Changing moods

[March@]

My mum was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s 3 years ago but probably has had it for 5 years, she is 89.
To summarise my mum seems happy when out and surrounded by people but once at home, with me, she is confused does not know where she is, has a low mood. Her behaviours are very changeable based on if we are out or not.
Has anyone else had a similar experience?

 

[Pilgrim]

My mum was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s 3 years ago but probably has had it for 5 years, she is 89.
To summarise my mum seems happy when out and surrounded by people but once at home, with me, she is confused does not know where she is, has a low mood. Her behaviours are very changeable based on if we are out or not.
Has anyone else had a similar experience?

My husband is not noticeably demented when in company, apart from being quieter than usual. It feels lonely knowing that no one else sees the real problem close up.

 

[carolacs]

I sympathise as my husband is so charming when he's out, apart from difficulties with words no one sees how hard it is at home, that makes me feel very alone. At home he paces about touching and fiddling with everything. I have to try to keep him occupied but it means i dont get much done. Things dissappear so I have to be alert and not leave keys, pens, paperwork, anything really can get put in the most obscure places. Sometimes things are never found!!! He struggles to find his way around the house and has to be directed to the toilet or he may use the pedal bin or sink. Mood changes as well with sudden anger. I know he's frustrated because he thinks he should be at work or doing things around the house. DIY is a complete disaster so I get a decorator or handyman in now. At least that seems to be accepted now. I have a companion for him two mornings a week to give me a chance to garden or do minor repairs but really I need a rest.

 

[March@]

My husband is not noticeably demented when in company, apart from being quieter than usual. It feels lonely knowing that no one else sees the real problem close up.

Yes I totally agree.
It surprises me that after a diagnosis is given you are just left to get on with things.
There is support but essentially you are left to deal with changing demands.

 

[March@]

I sympathise as my husband is so charming when he's out, apart from difficulties with words no one sees how hard it is at home, that makes me feel very alone. At home he paces about touching and fiddling with everything. I have to try to keep him occupied but it means i dont get much done. Things dissappear so I have to be alert and not leave keys, pens, paperwork, anything really can get put in the most obscure places. Sometimes things are never found!!! He struggles to find his way around the house and has to be directed to the toilet or he may use the pedal bin or sink. Mood changes as well with sudden anger. I know he's frustrated because he thinks he should be at work or doing things around the house. DIY is a complete disaster so I get a decorator or handyman in now. At least that seems to be accepted now. I have a companion for him two mornings a week to give me a chance to garden or do minor repairs but really I need a rest.

I really hope you get a well earned rest soon. I find it difficult to negotiate the changes which each day brings. Some days are better than others.
You are not alone. I now have a day to go out and do something that I want to do as have a carer in for the day.
All the best.

 

[DaftDad]

My mum was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s 3 years ago but probably has had it for 5 years, she is 89.
To summarise my mum seems happy when out and surrounded by people but once at home, with me, she is confused does not know where she is, has a low mood. Her behaviours are very changeable based on if we are out or not.
Has anyone else had a similar experience?

Yes. My Dad seems to be able to put on a decent show outside of home and beyond the family, but come 5pm onwards, he's baffled what's going on, where he is and sounds like a frightened little boy. I have no idea how to manage it all, we just bumble along.

 

[March@]

Sorry to hear this. I understand when you say ‘bumble’ along. I received an appointment for the memory clinic today for August 2025!