Companionship - How can I help my Dad meet people

[DaughterSeekingGuidance]

Hello,

My Dad was diagnosed with late onset Alzheimer’s early last year. He’s since had a marriage breakdown and has moved counties to be closer to me and my brother. He goes for a wander round town and is enjoying where he lives, but he is lonely. I work a full time in a fairly stressful role and I’m an active POA for my Dad and my Uncle. I spend the time I can with my Dad, but it isn’t enough for him and I’m stretching myself too thin.

I’d love to get my Dad involved in some groups so he can connect with people as he has said a fair few times he is lonely, but I’m really struggling to find anything locally (Stratford upon Avon) that he could get to. He plays guitar and sings well, he doesn’t read anymore which is a shame as it was a passion, but the love for music has remained.

If anyone has ideas as to where I can go to find options for him / how I can find groups, I’d appreciate it. It just seems to be like there is nothing available locally, but I’m hoping I’ve just not found the right info yet… I’m open to companionship services too, though in person is much better for him than online or on the phone.

Yours hopefully

 

[Jessbow]

U3A immediately springs to mind- depending how far on in the dementia journey he is.
otherwise, AgeUK day centre?
Does the libriary run any sessions? ours does singing for the brain, as well as seniors groups

 

[DaughterSeekingGuidance]

AgeUK surprisingly have nothing locally. The library doesn’t seem to either, although my searches have been online so I’ll pop out to them just to be sure. I hadn’t heard of U3A though so I’m Googling that now, thank you!

 

[Banjomansmate]

Any local pubs do folk clubs or music evenings?

 

[Sue741215]

I advertised on Nextdoor local community website for a companion for my husband and 2 men came forward to take him out once a week each for lunch as that is what my husband likes. I was willing to pay but both insisted on doing without pay and I just paid for their lunch. One fell by the wayside but the other has been doing it for a couple of years - he is a real star as my husband does not listen to a word he says. It would be worth a try especially as your dad has a particular interest and someone may be willing to take him to a concert, music pub or group. You could also google dementia choirs in your area. in fact I've just googled dementia groups in Stratford upon Avon and there seem to be quite a few eg \memory Club that says it caters for individual skills and needs and is open 10 till 3 on Tuesdays and Wednesdays. You've probably looked at these but thought I'd mention it in case you haven't. Might be that he is not ready for this type of group yet.

Hope this is helpful and that you find something to make his life more sociable.

 

[DaughterSeekingGuidance]

I advertised on Nextdoor local community website for a companion for my husband and 2 men came forward to take him out once a week each for lunch as that is what my husband likes. I was willing to pay but both insisted on doing without pay and I just paid for their lunch. One fell by the wayside but the other has been doing it for a couple of years - he is a real star as my husband does not listen to a word he says. It would be worth a try especially as your dad has a particular interest and someone may be willing to take him to a concert, music pub or group. You could also google dementia choirs in your area. in fact I've just googled dementia groups in Stratford upon Avon and there seem to be quite a few eg \memory Club that says it caters for individual skills and needs and is open 10 till 3 on Tuesdays and Wednesdays. You've probably looked at these but thought I'd mention it in case you haven't. Might be that he is not ready for this type of group yet.

Hope this is helpful and that you find something to make his life more sociable.

Thank you Sue, I’m talking with the memory club as I came across them yesterday too, I can’t understand why they didn’t come up in my searches before that but it’s a good step forward! I’m willing to pay for a companion, but I was hoping to find things that felt less like care.. it’s wonderful you had people step forward and good to know as I don’t think I would have asked. Thanks for your ideas

 

[DaughterSeekingGuidance]

Any local pubs do folk clubs or music evenings?

They do, but getting him there and back is the bit I’m struggling with without doing it myself. I’ve taken him to a few evening things, but would like it to be more often than I can accommodate.
Thanks

 

[Sue741215]

Thank you Sue, I’m talking with the memory club as I came across them yesterday too, I can’t understand why they didn’t come up in my searches before that but it’s a good step forward! I’m willing to pay for a companion, but I was hoping to find things that felt less like care.. it’s wonderful you had people step forward and good to know as I don’t think I would have asked. Thanks for your ideas

I'm glad to hear that the Memory Club may be a suitable option for you. Also just to say the men who meet my husband are not carers and as far as he is aware they are new friends - which they have become to an extent. I advertised and met up with them for coffee and introduced one to my husband as someone who was looking to make new friends and the other as a friend of the first though they meet him separately.