1. rummy

    rummy Registered User

    Jul 15, 2005
    700
    Oklahoma,USA
    Hi dear freinds,
    I wanted to wish you all a happy holiday. I know that in the midst of this disease it is hard to find any joy in Christmas and I am certainly struggling with it this year. I am determined though to find new traditions and make new memories as we are faced with loosing family members this year and the very fast decline of my Mom. She loved Christmas so very much and gave me the gift of always seeing the magic at this time of year. So I am trying to honor her by continuing to celebrate the holiday even when I really don't feel like it. I know this is her last Christmas and that makes it difficult but I am going to try as hard as I can to make this a meaningful time for myself and my family.
    I hope you all can find some magic this season and in spite of AD can find some joy.
    God Bless,
    Debbie
     
  2. Kayla

    Kayla Registered User

    May 14, 2006
    621
    Kent
    Dear Debbie,
    I wish you a joyful and peaceful Christmas this year.

    It is the first Christmas without my Mum who died in May, but we are trying to look forward to the future and next year my daughter is getting married in July. We need to make new traditions and although we've now lost both sets of parents, we shall be adding a new son-in-law to our family soon.

    It is difficult adjusting to all the changes, but life goes on and we must try and remember all the good times with our loved ones, rather than all the sad times and the inevitable slow decline in health of elderly relatives.

    On Christmas Day I shall light a candle for my Mum so that she is in our thoughts as we celebrate with our family.

    It is hard to think of her not being here any more, not even in the Nursing Home.

    Kayla
     
  3. Brucie

    Brucie Registered User

    Jan 31, 2004
    12,413
    near London
    Hi Debbie

    it is so lovely to hear from you again.

    Please do see the magic of the season! I know it is a struggle, but it is through small things that are part of it that we remember the good times, if only fleetingly at first.

    Have you made any long trips on the bike lately?

    Very best wishes to you, and please do pop in from time to time and let us know how you are getting along.
     
  4. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    69,584
    Kent
    Dear Debbie,

    Thank you for your post, it`s so good to hear from you.

    I think everyone on TP is struggling with this `Festive Season` as there is so little to feel festive about. But we seem to be conditioned to make an effort and each can do so according to their personal belief and situation.

    I hope your Christmas is as happy as it can be and you do have some cause to celebrate.

    Love xx
     
  5. connie

    connie Registered User

    Mar 7, 2004
    9,519
    Frinton-on-Sea
    Hi Debbie, thank you for your good wishes.

    I love your words:
    May you, mum, and all your family enjoy Christmas as best you can.

    It is good to hear from you. Take care now.
     
  6. christine_batch

    christine_batch Registered User

    Jul 31, 2007
    3,388
    Buckinghamshire
    Hi Debbie,
    As said, although it is a sad time, we have our memories and with the Grandchildren, the first one with Peter being in last stage, the last thing that I feel like is Christmas. In saying that the children are suffering as well, so over Christmas I will put on that jolly face and try to keep our traditional family Christmas. Father Christmas has send a special present from Peter.
    So I wish you peace and lets hope 2008 will bring just a glimmer of hope and happiness for us all.
    Best wishes.
    Christine
     
  7. rummy

    rummy Registered User

    Jul 15, 2005
    700
    Oklahoma,USA
    Thanks

    Thank you all for responding. I saw Mom yesterday and she was talking to dead people again. She sees her parents there alot lately and hospice tells me she is getting ready to go. If I hadn't read that this is typical, I would be so spooked half the time! I'm trying to see all the blessings that are there even when it is sad.
    My daughter and her boyfriend are traveling here today and I am very much looking forward to it. And...we have snow in the forecast. A white Christmas would be a gift in itself !!
    I haven't been on the bike hardly at all this year Brucie. When this is behind us we hope to take many trips !!
    Take care everyone and I'll be back more often.
    Love, Debbie
     
  8. lizzie2596

    lizzie2596 Registered User

    Jul 3, 2007
    91
    Hi Debbie

    I know exactly what you mean about Christmas never being the same again but I was looking forward to making the best of things with my brother coming to stay and hopefully having Mum over for a few hours on Christmas Day.

    However I have just heard from my brother that he is too ill to come over and I feel like the bottom has fallen out of my world. I can see no point in anything Christmassy any more and just can't stop crying at the thought of being on my own. I know that, now Mum is in a care home, my life is bound to be more solitary but, after also being on my own for my Birthday last month, this is a devastating blow.

    Part of me feels guilty for not packing a case and heading over to my brothers to help look after him so that he is not all alone but I so want to spend some time with Mum on Christmas Day and I can't be in two places 120 miles apart at the same time.

    I can only look forward to my other brother coming over for New Year with his wife and daughter. I shall cook my Christmas meal then as there is no point in doing it on Christmas Day just for me.

