Hi everyone, I am new here to DTP so please forgive my lack of forum etiquette here. My mother in law has A typical Alzheimer’s diagnosed around 3 and a half years ago. My father in law was here carer however he has sadly passed away unexpectedly which has meant that my family (3 children the youngest of which is a baby/toddler of only 20 months) have had to move in with mother in law in order to continue her care. With this all being unexpected we are trying our best to see a way forward whilst still looking after our children and also caring for mother in law which is a 24hr thing. Firstly: mother in law owns her own home outright (mortgage paid) and is a bungalow which is why we have moved in with her as it’s much safer a less disruptive than moving her in to our house which was up a steep hill and had lots of stairs. However this is still far from ideal as we now have 6 people living in a small 3 bed bungalow of which mother in law has the largest room with en suite (which we think she should keep) but it’s very cramped for us all. We have LPA and making a decision about how we manage things going forward is proving very difficult as it’s hard to know what will be best for everyone including my children. The only thing that is obvious is that we can’t care for mother in law and the children in the bungalow long term as it’s just too disruptive for mother in law to be listening to toddler tantrums and my older ones playing making noise usual kid stuff etc, the children are struggling also. The way I see it we have 2 options: Move house to somewhere bigger (we’ve seen one with an annex) which would give mother in law the quiet calm she needs and also the kids the space to play and make noise and just be kids. This would be ideal but have been advised that since the sale of bungalow would finance this house, the asset must be solely in mother in laws name (this is fine by us) however is a big move for all involved and particularly mother in law who has lived in the same place for over 35 years. She is stage 6 (I’m pretty sure) and I am aware this stage and stage 7 can last many years mother in law is 72 just turned and is still physically well and can beat me to the front door should the bell go. I am worried about how she would adjust to this new place and I am worried about putting a large chunk of her monetary asset into this house. We are also worrying what happens if in 6 months or 2 years after making this huge change/move she requires care beyond our capabilities, she/we would be required to sell the house to fund the care home fees. Whilst I’m aware that a care home would defer fees until the sale of house I’m concerned as to whether doing this would be best, as it is conceivably a lot of change and disruption for both the children and mother in law. Is it kinder to try and care for her in the manner by purchasing this house? Or is it kinder to just consider settling her into a care home where she would be able to stay and not have to move from? The second issue (I’m sorry I know this is getting long) is that we are self employed running our own business which we have found is impossible to run and keep profitable as so much time is spent on just caring for mother in law and keeping her safe. Mother in law is not in receipt of any benefit and just has her pension. I assumed there would be some kind of carer allowance that could be claimed to allow us some recompense for being unable to work/earn, but everything I’ve read says not as she doesn’t receive anything other than her pensions so no DLA or PIP. This would mean using her money to fund ourselves caring for her (but caring also for 3 children - not cheap!) I am not comfortable doing this (I don’t think it’s fair to mother in law) as it is not our money it’s mother in laws, but I’m not sure how we keep ourselves financially independent. If anyone has any experience of this or could offer some advice I would very much appreciate it. I just want to try and do what is best for everyone, especially mother in law. Thanks so much for reading this, apologies for the length.