Casbow's Diary.
- Thread starter Casbow
- Start date
Thank you. I had a good visit today. He was quite happy. Once again the visit proved he doesn't know who I am. But as painful as that is for me I am comforted by the fact that anyone who is kind to him and helps him, in his head is his friend. I have to believe that or I will never sleep again. He still eats and drinks well. But that is about all that is left. My love. I am heartbroken. Just want him to acknowledge me. Feel so sad. Sorry should not go on like this. Others are still struggling to cope. I hope you all have a good nights sleep.xxxx
I am so worried. Yesterday went to visit him and it was the day of the fete. I was looking forward to taking him out of the ward he was in, to the other ward that it joins, and the staff work in shifts between the two so that they all know everyone that needs to be cared for. Anyway when the time came we started to move down to the 'other end'. There are locked doors between the two. David was difficult and didn't want to go. but between me and staff we managed to talk him into coming with us. As soon as we went into the large lounge he shouted very loudly telling everyone to shut up. And for the whole of an hours entertainment he was difficult and hurting my hand and basically didn't want to be there. To make it even more upsetting the residents of the ward were seriously ill and in special chairs and beds and unable to do anything for themselves. I was very upset because of David being so angry and i was so hoping for a little bit of special time. The singer was very good and the whole thing was well done but as soon as the singing was finished and the raffle drawn staff came over and said that we could have the food back in the other unit. They took us back and bought food and then the other patients came in for their food and I stayed until 6.00 and then left. I left wondering if David had a urine infection as his mood was so bad. Fast forward to today. I went to a friends house for lunch and a chat and didn't get back until 4.30. There were 2 messages on the answer phone from the care home. I rang back immediately. The messages were sent 10 minutes after I left home at 12.15. The nurse I spoke to said that she rang because they have to tell me what happens that is not 'Normal'. David was heard arguing with a female resident and was seen pushing her. She fell on the back of her head causing an injury and was taken to A&E. The doctor was called to David and it was suspected urine infection. The test said no infection. Don't know how they test it as he will not wee on demand and there is only his incontinence pad to test. So after saying sorry several times I was told that the doctor had left medication for David which would calm him down. I asked if they wanted me to visit and they said no it was ok. I will be going tomorrow anyway. The Dementia unit has been informed and will visit next week. They don't know when. So I am going to ring again in a moment to ask some questions. But I fear he will be moved. To I don't know where. My dear husband, always kind and gentle.x
They said that the lady was being kept in hospital. She has a bleed on the brain and stitches in the wound. David has been given Clozapine or a name like that. Looked it up and the side effects are bad. will visit tomorrow to see what else they know. Also Tuesday 10.00 a.m. to meet person from Dementia Unit.I am sick with worry.x
Oh, Casbow. I'm so sorry, for you and for your poor husband, and the other resident. What a dreadful time. I'm sure you are very worried. I suppose it is one of those things that happen with this awful illness sometimes. David would not have any understanding of the possible consequences of pushing someone.
I am devastated. I don't think he will be allowed to stay there. The whole place is for nursing care and dementia, Huntingdons and Parkinsons . They may not want to risk keeping him. And if they do the way they see him will have changed. It has been difficult enough to get this far. I found out only this last week, that female staff were frightened of him at first and they had to use male staff 2, plus 1 female ,to get his personal care sorted. So worried about the lady who he hurt. I had got to know them all on the small ward of 10 beds Of which 4 were empty anyway. So I don't know which lady. They won't tell me. Please let her be ok.x
Casbow, I'm sorry to read what happened.
How can this illness change a man who was kind and gentle?
It is so sad.
How can this illness change a man who was kind and gentle?
It is so sad.
What a terrible worry for you Casbow.
I don`t know who to feel more sorry for, your husband or the person he has injured.
When my husband became overly aggressive I asked for him to be medicated saying I preferred over sedation for him then fear about his aggression. This was when he was at home with me and I had a safe room in the house.
I was warned the medication would affect his mobility, which it did and he ended up in residential care. I had to decided in consultation with the doctors what was the lesser of two evils.
I feared he was living in torment and sedation was the only way to give him peace.
Fortunately , relatively speaking, this all lasted a short time and the last four years of his life were peaceful and contented even though his mobility had gone.
I hope something can be found to help your husband Casbow. You don`t want people to be frightened of him and if possible you would prefer him to stay where he is. Perhaps you could ask about medication.
I don`t know who to feel more sorry for, your husband or the person he has injured.
When my husband became overly aggressive I asked for him to be medicated saying I preferred over sedation for him then fear about his aggression. This was when he was at home with me and I had a safe room in the house.
I was warned the medication would affect his mobility, which it did and he ended up in residential care. I had to decided in consultation with the doctors what was the lesser of two evils.
I feared he was living in torment and sedation was the only way to give him peace.
Fortunately , relatively speaking, this all lasted a short time and the last four years of his life were peaceful and contented even though his mobility had gone.
I hope something can be found to help your husband Casbow. You don`t want people to be frightened of him and if possible you would prefer him to stay where he is. Perhaps you could ask about medication.
Yes I agree with you. I just want him to feel peaceful. If that means drugs then so be it. I hate to see him so angry. He is a placid, kind, peaceful man. this is not the real man I married. I hate this dementia and what it does to people.xx
Poor Casbow, I have just read your latest postings and feel so sorry for you, this is a really cruel disease. I can't imagine how you are coping witnessing such a change in your dear husbands behaviour. I do hope they can find suitable medication which calms him down without awful side effects. He cannot be to blame for the injury caused to the lady concerned. Hopefully things will be better in a few days.
In the meantime try not to get yourself too wound up, easier said than done I know. We are all routing for you. God bless you.
In the meantime try not to get yourself too wound up, easier said than done I know. We are all routing for you. God bless you.
I have been awake since 4.00. Given up trying to go back to sleep. On my second mug of tea. Cannot quite come to terms with what has happened. Sick with worry about the lady that is injured. Can't even begin to think what will happen next. Now I have to wait until about 11.30 before i can go to the home. David has been better at getting up in the morning but still not until about 10.30. So I don't see the point in going any earlier. I will only be in the way.x
(((((Casbow)))))))
I'm awake too & just read your post so so sorry this has happened - what a nightmare for you.
How hard it is to sleep when something like this happens. It was not your fault nor was it your husbands..this awful illness
Sending you a big hug.
I'm awake too & just read your post so so sorry this has happened - what a nightmare for you.
How hard it is to sleep when something like this happens. It was not your fault nor was it your husbands..this awful illness
Sending you a big hug.
