My mum has recently been diagnosed with a mix of dementia/alzheimers. We have a care plan 4x a week for 1/2 hour personal care visits. The problem is the carers are asking mum if she’d like a shower and every time she responds with ‘no thank you, I had one last night’. We all know she’s not had one in weeks. Problem is they’re asking and said if she refuses they can’t make her however my argument is that if they give her a choice she will refuse but if they rephrase the question in a way I used to with my kids - I’d ask would you like your carrots chopped or grated? They’d feel like they had a choice when if I’d have said would you like carrots they’d have said no thank you! I’m concerned that they’re just not experienced with how to speak to dementia patients. She’s in an assisted living flat and I wanted to keep the care in house as they know my mum and I don’t want to rock the boat by saying they’re not delivering the care appropriately. Any suggestions on how to manage this? I’ve spoken to the head of care a number of times but they’re still asking in the same way