrestFallen

    CrestFallen Registered User

    Sep 12, 2018
    74
    Hi Daffy no I haven't asked. I brought it up with my social worker when I last had a meeting with him but he didn't no what a discretionary disregard was. He also told me that I'd be getting a new social worker as he is connected with the hospital and I'd be getting a community social worker for mum but nothing's happened. Never seen him since or heard anything so I went see about a mortgage couple weeks ago. I've not even got any hot water here now , I have to boil a kettle lol. Nothings in my name so can't get anything done or fixed. I'm worried to tell the LA to take over mums affairs until I've got some where go. 12 weeks disregard is up in few weeks and I've not done what they told me to which was become the attorney. I don't know what will happen so I'm trying not worry about it like the others have suggested i do. I'm sure I can't go to jail but I don't want be in some financial hell with regards mums care costs, I need move on with my life now, its been an horrible year feel like I lost everything.
     
  11. canary

    canary Registered User

    Feb 25, 2014
    7,577
    Female
    South coast
    Social Workers dont know very much about the financial side. It is not up to them to decide whether you are eligible for a discretionary disregard or not. Speak to the finances department. The financial assessor who came round to OH and I was very good and knew everything about the financial side. If you dont ask you wont get.
     
  12. witts1973

    witts1973 Registered User

    Jun 20, 2018
    363
    That's amazing him not knowing about what a disregard is,I rememeber you and I feel for you in your situation,you do need to get some answers though and make some noise,it's your decision to make but you need to ask them to disregard the home as you have looked after your mother for so long,it's been your home and they are dying to get their hands on it,please don't make it so easy for them,have you approached the CAB to get some support,this will give you a louder voice as somebody else knows what's happening then and the council will tread more carefully and surely give you greater consideration.
     
  13. CrestFallen

    CrestFallen Registered User

    Sep 12, 2018
    74
    Hi Witt's..
    To be honest I feel abandoned I've decided I don't want mums home & her care needs paying for so they can have the house. Only people I can see buying it are going be builders because it needs so much doing to it. My look on things is it'd cost me the same to get a mortgage and modernize it as it would to move in my own place and everythings already done. My father passed away when I was 21 at this home all my memories are here but its time make new memories. My biggest fear is what the council will do because I've not done as they asked, or told them I want them take over. I'm holding off until I know I got some where live I'm sure tho they won't turf me out before Xmas if I tell them now but if they refuse take over what do I do then. It may even turn out that once the financial assements done they disgard the house anyway. But that's another story..if it happens that way.
     
  14. witts1973

    witts1973 Registered User

    Jun 20, 2018
    363
    I know what your saying,and I know you're frustrated and this goes against what you are saying your going to do,but when you mention the finacial assesment and "they might decide to disregard the house anyway"that would only be if you made a formal request for them to disregard the house,don't rely on any charity from them,anyway I wish you well it's terrible to have to go through all of this.
     
  15. canary

    canary Registered User

    Feb 25, 2014
    7,577
    Female
    South coast
    I know that you are finding this overwhelming, but why should the council have your mums house if you would be eligible for a disregard?

    In dementia world you have to fight for your rights, unfortunately, so put in a formal request to the Local Authority for a discretionary disregard - they wont give it unless you have requested it and I seem to remember you saying that they wont get much money out of it anyway, so they wont lose much by granting it. You could get a couple of estate agents in to give a valuation, so they can see how little they would get.

    Once you have put in a formal request do some work about finding out about mortgages etc for yourself in case the LA doesnt grant this and then sit tight until you know.
     
  16. Daffy123

    Daffy123 Registered User

    Feb 1, 2018
    35
    #16 Daffy123, Nov 30, 2018
    Last edited by a moderator: Dec 2, 2018
    If one Citizens Advice Bureau has not been helpful then I would go to another branch to see if you can get some decent advice. Or go to another person in the branch. Also you could consider contacting local carer group to see if they can offer advice and support.
    It's an appalling situation, as clearly you have been left in the dark.
    If you want a discretionary disregarded then you will need to put in a request stating your reasons why.
     
  17. witts1973

    witts1973 Registered User

    Jun 20, 2018
    363
    I would certainly agree with that I dropped in to a local CAB where they visit a local library and felt that the lady didn't have much knowledge and when I visited the main CAB in the next town they had loads of people,some of these people have great compassion and determination and will put a great deal of energy in to helping somebody in need with the experience that they have,Crestfallen would benefit greatly from establisihing contact with somebody that will offer support through this process
     
  18. CrestFallen

    CrestFallen Registered User

    Sep 12, 2018
    74
    Things this weekend have taken a sudden turn. Yesterday morning I had thru the post a package from the council. Basically it was my mothers DPA application forms for me fill in and sign her financial assements been completed. Also a cursory note attached saying I need LPA or COP to fill in these forms. If I don't get this done before 13 12 2018 then the care home will no longer be paid and I will have to find the payment's. So I've got two weeks not having heard a thing in months. I have prepped an email to send tomorrow saying I don't have legal capacity to sign these forms and I want the council to take over and manage mums affairs. I am making plans to move out in the new year please start this process. My question to you guys is do you think they can refuse take over or any idea what they may say to me. I'm guessing no one really knows and I'll just have to find out by telling them officially I don't want to manage mums property or finances. Another sleep less nite ahead I guess.
     
  19. witts1973

    witts1973 Registered User

    Jun 20, 2018
    363
    #19 witts1973, Dec 2, 2018
    Last edited: Dec 2, 2018
    They can't make you do anything,there will be a mechanism that exists which would be the same as it would be for people that don't have children or anyone to act for them and they would have to follow that path,I would be tempted to go to the CAB find somebody nice that can see how overwhelmed you are and see if they can send a vigorous letter setting out your position explaining how stressed you have felt by this process,enquire beforehand via phone to see who is the head of the department at LA and then send communications to him only so there is one point of contact and things are then kept tidy and then they can't blame anything on anyone else in the office.

    while you are at CAB have a good chat and get some of this off your chest,take some ID to the CAB as I would imagine they would need to see this to confirm who you are in the respect of you giving them permission to act for you,I'm pretty sure you will be walking a lot taller after having been to the CAB they will know the ins and outs as they must be dealing with this all of the time
     
  20. CrestFallen

    CrestFallen Registered User

    Sep 12, 2018
    74
    Thanks mate yeah I'm going do that like you say they must have something in place to take over even if it is the elevenith hour. The lack of information in these situations is outstandingly poor. At least I have a plan I can explain now has opposed to being all over the place with what I'm saying. God knows what will happen to me once I've laid this on them and if I don't get the mortgage I could well of just made myself homeless if i let them have the house and they sell it, which is what they'll do if I don't enter into deffered payments. But that remains to be seen.
    Cheers Witt's hope your ok..?
     

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