Hello I'll try not to ramble on too much, but I have provided a bit of background to my questions - though, any reader here has probably heard it all before! My 86 yr old mother has been diagnosed with A.D for 3-years now. I moved back home to look after her - I'm on my own with this! With the help(?) of SS, we tried to get her to try two Day Centres, but she rejected both - institutional atmosphere? And, anyway, the staff there say, 'they cannot force someone to stay against their will.' So, the only real break I get is when 'Crossroads' send a visitor for 4-hrs once-a-week. The SS have set-up an account for me to pay a carer, but I have to find someone myself (for the 10-hrs care that the council would pay for). I'm not sure I'm going to have much luck with this! I've looked in the Situations Wanted pages of 'The Lady,' magazine, but carers I've contacted mainly want 'live in' posts - I'm reluctant to have someone lodging here - but, no choice? Should I perservere with ads in the magazine, and place my own? I'm trying to delay putting my mother in a Home for as long as I can, mainly because they are £35,000+ p.a: the house would have to be sold and I'd soon be cleaned-out! And, of course, there's Inheritance Tax to look forward to...Thank you Brown, you s.o.b! I think she's deteriorating now; and the effects of Aricept seem to be wearing-off - it'll probably be stopped by the doctor soon. I'm not sure how much longer I'll be able to just leave her (for a while) when I go shopping, etc. A few years back, a neighbour's husband had A.D. and she tells me she just, 'pushed him out the door' when the coach arrived to take him to the Day Centre. Should I just try this, as she may soon be unaware of what's going on, anyway? I'd much appreciate any views - perhaps based on experience, on this kind of situation. Thank you.