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Today I have to continue the process of emptying Mum's home so it can be sold as she's moved into a care home. I cleared Dad's things in the summer after he died and that wasn't too difficult but with Mum's it's different . There's little room in the CH for ornaments and we've already got some in there. I don't seem to be able to give things away without heart break even to the local charity shop. What if i give something away and she remembers and asks for it ? My house is now full of boxes to be kept until later ! We will have to tell Mum today that it has to be sold. They lived there 42 years and it's all being put into boxes and given away . So sad . On top of everything else it's so draining .
I am not sure how we find the strength but we do with a grace, mine comes when I need it but not before. You are a brave lady. XThank you - I remember waking up a couple of days afterwards and thinking I have to live the rest of my life with this awful sadness - and I have done, we can do remarkable things sometimes can't we?
I kept dad's property for two years whilst we slowly cleared it as it was somewhere for us to stay when we visited him in the nursing home - we live 100 miles away. We wondered about staying in a Holiday Inn but we often had to keep dashing up to see dad in hospital. In the end, we had to move dad nearer to us at the end of last year (after two years in his previous Home) and so put his property on the market. It was the wrong thing for dad, I now think, as he died last month. We are awaiting Probate and Conveyancing as have a buyer. I think it was the right thing to keep his property even though it's been empty for over two years now. I hope you make the right decision for your situation.Thanks to everyone for their helpfully comments. I now have the house tidy so I'm going to put it up for sale soon. At present I go to visit Mum every other weekend spending about £50 on petrol each trip. I take food up with me for breakfast and an evening meal...usually just pasta and cook it in Mum's house. When the house is sold we will have to stay in a hotel and eat out and I think it will cost about £260 a month to visit Mum. That's a lot of money. I have POA for my Mum. Is it reasonable for her to contribute to this cost? She is self funding in her CH. Sounds dreadfull asking this question as i dont want to think of visiting Mum as a cost but in practice it is expensive.