'Clothes being stolen'

[country lass]

Hi All,
I have just spent the last 30 mins listening to my mother in law telling me that 'the people' are stealing all her clothes and she has nothing left to wear. She is absolutely convinced that there are people (she sees them constantly) and that they taking her clothes, perfume, jewellery etc. Her husband who she sadly does not recognise found his bowling glove in one of her handbags! I told her I will call tomorrow and will look for the clothes - but I don't know what to do:
Would I upset her more by going through the presses looking for her stuff
or
Do I just go along with her that all her stuff has been stolen even though it upsets her?
Last week she was looking for perfume and i found it - she wanted it hidden so the 'people cant get it' so we put in between sheets in the press. I told her I will tell Jim (her husband) where it is and she said no thats not Jim, thats the man.
She wants wires put on the doors - dont know what ones she is talking about.
Seemingly last week she moved things from one press to another and then to another. Last week she flooded the apartment downstairs - she put the plug in the sink and walked away. She said she did not know that you had to turn off the tap.
As this is relatively new to us all some help would be grateful.

 

[LYN T]

Oh Dear

MIL could be having hallucinations and/or delusions. She sounds very frightened an d how ever often you tell her things haven't been stolen she won't believe you I'm afraid.

Does MIL have a mental health Doctor or CPN? If so phone them. Or a SW?

Medication can help but, conversely, medication can also be the cause. Try to make notes (dates/times etc) of when she is most disturbed.

I do feel for you

Take care

Lyn T

P S Oops sorry! I forgot to welcome you to TP

 

[FifiMo]

One of the things that is suggested in these circumstances is not to try and convince your mum that she is wrong. This is her 'reality' so in that respect you have to join her in her world. What can help is if you take responsibility for telling these people to stop. Pick up the phone and let her hear you telling them they are to leave her things alone. If Jim is one of them then let her hear you telling him to stop moving her things and get him to apologise to her.

The difficulty is that once this starts happening they become fixated about this. With my mother I was amazed at the detail she could go into about the folks stealing from her and repeat this over and over, yet she could not remember something that actually happened 5 minutes ago.

It is worthwhile having a discussion with her GP or her memory clinic as there are medications available that can stop the hallucinations etc. My mother was put on Risperidone and this helped enormously and also dealt with the anxiety and aggression too. She became a happy and smiley little old lady over night with no more problems with folks visiting her.

Finally, it doesn't really matter what you do with her things. We used to just put everything back in its place knowing she would then move them in order to hide them and keep them safe. It was almost like a game. She moved everything, we tidied up after her. One thing that you will need to do is keep your eye on the bins. It is not beyond her to put stuff in there for safe keeping too. For this reason, you might want to take measures to keep items of value, such as Jewellery, safe as things can and will go missing and will never be found.

You might also find this thread of use as it gives ideas about how to communicate with someone with dementia and gives some insight as to how things are from their point of view too. http://forum.alzheimers.org.uk/show...ionate-Communication-with-the-Memory-Impaired

Fiona

 

[SallySC]

stolen clothes

the paranoia you describe is quite common. You could suggest you go upstairs together and 'look' for the clothes and then you'd be able to show her that they're all there. It's worth asking her for permission to look for the stuff so she still feels she is in control. It's useful to know where the hiding places are as then when things go missing you know where to look. If you find yourself going round in circles over the same old conversation then try distraction, particularly if you can do something active like a bit of gardening or go shopping as this might take her mind off her worries. It's important that she feels you believe her but don't add to it by making a big thing of it. If you appear not to believe her or tell her she's wrong it might make her more suspicious or argumentative and affect her levels of confidence. It is often a phase and it will pass. Hope this helps