Care home have complete control?

[MIKESEYE]

The manager of my wifes care home has said my wife cannot be moved is that. Legal
It's in swanage I and my fam live in poole my wife has been in hm
Since last June 2024 and I have no complaints about home But I am 85yoa with little time left 3 x week if she was moved to the local home my wife would see more of her fam married for 65years 4 child 10 great gan child 4 great great child
With my nearest children they areworking thus it is very hard for them to visit and they have agreed that my wife should stay in home but only after speaking with the manager
Thank you for any advice

 

[nitram]

Does anybody have H&W LPA?

 

[Kevinl]

Hello and welcome, for someone to be detained against their wishes there has to be some due legal process for this to happen.
In the past more commonly sections 2 and 3 mainly of the Mental Health Act more commonly called sectioning or being sectioned.
Section 2 could only be used for 28 days then either the option of escalating to Section 3 or let them go home if they wished. The problem is that Section 3 care entitled the person to Section 117 funding, free NHS funded whether in hospital or a care home.
More recently something call a Deprivation of Liberty Safeguarding Order was introduced, the right to detain but not the mandatory obligation from Section 2 to 3 hence triggering free care.
We live in a free and before someone can be held against their wishes be it the police arrest you or for mental health reasons sectioning or a DoLS order has to be made legally.
Strange to me that they're not explaining it better to you, but subject to any of the above being fully legally in place, they are in the right. Hope that helps. K

 

[nitram]

Hello and welcome, for someone to be detained against their wishes there has to be some due legal process for this to happen.

Looks as if manager maybe siding with children.
Hence my query about H&W LPA

With my nearest children they areworking thus it is very hard for them to visit and they have agreed that my wife should stay in home but only after speaking with the manager

 

[northumbrian_k]

Hi @MIKESEYE I can't answer the legal ins and outs of your situation but there are some practical considerations. I know that your wife being in her current home may be more difficult for you due to distance. But against this is the fact that she seems settled and well-looked after where she is. You would also need to consider whether a different home could provide everything she needs. Most importantly, moving her now would almost certainly cause disruption and confusion for her, certainly in the short term, with no guarantee that she would settle in.

 

[Collywobbles]

I can’t comment on legalities, but the care home will only be looking at the wellbeing of your wife. From what you’ve said, she seems settled, happy, safe and well cared for where she is. Unless she has expressed some kind of distress at not seeing her family often enough, that won’t be a consideration. The sad fact is that family members’ wellbeing - including lengthy travel to visit - won’t be a factor in the decision.

The case you need to make, is that a move would be of benefit to your wife. Shift the focus away from convenience for the family - especially as you’ve said in another post that you have a daughter who lives near your wife’s care home, and all of your children agree that their Mum should stay where she is.

 

[Banjomansmate]

Hello @MIKESEYE , You have asked about this before but I don’t think you have said who is paying for your wife’s residential care? If it is the Local Authority then there are only certain homes that accept LA funding, which is lower than private residents pay. The home closer to you may not be prepared to accept this lower figure.
If the cost of your wife’s care is coming solely from her own finances then that is a different matter. Are you sure the Care Home closer to you is the right one for her condition, have you spoken to them or are you just wanting her there because it is closer to you and to save you the journey?
You say she is forgetting you because you don’t see her every day but dementia is a progressive disease and this could happen anyway.
I live inbetween Swanage & Poole so I understand that it isn’t the best of journeys!

 

[MIKESEYE]

My reply Thank you but nobody seems to apprishate that.its not about me and the journey it's for my wifes future if she stays in swanage for the next 5yeas I will be.dead and.its not possible for her.children to see her.and I agree with my children that this care home is.perfect for her but if she moved to local to all of us they can't have.any reason not to visit
You have.not answered my question on legal CAN THE HOME OVERRIDE HET HUSBAND OF65Y
THANK YOU

 

[Banjomansmate]

Sorry Mike but if they can’t visit now there is every chance they won’t visit any more often even if their Mum lived next door, no matter what they say now.
You have already said that they have agreed with the Care Home manager that it is the best place for your wife.
And it still comes back to who is currently paying for your wife’s residential care.

 

[Collywobbles]

I think we can’t give you an answer on whether the care home can legally override your wishes, as we don’t know on what basis she was taken to the care home to begin with. Has a Deprivation of Liberty been signed? Do you or any other family member have a Lasting Power of Attorney for your wife? Was any mental health legislation given as the reason? Is she self-funding?

You may need to ask the care home manager for these details if you weren’t informed to begin with. You did say in another thread that your wife was taken into care as you were experiencing difficulties, so it’s understandable that you may not have been in a position to take that information in at the time.

 

[nita]

Hello @MIKESEYE , who is paying for your wife’s residential care? If it is the Local Authority then there are only certain homes that accept LA funding, which is lower than private residents pay. The home closer to you may not be prepared to accept this lower figure.

This is the important point, @MIKESEYE - if your wife is being funded by the Local Authority and they have placed her at this home in Swanage, then perhaps that is the nearest suitable home for her. You can ask them if there is another nearer to you in Poole but I imagine they will already have considered that.

 

[Bod]

My reply Thank you but nobody seems to apprishate that.its not about me and the journey it's for my wifes future if she stays in swanage for the next 5yeas I will be.dead and.its not possible for her.children to see her.and I agree with my children that this care home is.perfect for her but if she moved to local to all of us they can't have.any reason not to visit
You have.not answered my question on legal CAN THE HOME OVERRIDE HET HUSBAND OF65Y
THANK YOU

In certian circumstances, there are reasons why a person is in a particular Home, and cannot be moved.
Until at least some of the previous questions have been answered, there is little advice that can be given.
Who has Lasting Power of Attorney, and does it cover Health & welfare?
Who is paying for the current Home?
Why was she placed in this establishment?
Is there a different Home that can accept her?
We as a forum, do understand your wishes, indeed some will have been in very similar positions.

Bod.

 

[SAP]

@MIKESEYE obviously we need a lot more info to give you an exact answer but in short, a manger of a care home in partnership with social services can override a family’s wishes if it is in the residents best interests.
It may actually be a bad idea to move your wife as this may cause her a lot of distress and hasten the progress of the dementia.
There are no guarantees that your children will visit no matter where she is.
If you have LPA for health and welfare and finance that could make a difference , if your wife is self funding that may also make a difference but with out this information no one on here can offer advice fully. We all want to make sure you get the best information possible so we need the full picture.

 

[northumbrian_k]

Hi again @MIKESEYE I am sorry if you don't think that your question has been answered but there are good reasons for that as others have said.

I would encourage you to look at the practical issues that have been raised. There may be a strong case for your wife staying where she is if that is considered to be in her best interests. It may be hard to accept, but as dementia progresses the importance of visits from family members becomes significantly less. In accepting the need for care home admission one needs to acknowledge that the person's dependency will change. They will no longer look to partners or family members to provide support and help. Visiting is desirable for all sorts of reasons, but maintaining family ties is less important to the person with dementia than it is to their visitors.

This is based on my experience of visiting my wife over the last 5 years, including a long period during the pandemic when I couldn't visit at all. That was hard for me but hardly seemed to bother my wife.