Thanks for your reply, Chizz.
We’re entirely self-funding. I can’t unfortunately say I share your positive experience with carers. Father was taken into hospital for a month last Christmas. We had the re-ablement package as a condition of his discharge with 4 care visits per day. No inquiry was ever made by the hospital and social services into what care the family had been providing for my father before his hospital stay, and throughout his hospital stay in fact.. Apparently the family’s care contribution was immaterial.
This 4x a day care package lasted less than 24hrs; carers came at teatime on day one, then didn’t come till after teatime the following day. No explanation why was ever forthcoming. That was just their version of 4 visits a day, apparently.
I asked the care company to cease their services (for this and worse reasons I won’t go into here) and social worker agreed to get another care company on board.
That took four months to put in place. We currently get one care visit a day of twenty minutes for my father and no outside care at all for my mother. We tried having more visits, with me taking a back seat, but the carers weren’t cleaning my father adequately and his skin was on the verge of developing pressure sores, air mattress notwithstanding. His skin is now A1 according to the district nurses.
I am currently involved in approx 95% of the pad changes, clean-ups, feedings, waterings, teethbrushing, nail cutting etc. on both parents. Other non-resident family and the once a day carer do the rest between them.
Father has had a four times a day bowel habit for over nine months, all of which is done in the pads and has to be carted upstairs to the toilet. Double bins outside get over a hundred pads a fortnight going in them. Mother is completely incontinent as well, but we can at least get her on the commode by lifting her on to it, though we don’t always get a worthwhile result.
Visiting district nurses, social worker, community alarm people, GP, OTs and physios have all said independently, without any prompting from me, that they have never seen a couple so disabled by dementia still living in their own home and cared for almost exclusively by their family.
Can’t tell you what I’ve been through, all told. Mother has had Alzheimers for over twenty years. She completely lost knowing who I was around 12 years ago.
I currently feel pretty strong when it comes to the caring, even though I have almost zero free time, but would love to be in Canary’s position of having a charity come and do housework for me. I can do the caring, but doing the bulk of the housework (how about 12 full loads of washing per week?) on top is the straw that threatens to break this particular camel’s back.
Now 2.a.m. Don’t usually get to bed before 3, so I’m ahead of schedule tonight!
All the best!