Care Home Failed Mum


Registered User
Oct 15, 2023
Hi everyone. Well done Sue31 for standing your ground. So sad to hear that the manager was floundering and information was fictional. Your mum is truly lucky having you fight for her. I agree, a social worker who does not know your mum, should only be representing her with you next to her. My mums social worker made huge mistakes which destroyed mum, as changes were never made, and concerns were not seen. Bad practice was ignored.
I do agree, its happening too often. Since mum died there have been three other negative reviews about the care home. One star. !!!! All similar to my experiences. One was from a frantic member of staff who was being bullied by the management. Sadly good staff leave as they have no avenue to get heard. This should not happen. There needs to be an independent body that meets with concerned staff. Managers want to hide problems. So people, good staff leave. This makes it worse and worse.
I saw managers and bad staff put on wonderful images as soon as they thought questions were being asked. But it was short lived. As soon as relevant people went away, bad practice continued. Assessors Need to be far more vigilant. More trained.
My worry is that vulnerable residents have no voice . Some cant get the words out to say concerns. Some close into themselves. Some get sedated. Which is not allowed. This was a concern of numerous people who made reviews related to mums care home. Sedation and ignoring residents. Plus keeping them sat all day. No stimulation. Etc. lots.
Social services dismissed concerns. Which is a worry.
I Was eventually put intouch with 'patients association' via my nursing friend. They have zoom calls and meetings to discuss failings in care homes/hospitals. And try to push for change.
i was also told about Hourglass who are campaigning about elderly abuse. I would encourage everyone to visit their websites .
Also Healthwatch have a feedback page where you can write a review of a particular care home/hospital. So its worth putting comments down. Emailing them with any concerns.
YOu can contact each Service via phone as well.
THey can give good advice and share your concerns with others.
i do agree with rayreadynow, that care homes are going under the radar. Yet private family homes are often judged unfairly. Especially when families are under huge stress. Social workers are at the frontline of being able to make changes in the care system, but I feel there is a bias towards other professionals. Its easy to challenge a family member, yet much harder to challenge a work colleague/other professional. Thats a culture that the Patients Association said needs changing fast. Still too much hierarchy. There is a drive for more patient/ family voice.
I cope better with mums death by being pro active. I dont want other people being hurt. Sadly they are. But the more good staff are heard and supported, and the more family members are given equal voices, the better it will be.
keep standing up for what is right.
There are people out there doing the same.
i go to mums grave and fill it with flowers. I chat to her all the time. I dont care whether she hears me or not, it gives me peace and that is what matters.
i attend counselling through cancer research. They do trauma counselling for people like me, and have been great. I also go to relaxation classes.
BUt the most important thing for me is trying to stop it happening to anyone else.
social care are failing us at the moment. They used a model of probability !!!?. Yet Abuse is hidden. The probability model assesses how many people saw the problems, compared to those who didnt. !!!! Using that model does not work for abuse cases as most people are blinded by the cover ups. Its the area I am shouting out about at the moment. Neglect is hidden. Data sheets can be falsified. Managers show a caring side. People are easily fooled. But thats no excuse for missing abuse and neglect.
BUt i have been heartened to hear organisations are pushing for change.
We can all do our bit. So i am not losing hope.
Keep up the good work.
i will share anything I can.


Registered User
Oct 15, 2023
Ps. CareRights Uk are another great charity that helps families having concerns around care homes.
Worth having a look.

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