My mum has recently passed away. The GP gave the cause of death as Alzeimer's. Mum had had Dementia for many years and finally had to go into care, very much against her will, in Jan 2014 as she could no longer live independently with help from me and my sister.
After January 2015 her condition worsened (probably as a result of treatment for malignant melonoma). Her memory became very bad; she forgot who I was a couple of times and also asked me if I knew who she was. She was terribly frightened and kept asking us to help her but there seemed no way to reassure her as she forgot everything we said almost immediately.
We were contacted by the care home on the Monday and told to "prepare ourselves for the worst". My sister had visited Mum the previous Friday and there had been no signs of any imminent decline. When we visited her on the Monday she could no longer talk, except for occasional outbursts of shouting for help and get me out of here.
We spent the next 5 days with Mum. She was not able to communicate properly with us again but the screaming out for help continued as well as regular unreal outbursts of strength when she would sit up and try to get out of bed.
She could still manage liquids on the Monday. By the Wednesday she could not even swallow liquids. She was given morphine and also anti-anxiety medication. Still she managed to cry out for help and sit up.
She passed away on the Saturday.
I am left with the images of the last 5 days, which I cannot get out of my mind. I have no idea when she was aware of what was going on and when the medication might have given her some relief. Because of her memory loss, I have no idea if she heard what we said or understood what we were saying or remembered any of it.
It is difficult coping with the death of a loved one, but impossible when you are not sure what that loved one was thinking, feeling or understanding.
If anyone can throw any light on these last stages of this horrendous disease that might bring us some comfort then they will be gratefully received.
Thank you
After January 2015 her condition worsened (probably as a result of treatment for malignant melonoma). Her memory became very bad; she forgot who I was a couple of times and also asked me if I knew who she was. She was terribly frightened and kept asking us to help her but there seemed no way to reassure her as she forgot everything we said almost immediately.
We were contacted by the care home on the Monday and told to "prepare ourselves for the worst". My sister had visited Mum the previous Friday and there had been no signs of any imminent decline. When we visited her on the Monday she could no longer talk, except for occasional outbursts of shouting for help and get me out of here.
We spent the next 5 days with Mum. She was not able to communicate properly with us again but the screaming out for help continued as well as regular unreal outbursts of strength when she would sit up and try to get out of bed.
She could still manage liquids on the Monday. By the Wednesday she could not even swallow liquids. She was given morphine and also anti-anxiety medication. Still she managed to cry out for help and sit up.
She passed away on the Saturday.
I am left with the images of the last 5 days, which I cannot get out of my mind. I have no idea when she was aware of what was going on and when the medication might have given her some relief. Because of her memory loss, I have no idea if she heard what we said or understood what we were saying or remembered any of it.
It is difficult coping with the death of a loved one, but impossible when you are not sure what that loved one was thinking, feeling or understanding.
If anyone can throw any light on these last stages of this horrendous disease that might bring us some comfort then they will be gratefully received.
Thank you