Toiletting issues

[ijenisch]

Hi everyone.

I just want to introduce myself. I'm Ida, a new member. I didn't realize that this Alzheimer support group in UK. I'm in the US, but I think my question is universal. My husband is currently at Geropsychiatry unit, due to his violent behavior. I recently visited him, and noticed that he is getting calmer, which is great, he is talking more, which is also great, he didn't seem to have urinary and fecal incontinence as much. But what surprised me was that he seemed more confused about where the bathroom was. He stood at the corner of geropsych living room and went pee. Then He pulled down his pull up and had bowel movement on the chair. It was extremely difficult for me to see. Just a month ago he was able to feed himself, now, it seemed to me he still has physical ability to do so, but they need to spoon feed him, because they said that he would rather walk around than feeding himself. The psychiatrist said that my husband is mentally nearing the end of his moderate stage, and slowly will enter the advance stage. I know Alzheimer's stage is vary for each person, but did you see this kind of confusion before your loved one entering their final stage? I can't, may be also refuse to belief, that he will enter final stage mentally, this fast.

 

[Izzy]

Welcome to the forum @ijenisch. This forum may be based in the UK but we have members from all over the world. As you say dementia issues are universal.

I’m sorry to hear about your husband. It must be really heartbreaking for you. I think that stages of dementia are not cut and dried. I used to feel that my husband’s dementia reflected aspects of more than one stage.

You might find this link of interest -

The progression, signs and stages of dementia

Dementia is progressive. This means signs and symptoms may be relatively mild at first but they get worse with time. Dementia affects everyone differently, however it can be helpful to think of dementia progressing in 'three stages'.

www.alzheimers.org.uk

 

[Tabitha2]

It is upsetting to witness this sort of change in behaviour. As Izzy says, stages, as such, vary hugely depending on the type of dementia and everyone with dementia is different. Shortly after his first discharge from hospital my partner got out of bed, sat on the blanket chest at the bottom of the bed and peed on the floor. I naturally thought this was the start of incontinence issues, but he never did it again. Incontinence can be that the brain is no longer receiving messages properly and the person will just pee and poo where they are and not really be aware of it, or they can sort of know they need to go - your husband went to a corner to pee (sort of appropriate behaviour but just not quite right), and poo'd on his chair (sitting down, as he would on the loo, sort of appropriate, just not quite right again).

Not everyone with dementia becomes incontinent, and obviously many older people with no dementia have continence issues. My father has had dementia for 10-15 years and is still continent, he wears pull up padded pants because his mobility issues mean he cannot always get to the toilet in time, so there are occasional accidents. My mother has had continence issues for many years, due to weakness of the bladder (and now bowel) muscles, but knows when she needs to go/is going - just can't stop it.

It is, I think, a particularly difficult problem to deal with. I have not noticed stages, as such, with my partner and parents, just that you suddenly notice they can no longer do things they used to, like use the phone, make a cup of tea, etc. Sometimes these abilities come and go for a while.

Not helpful, I know. Unpredictability is the hardest thing to deal with I think. If we know what to expect we think we will be better able to deal with it, practically and emotionally. But moving ahead not knowing where the road leads to is worrying and frightening.