I was looking back at my diary the other day and upon reading my remarks about Margaret’s condition then, I have arrived at the conclusion that I am much better off today than I was then.
Today she can hardly walk and then only with assistance, she cannot talk sensibly, is doubly incontinent, has to be fed, bathed, toileted, changed, dressed and undressed and to move any distance requires the use of a wheel chair. These things however are only physical and as long as I remain reasonably fit are comparatively easy to cope with.
A few years ago it was a different story, she wandered, frequently getting lost, was argumentative, leading to violent outbursts and physical violence. She would accuse me of adultery, lying, stealing her money and anything else that she could think of. She was even then doubly incontinent but refused to wear pads so we had frequent accidents requiring changes of clothing and sometimes cleaning of carpets, chairs or beds etc. this would happen sometimes two or three times a day. Although she needed assistance with her clothing she would refuse it and I had to fight to get her either dressed or undressed. She would refuse to eat whatever I had prepared for the meal, sometimes for an entire day, and when she did eat she again refused assistance, spilling food on the table and down her clothing.
This type of behaviour was not confined to home but would occur wherever we were if the mood so took her.
The point I am making is that all change is not necessarily for the worse and although looking after Margaret may be physically harder, mentally and emotionally it is much easier. It also surprised me that I hadn’t realized how much easier life was until I looked back in my diary.
So nil desperandum!
Cheers Barraf
Today she can hardly walk and then only with assistance, she cannot talk sensibly, is doubly incontinent, has to be fed, bathed, toileted, changed, dressed and undressed and to move any distance requires the use of a wheel chair. These things however are only physical and as long as I remain reasonably fit are comparatively easy to cope with.
A few years ago it was a different story, she wandered, frequently getting lost, was argumentative, leading to violent outbursts and physical violence. She would accuse me of adultery, lying, stealing her money and anything else that she could think of. She was even then doubly incontinent but refused to wear pads so we had frequent accidents requiring changes of clothing and sometimes cleaning of carpets, chairs or beds etc. this would happen sometimes two or three times a day. Although she needed assistance with her clothing she would refuse it and I had to fight to get her either dressed or undressed. She would refuse to eat whatever I had prepared for the meal, sometimes for an entire day, and when she did eat she again refused assistance, spilling food on the table and down her clothing.
This type of behaviour was not confined to home but would occur wherever we were if the mood so took her.
The point I am making is that all change is not necessarily for the worse and although looking after Margaret may be physically harder, mentally and emotionally it is much easier. It also surprised me that I hadn’t realized how much easier life was until I looked back in my diary.
So nil desperandum!
Cheers Barraf