My mother with Alzheimer's aged 94, has been in a care home for 18 months now. Slowly deteriorating terribly confused as expected. Very bad legs , ulcers, but otherwise fairly well. Yawns a lot, lethargic and tired all the time.
Sometimes the fairy lights are on , sometimes off. I can have a sensible conversation one minute then she says something odd like ' why haven't mum and dad been to see me?'
She 's more settled than she was, altho i wish i could say she was happy there. My sister and i feel it is the best place for her; the care is good and we like the staff, who really try hard.
However, she complains a great deal to me, when I visit., and always wants to go out, . I visit every 3rd day, roughly.. She came home on Easter Sunday , here with some of the family. Cant remember that now, of course. Keeps asking to come and live nearer to me ( she is 20 mins away!) Says she is fed up with where she is. Denies having any help where she is, says she does everything herself, which of course I know is not true.
Complains about the food, its not very good , no flavour, and we never have this or that. ! Complains about The other residents, hasn't really made a friend sadly, but perhaps she hasn't got the capacity to do that now, and she always was a bit choosy.
An ice cream is too cold, she s always either not warm enough or too hot., can't settle, is very fidgety.
I suppose I just need to know if this is all the dementia, in which case ...do I ignore, or do I respond, and move her somewhere else. We did move her last year very briefly to what we thought might be a nicer, poster, place in town, , but she had a melt down, so went back to the original home, as they welcomed her back very kindly.
I know we are all on a journey but it's hard knowing how to deal with al, of this, and good to hear others thoughts . By the way, the home say she seems happy and doesnt complain to them, well, she wouldn't would she !
Thank you for any kind words in response.
Sometimes the fairy lights are on , sometimes off. I can have a sensible conversation one minute then she says something odd like ' why haven't mum and dad been to see me?'
She 's more settled than she was, altho i wish i could say she was happy there. My sister and i feel it is the best place for her; the care is good and we like the staff, who really try hard.
However, she complains a great deal to me, when I visit., and always wants to go out, . I visit every 3rd day, roughly.. She came home on Easter Sunday , here with some of the family. Cant remember that now, of course. Keeps asking to come and live nearer to me ( she is 20 mins away!) Says she is fed up with where she is. Denies having any help where she is, says she does everything herself, which of course I know is not true.
Complains about the food, its not very good , no flavour, and we never have this or that. ! Complains about The other residents, hasn't really made a friend sadly, but perhaps she hasn't got the capacity to do that now, and she always was a bit choosy.
An ice cream is too cold, she s always either not warm enough or too hot., can't settle, is very fidgety.
I suppose I just need to know if this is all the dementia, in which case ...do I ignore, or do I respond, and move her somewhere else. We did move her last year very briefly to what we thought might be a nicer, poster, place in town, , but she had a melt down, so went back to the original home, as they welcomed her back very kindly.
I know we are all on a journey but it's hard knowing how to deal with al, of this, and good to hear others thoughts . By the way, the home say she seems happy and doesnt complain to them, well, she wouldn't would she !
Thank you for any kind words in response.