Feeling very frustrated and exhausted by the process of trying to get my Mum some sort of diagnosis and not sure where to go from here. I have noticed subtle changes in my Mum for the last 5 years, things that we originally laughed off like her forgetting minor things but I just put it down to her having a lot on her mind and didn't think much of it. Since then, she sadly lost her partner 2 years ago and also the house that they shared and we started living together again last year which is when I noticed a significant decline in her memory, her ability to hold a conversation, and her driving capabilities. I noticed she really struggled with dates, times, getting simple sentences out, and her driving was getting dangerous and worrying so I started to approach her with my concerns and was met with denial (ending in a lot of arguments). My brother noticed too and I had a few friends / family members make comments about her being very different / not herself. She kept blaming her grief which, although I knew probably contributed to her decline, I did not believe was the full story.
It finally came to a head in October last year when I got a call from her work asking me to pick her up as they were concerned for her and no longer thought she had the capacity to safely carry out her role. They were really good about it but they basically said they noticed a number of instances where my Mum had struggled to remember key things, was struggling with the technology, holding conversations, and just didn't seem herself at all. She went on sick leave and promised to see her GP. I attended the appointment with her and the GP ran through some memory tests (which she failed, each time), asked some questions of me about what promoted the appointment (I gave some examples), and the conclusion was that she should no longer drive and to try her on some anti-depressants until a brain scan could be arranged.
The long and short of it is that radiology rejected the brain scan referral as they believed she should see the memory clinic instead, and then the memory clinic rejected that referral because my Mum has a history of drinking alcohol and they want her to be 2 years sober before they will see her (she has been sober nearly a year now). We have since been back and forth with the GP and because the memory clinic rejected that referral radiology agreed to take up the original referral and she had a brain scan last week which showed nothing (no stroke, brain tumour, etc.). The memory clinic is still refusing to assess my Mum despite the GP saying she thinks she "probably has some form of dementia" and the only way to push the referral is if she develops any further symptoms. The GP advised that she still shouldn't drive or return to work, but how am I going to communicate that to my Mum when technically there is nothing wrong with her??
I'm just at a loss of what to do next, she can barely use her phone, operate the TV, she still can't drive, is in no condition to go back to work, she doesn't know what day/month/time it is at any given point, and yet we have no official diagnosis to explain to her work why she can't return. I'm only 28 and I work full-time and I no longer live with my Mum so I'm really struggling to deal with everything, she is very needy and requires a lot of help with simple tasks and she keeps asking us what's going to happen and I have no answers for her. I know 100% that something is not right with my Mum, I have been extremely close with her my entire life and I barely recognise her anymore and it's like I've lost her already. My Grandma had dementia and I'm seeing so many similarities.
Is there anything I can do to get her assessed despite the referral rejection? I'm even thinking of writing a letter of complaint about it, as I think it's hugely unfair that they won't assess her and want us to wait until next July to be seen. She will soon run out of sick pay and will likely lose her job as she definitely cannot return in the state she's in, but will have no support for this as she has no official diagnosis. My brother and I are dealing with this on our own so any advice would be really appreciated, thank you.
It finally came to a head in October last year when I got a call from her work asking me to pick her up as they were concerned for her and no longer thought she had the capacity to safely carry out her role. They were really good about it but they basically said they noticed a number of instances where my Mum had struggled to remember key things, was struggling with the technology, holding conversations, and just didn't seem herself at all. She went on sick leave and promised to see her GP. I attended the appointment with her and the GP ran through some memory tests (which she failed, each time), asked some questions of me about what promoted the appointment (I gave some examples), and the conclusion was that she should no longer drive and to try her on some anti-depressants until a brain scan could be arranged.
The long and short of it is that radiology rejected the brain scan referral as they believed she should see the memory clinic instead, and then the memory clinic rejected that referral because my Mum has a history of drinking alcohol and they want her to be 2 years sober before they will see her (she has been sober nearly a year now). We have since been back and forth with the GP and because the memory clinic rejected that referral radiology agreed to take up the original referral and she had a brain scan last week which showed nothing (no stroke, brain tumour, etc.). The memory clinic is still refusing to assess my Mum despite the GP saying she thinks she "probably has some form of dementia" and the only way to push the referral is if she develops any further symptoms. The GP advised that she still shouldn't drive or return to work, but how am I going to communicate that to my Mum when technically there is nothing wrong with her??
I'm just at a loss of what to do next, she can barely use her phone, operate the TV, she still can't drive, is in no condition to go back to work, she doesn't know what day/month/time it is at any given point, and yet we have no official diagnosis to explain to her work why she can't return. I'm only 28 and I work full-time and I no longer live with my Mum so I'm really struggling to deal with everything, she is very needy and requires a lot of help with simple tasks and she keeps asking us what's going to happen and I have no answers for her. I know 100% that something is not right with my Mum, I have been extremely close with her my entire life and I barely recognise her anymore and it's like I've lost her already. My Grandma had dementia and I'm seeing so many similarities.
Is there anything I can do to get her assessed despite the referral rejection? I'm even thinking of writing a letter of complaint about it, as I think it's hugely unfair that they won't assess her and want us to wait until next July to be seen. She will soon run out of sick pay and will likely lose her job as she definitely cannot return in the state she's in, but will have no support for this as she has no official diagnosis. My brother and I are dealing with this on our own so any advice would be really appreciated, thank you.
