Hi. My 80 year old Mum has Vascular Dementia. We have reached the very difficult stage of moving Mum into a care home because her carer and I can't manage anymore. I have to say thank you to this Forum for helping considerably in making this decision - reading other posts - the fors and againsts - has helped greatly in what is the most difficult decision I have ever had to make. The care home we have found is lovely (I have visited many) but obviously I am very concerned that the change in surroundings will be extremely strange to Mum and will probably be very distressing to her.
I would like some advice - we haven't told Mum she is moving into a home - she just wouldn't comprehend. She thinks she is fine and doesn't need any support at all! I have been advised to tell her that we are going on a short holiday to a nice hotel. We are arranging for some of her furniture and a few prize possessions, photos etc to be in the room when she arrives. However, I have recently read that if you are pretending to go to a hotel, the room should look like a hotel otherwise it will cause great confusion. I know that some days Mum wouldn't twig that her possessions are in this new, strange place, but other days she is more lucid and may very well become confused. Do other forum members have experience they can share with the big "move" day and how we should play it? The other conflicting advice I've had is that I should leave Mum once she's settled into her new room on the first day and stay away for 3 - 4 days - others say you should stay, albeit in the background, for the first few days - the thought of Mum waking up the next morning to complete strangers and in new surroundings terrifies me. Again, I would welcome any advice Forum members can give. Many thanks.
I would like some advice - we haven't told Mum she is moving into a home - she just wouldn't comprehend. She thinks she is fine and doesn't need any support at all! I have been advised to tell her that we are going on a short holiday to a nice hotel. We are arranging for some of her furniture and a few prize possessions, photos etc to be in the room when she arrives. However, I have recently read that if you are pretending to go to a hotel, the room should look like a hotel otherwise it will cause great confusion. I know that some days Mum wouldn't twig that her possessions are in this new, strange place, but other days she is more lucid and may very well become confused. Do other forum members have experience they can share with the big "move" day and how we should play it? The other conflicting advice I've had is that I should leave Mum once she's settled into her new room on the first day and stay away for 3 - 4 days - others say you should stay, albeit in the background, for the first few days - the thought of Mum waking up the next morning to complete strangers and in new surroundings terrifies me. Again, I would welcome any advice Forum members can give. Many thanks.