    Sorry for the pathetic self-pitying tone but I can't help it at the moment.

    Liz x
     
  9. rummy

    rummy Registered User

    Jul 15, 2005
    700
    Oklahoma,USA
    Lizzie
    I'm going to take Christmas goodies to the old folks in my Mom's unit and try to get some carols going. I took a stuffed reindeer that played "here comes Santa claus" and antlier lite up, the ladies laughed hysterically at it and some have lost facial expression so it was really fun. I know it will be difficult for all of us but try not to dwell on the sad and make some smiles. Advice I am trying to do myself.....it isn't east and we will all just do the best we can. It won't always be this way and hopefully there will be normal, and a joyful season in the future.
    Take care,
    Debbie
    ps, pity is allowed on TP, thank goodness,:)
     
  10. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    69,584
    Kent
    Dear Liz,

    I`m so sorry you`ve been let down. Is there anything you can think of doing to prevent you being by yourself? The thought of you all alone on Christmas Day is awful.

    For what it`s worth, TP will be here for you. It`s a very poor substitute I know, but if you feel like a shoulder to cry on, I`ll be here.

    Love xx
     
  11. Margarita

    Margarita Registered User

    Feb 17, 2006
    10,824
    london
    #11 Margarita, Dec 22, 2007
    Last edited: Dec 22, 2007
    Carer that was washing mum, was in high sprite as she wash mum , saying its christmas , are you happy its christmas soon ? I was amazed as I heard mum try to struggle out a few coherent words in English , but done it , she said Christmas is for children , also was surprised that mum had some logic left .

    Its only that mum was always in to realism , told us the reality of christmas after we got into the age of 11 then strangle did believe in the power of thoughts in prayers .

    It is nice thought that your mother believed in the magic of Christmas all her life , so pass it on to you rummy, so you can pass it on to other people .

    I always thought that when the children grow up I would do some volunteer work with the homeless people , would spend christmas in one of those homeless centers , as I use to help at the the soup kitchen at our local church when I was working full time , then mum got ill with AZ so can't do it .

    seem that is going to happen , but with dementia people , when mum get to the stage she needs care home, shall share Christmas day with them

    Yes spend the day with your mother , also sharing some of yourself with the other people they , put jungle bells on they front room have a sing long , your see they faces light up with music :), so helping yourself and them with music , as music washes away from the soul the dust of everyday life"

    wishing every one a restful, peaceful day on the 25 December xx
     
  12. Margaret W

    Margaret W Registered User

    Apr 28, 2007
    3,725
    North Derbyshire
    Dear Margharita, well half the time I find it hard to understand you, but one that I have got clear is that you are a loving person. I don't know why I should tie this to you, but I am thinking of retiring soon, and I will definitely become a visitor of the housebound, those is hospital or people in care homes.

    The contact is so much needed.

    Love,

    Margaret
     
  13. chip

    chip Registered User

    Jul 19, 2005
    400
    Scotland
    Christmas Day in Nursing Home. No response to photo's, no response to presents, no speech ether. Just wandered about, got the odd smile though. He didn't know us. Staff said it was so distressing for someone so young. There has been such a change from Christmas 2006.
     
  14. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    69,584
    Kent
    How sad chip. It must be really difficult for you.

    Take care

    Love xx
     
  15. Margarita

    Margarita Registered User

    Feb 17, 2006
    10,824
    london
    In this society the whole world seem to stop for christmas day . No buses running on Christmas day

    we are so controlled by the Church of England , Roman catholic Church .

    I Just have to much time at home to " think "



    Sometime I have to say '' I'm going Insane with to much reality "

    So much high expectation for one day , Our day went fine mum just went with the flow of it, looking like she was not sure what was going on with so many parents . Had a fall , then today ask me what day it is , then it hit me , she did not know what Boxing day is , Nor do I ! just another Government Control Bank holiday Just like Christmas day .
     
  16. Norman

    Norman Registered User

    Oct 9, 2003
    4,348
    Birmingham Hades
    Glad that we (me and two Sons )are over Christmas,Peg's birthday January 9th,next hurdle.
    Christmas day son No 2 couldn't make it,middle of a messy divorce, as a consequence didn't see the Granddaughters,very long and sad story
    Son No1 and myself lit 3 candles for Peg,one for the missing Son.
    To quote Bruce "life is a bummer"
    Norman
     
  17. christine_batch

    christine_batch Registered User

    Jul 31, 2007
    3,388
    Buckinghamshire
    Dear Norman,
    I am so sorry that you did not get to see your Grandaughters. Lighting of the candles is such a lovely one. It is something that has been done from my Grandparents time and to see my two daughters continue with the tradition, left me feel sad for those no longer with us, for those loved ones absent and proud that they in their own homes were continuing a tradition.
    I wish you all the best.
    Christine
     

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