Clothes in care home!

[Anongirl]

I had another lovely visit to mum today. I took my 3 year old son and she was sat enjoying the sunshine in the pretty garden, she was over the moon to see her grandson and showed him off to everyone!

The care home has a newsletter and there is a lovely welcome to mum in there and it says mum has made good friends with two other residents and they are affectionately known as the "three amigos"! So sweet.

She's had her hair and nails done and she's clean and relaxed. I couldn't ask for more. I am more than happy with her care.

My only bugbear is clothes! I regularly buy her new clothes but every time I go she is wearing someone else's tops, usually layered! Mum gets herself up and dressed in the mornings quite often and the care home have a theory that the lady next door thinks mum's wardrobe is hers so goes in and hangs her clothes up, then mum slips them on the next day!

It's not a big deal but mum has some lovely clothes (she's always loved fashion) yet she's wearing the jumper of a 95 year old lady! (No offence to 95 year old's fashion sense of course!).

Overall though I am a happy bunny. The sunshine helped x

 

[Dazmum]

That's so lovely to hear AG!

I haven't seen my mum wearing other ladies clothes, but I always find other's clothes in her wardrobe! Like you my mum has some nice clothes although her jumpers and cardigans suffer at the hands of the home's laundry. I always go through her wardrobe and drawers and give back anything that isn't hers. It is difficult, I wouldn't want to see mum wearing other people's things either. But, like your mum, she is clean and happy!

 

[Ladybird23]

My dad was wearing someone else's shoes at the weekend. He had clothes in his wardrobe that were not him. Sorted them out til next time. We never give him expensive clothes for this reason. At least his is clean fed and watered and safe.

 

[Portia]

My enthusiasm for sewing on name tags has lessened now But I have invested in a Sharpie Rubadub Laundry marker to at least get Aunties room number written on most of her stuff (including vest & underwear) though socks still defeat me...

I too go through her wardrobe and clear out all the items which are not hers.

Despite all the indignities of her condition I still find seeing her in someone elses clothing the most upsetting.

Slippers, don't get me started on slippers.. I now only buy ones with a light coloured lining which I can write her name inside of easily.
I once found five odd slippers in the bottom of her wardrobe (none of them hers)
xx

 

[Anongirl]

Thanks for your replies! I would be so embarrassed if a relative saw mum in their loved one's clothes. It's not like she hasn't got any of her own. It's the indignity also, mum wouldn't want it. I asked her about it and she just said she puts on whatever is in her wardrobe. Every time I go I take clothes out that aren't hers and hand them back. I have laundry proof stickers with her name on and also a sharpie pen which I use too. Her shoes have her name in, even her knickers! I don't bother with socks though. Life's too short

On Sunday I got her changed into her own clothes but I lost the will today. I suppose it's hard for me to come to terms with the fact mum can't even recognise her own clothing or even her own taste in clothing. I suppose I miss seeing her as she was. It's hard to see her dressed much older than she would ever do. She always used to say to me "I never want to get old".

P.S Just to add, I bought her two new pairs of comfy pumps to wear around the place instead of the old boots she went in with. I asked her today if she had worn them and her reply? "Oh I'm saving those" Arrrghhhh!! For what exactly?! This is mum all over. Saving all her 'best' things. I always used to tell her off for it. Some things don't change!

 

[Sue J]

Perhaps the three Amigos should have a fashion show Anongirl and take some photos in their own outfits - it would help the staff realise whose clothes belong to who - which may in turn help the residents.

Good to read that she is happy though

 

[Dazmum]

I use some button things to label some of mum's clothes, you use them with the woven labels. I also label her socks as they are cosy fit ones for her chubby ankles and they are quite expensive!

 

[copsham]

Clothes

It is strange (or maybe not) that we are all coming from the same starting point on the subject of clothes. Once a week I go through mum's wardrobe and put out a few items that don't belong to her. They often have other peoples names on them or no names at all.

I had to make the decision not to get "het up" about lost clothes as everything else is good in the nursing home. I am so grateful for the kindness they show mum and I have to accept and be grateful that it is 95% okay but not 100%!!

 

[copsham]

Clothes

Delete

 

[Pigeon11]

"First up, best dressed" is an old Yorkshire saying that springs to mind. I have the same problem that people have mentioned on here. I either find that my dad has other people's clothes on or that there are 'alien' garments hanging in his wardrobe. I am not organised enough to know if there are any things I have bought that have been 'hijacked' by others.

I have become quite philosophical about it all. He is loved, clean, warm and dry and despite the fact that he was quite particular about what he wore, he was also a generous man who would have gladly given his last pair of socks to a complete stranger. So I don't get upset about it.

 

[Anongirl]

Perhaps the three Amigos should have a fashion show Anongirl and take some photos in their own outfits - it would help the staff realise whose clothes belong to who - which may in turn help the residents.

Good to read that she is happy though

Lovely idea Sue! They were asking for ideas for activities. Can you imagine the mayhem that would ensue?!

It is good to see her looked after and happy though. Absolutely xxx

 

[Anongirl]

I absolutely agree that as long as she is safe and healthy I don't give a monkeys what she is wearing really!

I suppose it's always about adjusting with this disease isn't it? It's either the sufferer having to adjust or the carer having to adjust.

What makes me smile is that I bought her some cargo trousers with a comfy drawstring waist at the weekend and I took them to her. When she saw them she said "I don't think I like them". She was stood there with someone else's tight elastic waisted leggings on which were too small so when she turned around you could see her knickers through the fabric!

