Christmas Past

[Norrms]

Hi, must admit to sitting here, feeling sorry for myself after just coming back from town and seeing all the Christmas decorations and people with eager faces looking at all the xmas bargains. This year has been the most difficult we have ever had to deal with, not only because of the loss of my dear brother in law Malc who`s inquest date is still not set yet but its my first full year of dealing with AD and all it has entailed.
I`m sure christmas`s past were different and things were more simple then. We used to get an old cardboard box and start filling it with goodies from October onwardsin preparation for dec 25th.This year we havent. I could feel the exitement running through my veins and tears in my eyes every time i would hear Silent Night over the shop tannoy system. Elaine would turn to me and say "Are you ok?" i would always reply "Its that time of year", this year "Nothing". The only feeling running through my mind is "Whats next?
Does the thought of having AD cause this ?? Christmas in our house has always been such a huge event involving all our family and children as it has been for years. I overheard Elaine muttering "I think Christmas is cancelled this year" whilst in the kitchen. I had to go to the bathroom and broke down in tears. Sometimes things are not said but i can still see the hurt in her eyes and it breaks my heart.
Dear God how i wish i could wave a magic wand and cure everybody of this awfull illness and place peace in the hearts of all that are involved with it past and presently.
Maybe it will pass? who knows? Sorry to ramble on but just cant shake this awful feeling, best wishes, Norrms and family xxxxxxxxxxxx

 

[danny]

Norms,I have not got dementia nor does any of my family.I can not offer you support or advice,maybe I should not even be posting.What I can say is that reading your posts has given me a lot more insight in caring for people with a dementia,you are teaching me how to look behind the disease and see the people as individuals with lives,loves and pain.I wish I could wave a magic wand but I cant.I hope that you and your family manage to have a xmas of sorts.Thankyou,Angela.

 

[Izzy]

Oh Norms it must be so hard for you to cope with all of this - especially as you are so young. i wouldn't presume to advise as I am not in your position. Just wanted to say - thinking of you. Izzy x

 

[connie]

Norms, let me start by saying I love Christmas and I always have.

However some Christmases past have not given me or the family quite the pleasure maybe we have expected. (Nothing dementia related). Loss of family members plays a big part.

You mention your BIL, and this is helping to cloud your thoughts.
Maybe this year will not be quite to your normal traditions because of circumstances.

Break away, make new memories..
I am sure together you and Elaine will still come through smiling.

Thinking of you both, with admiration.

 

[shelagh]

dear dear Norms, You and Elaine seem better than most of us at living in the present. Connie is right, make some new precious memories while you can. And no how valued you are by all of us.
With love to you both
Shelagh

 

[Barry]

Hey Buck up!

Hi Norrms,

Not like you to be feeling sorry for yourself!
But I do understand how you feel at the moment with Christmas just around the corner, I know this will sound very strange but even though I am now a Muslim I can not let the time of year pass by with many a tear as my thoughts and inner feelings for Christmas have not changed, and as it draws closer I do start to get very ‘down and depressed’ as you will appreciate that then my thoughts also turn to my children in the UK and the many happy memories of being with them in their childhood, Sumi realizes juts how much it deeply affects me and ‘bless her’ she even cooks me a special traditional UK Christmas meal, so there you go, you can tell Elaine from me that “Christmas is not cancelled this year” and there is a “magic wand” it’s the one you have in your own mind of memories so get out the tinsel and start decorating!!

Yes the feeling will pass yet Christmas will still live in your heart.

Now this is the time of year when we need to have extra promised new ‘Emotions’ for the TP website with holy and Christmas trees etc!! so I will do it myself!

 

[Starshine]

Hi Norms
How sad for you, but I do know how your feeling, others are so right, make new memories do something different, hark at me preaching, this Xmas for us will be a total washout, I am with Elaine all the way when she says Xmas is cancelled, losing SIL MIL DIL in the last 18mths 2 with this awful awful disease, already losing my own family years ago. How to make the new memories? with the determination we all know you have, we all will have to work on new memories, my grown up daughter is also feeling sick and sad of Xmas, who are we to give gifts to now is her comments SAD oh YES. But my thoughts will be with you both I am sure you will find your Xmas spirit back again soon. I feel so sad for you in your pain, it must be so very hard for the suffers themselves to have the guilt of others enjoyments. Go for it Norms we know how strong you are, you are one of the ones I always read you were one of the first to contact me through my earlier posts....possibley new name??? didn't want to be recognised and hinder whatever I had to say or feel.
Good luck Norms, no-one can cancel Xmas, sure Elaine was having just an off day, she will be right alongside you making those new memories. My daughter has bought a Wii Fit (think she is intending to make merry come what may and get us off our backsides) Good luck Norms.
Starshine x

 

[carrie99]

Xmas

I know what you feel like, I'd rather not think about Xmas. I would normally be doing a lot of singing in my choir but I am having real problems trying to read the music on 1 side of the page and the words on another. I have had to resign.

We have a big family wedding coming up at Xmas too.

My dress is lovely though!

 

[Norrms]

Wonderful

And i would like to bet you look wonderful in it as well, Christmas will come and go but our loved ones will always be there, best wishes, Norrms and family xxxxxxxx

 

[Helen33]

I've only just seen this thread.

Right Norrms, no excuses, you can tell Elaine that Christmas is not cancelled because you've both been given the best present of all - the chance to experience it

Barry's santa looks like me - too fat to get down any chimney

Dear Barry, I can see that your Christmases are full of mixed emotions - memories of times with your children and the pleasure of the effort Sumi goes to in creating a traditional Christmas lunch. This year, of course, you will have all of us to contend with on Talking Point We are having a virtual retreat at Canadian Joanne's mother's care home in Canada and I hope you will at least pop in and share a carol or two with us and some tasty morsels. Joanne loves food so I am imagining a splendid feast

Dear Carrie, I am so sorry to read that you have had to resign from the choir. This must have been a very heart-rending decision. A warm invitation to you to join the Christmas virtual retreat - you can sing in Talking Point's virtual choir to your heart's content

Love and MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYBODY - whoooops - it's only November Norrms, you do get me into some scrapes

 

[carrie99]

Thanks!

..for your kindness. I am not beaten - I am going to join the choir nearby where they have many more rehearsals than the small choir that I was singing in, where every voice counts.

A case of count your blessings I guess!

Carrie

 

[carrie99]

Christmas won't go away!

We always have a quiet meal with my in-laws and close relatives,
so in a way we are lucky as there are no expectations on me and
T0ny.

 

[Norrms]

Cant help it

You nd me both Helen ""LOL LOL Just seems to follow me around !!LOL Norrms an family xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

 

[Helen33]

Hi Carrie

I am not beaten - I am going to join the choir nearby where they have many more rehearsals than the small choir that I was singing in, where every voice counts.

Oh Carrie I am so glad - lift up your voice and sing

Love