Perhaps it's for the best they don't have full length mirrors around the home

 

[FifiMo]

I had a little smile as this brought back memories. My first question for you to ponder is - does your mum know and recognise what clothes are hers? Are there a number of new items in there that she doesn't associate with being hers? My mother wasn't wearing things because she said they weren't hers.

Then there was the daily jumble sale! Clothes changed hands throughout the day some days. Cardigan taken off in the lounge - put on by someone else - shoes or slippers under a chair - end up on someone else's feet. Yes everything was labelled but from the resident's point of view that means diddly squat. Then you have the laundry being returned to the rooms - all in order - until the residents move it around - not only in their own wardrobe but to other rooms. Some think they have things that aren't theirs and they are scared in case someone thinks they've stolen them - so they move them on to another room. Then there is the pretty blouse that everyone wants! LOL

We started off like you - sorting out the stuff in her room - looking for items that were missing - returning others that weren't mum's. It was a thankless task. In the end up we gave up - we accepted that the only thing my mother would choose was her green cardigan! LOL So, the only thing I made sure about was that she had and was wearing her own underwear. Even then it would go missing - so we went for the bulk buy at the market stalls and went for quantity over quality. Socks we never labelled - used to take in the value socks from the supermarket instead of sweets when we visited.

Oh and if your mum likes the leggings then maybe get her a couple of pairs in her size - they might be her clothes of choice for a while.

Fiona

 

[BR_ANA]

Thanks for your replies! I would be so embarrassed if a relative saw mum in their loved one's clothes. It's not like she hasn't got any of her own. It's the indignity also, mum wouldn't want it. I asked her about it and she just said she puts on whatever is in her wardrobe. Every time I go I take clothes out that aren't hers and hand them back. I have laundry proof stickers with her name on and also a sharpie pen which I use too. Her shoes have her name in, even her knickers! I don't bother with socks though. Life's too short

No need for embrasment, it is a CH, I think "cute" when I see other resident with mom clothes and saying that was hers clothes. It is not indignity, it is confusion due dementia.

 

[Anongirl]

I had a little smile as this brought back memories. My first question for you to ponder is - does your mum know and recognise what clothes are hers? Are there a number of new items in there that she doesn't associate with being hers? My mother wasn't wearing things because she said they weren't hers.

Then there was the daily jumble sale! Clothes changed hands throughout the day some days. Cardigan taken off in the lounge - put on by someone else - shoes or slippers under a chair - end up on someone else's feet. Yes everything was labelled but from the resident's point of view that means diddly squat. Then you have the laundry being returned to the rooms - all in order - until the residents move it around - not only in their own wardrobe but to other rooms. Some think they have things that aren't theirs and they are scared in case someone thinks they've stolen them - so they move them on to another room. Then there is the pretty blouse that everyone wants! LOL

We started off like you - sorting out the stuff in her room - looking for items that were missing - returning others that weren't mum's. It was a thankless task. In the end up we gave up - we accepted that the only thing my mother would choose was her green cardigan! LOL So, the only thing I made sure about was that she had and was wearing her own underwear. Even then it would go missing - so we went for the bulk buy at the market stalls and went for quantity over quality. Socks we never labelled - used to take in the value socks from the supermarket instead of sweets when we visited.

Oh and if your mum likes the leggings then maybe get her a couple of pairs in her size - they might be her clothes of choice for a while.

Fiona

Hi Fiona. I always try to get mum clothes which are similar to each other. For example she likes stripey tops so I got her a few if those. She loves red and will instinctively reach for red or bright pink tops. Unfortunately this now applies to anyone's red or pink clothes! She had a mixture of the two on yesterday. Lovely

She looked like Mick Jagger in the leggings!

 

[Anongirl]

No need for embrasment, it is a CH, I think "cute" when I see other resident with mom clothes and saying that was hers clothes. It is not indignity, it is confusion due dementia.

Hi Br-Ana, it makes me wince because I know mum definitely would think it undignified to be wearing someone else's clothes (or more the taking of other people's clothes). However things have changed and it seems to be share and share alike now!

I've not seen anyone in her clothes yet, perhaps they don't like her style

 

[Ladybird23]

Made me smile reading this post. It is so good that we are not alone.

When my sister went yesterday Dad had got all clothes on that were his! Bravado!!!

 

[virg]

I mostly don't have a problem with the clothes being 'shared'. The only time that I did have an issue was when Mum was wearing the bloke from the next room's clothes - a man's shirt and trousers! I'm pretty sure that she would have gone and helped herself though.

I remember early on having an argument with her when she was going through someone else's wardrobe - she was adamant it was all her stuff that she'd had for years.

 

[elizabet]

I also used to find dresses in my Mum's wardrobe which did not belong to her including a size 22 dress -she was size 12.I wrote her room number on every item of clothing in permanent ink .Once she was settled in the home I discovered she believed that some of the new cardigans and jumpers I had bought her and shown to her did not belong to her and she never wore any of them -kept saying they belonged to the person who had lived in here before her. In the end I was thankful she was safe and warm in her home . Living for the moment and enjoying being with your parent is greater than worrying about what they are wearing -and now especially when Mum died 29th Dec those moments are precious.

 

[dottyd]

I find it hard to see mums plentiful wardrobe has now diminished.

I bought her some beautiful tops from abroad. They look really expensive but weren't....I'm a canny shopper ;-) however seeing them ripped, stained not washed right is something I just have had to learn to get over.

I didn't give her all these tops en masse, just whenever she had a nice occasion to wear them.