1. Expert Q&A: Living well as a carer - Thurs 29 August, 3-4pm

    As a carer for a person living with dementia, the needs of the person you care for will often come before your own. You may experience a range of difficult emotions and you may not have the time to do all the things you need to do. Caring can have a big impact on both your mental and physical health, as well as your overall wellbeing.

    Angelo, our Knowledge Officer (Wellbeing) is our expert on this topic. He will be here to answer your questions on Thursday 29 August between 3-4pm.

    You can either post questions >here< or email them to us at talkingpoint@alzheimers.org.uk and we'll answer as many as we can on the day.

  1. Wozzie

    Wozzie Registered User

    Jul 12, 2016
    536
    Cheshire
    Mum has a lady who visits her 3 times a week, today she tells me mum was wearing a cardigan as a skirt as all her trousers were in the wash !
    When she found mum some trousers she didn't want to get changed saying she was fine as she was.
    I'm wondering how far we let "things" go until we have to take her out of her home.
    All these questions whizzing round my head :(
    Feel so out of my depth
    Thanks for reading x
     
  2. Wozzie

    Wozzie Registered User

    Jul 12, 2016
    536
    Cheshire
    Ha ha ha !
    Very easy to search !

    Mum manages to make food disappear too:rolleyes:
     
  3. sue38

    sue38 Registered User

    Mar 6, 2007
    10,856
    Wigan, Lancs
    One day my mum had managed to put a jumper on with her leg through one arm hole and her arm through the other! As a fashion statement it's yet to catch on.

    Although that in itself wasn't as worrying as some of other behaviours, it was a sign of her general deterioration.
     
  4. creativesarah

    creativesarah Registered User

    if I struggle to put my fleece, t-shirt etc I know its a bad day
    Most days I am fairly OK but occassionally like this week I needed a bit of help
     
  5. fizzie

    fizzie Registered User

    Jul 20, 2011
    2,740
    My ma used to wear all sorts of items in the wrong place and sometimes did her eyebrows with red felt pen too (that was a bu****r to get off - especially when you are trying not to laugh). The clothing thing never bothered me as long as she was comfortable and warm and not going out - it never even occurred to me that might be a make or break between home and care tbh. She stayed in her own home til the end but the last 6 months I used to go round last thing at night (which for her was about 8.30 or 9 and help her get ready for bed and give the settling paracetamol and then lay out her clothes in the right order for the next morning
     
  6. love.dad.but..

    love.dad.but.. Registered User

    Jan 16, 2014
    4,380
    Kent
    The clothes thing or strange combination is quite common, if she is coping for the time being with other aspects with carers coming in ie personal care, eating etc, not wandering and provided she is generally putting some sort of clothes on then she may be ok for a while still in her own home. Dad had a phase of wearing lots of layers of the same clothes ie 3 shirts 3 ties 2 trousers etc, looked like the Michelin man. Also favoured the wearing women's blouse and cardi look and his tie tied around his leg and or arm in Adam Ant 1980 fashion was a sight to behold! This continued when he went into care home over 2 years ago but rarely does it now and needs help dressing.
     
  7. Onlyme

    Onlyme Registered User

    Apr 5, 2010
    4,999
    UK
    Charity bags are the bane of dementia carers lives. MIL lost all her new clothes, she was thinking they weren't her clothes so put them out for charity.
     
  8. Tin

    Tin Registered User

    May 18, 2014
    4,829
    UK
    My mum often puts her pj top or nightie arms on her legs, actually only one leg, she favours the right one. When I think about it, it kind of makes sense!
     
  9. Munchies

    Munchies Registered User

    Oct 20, 2016
    7
    Dad insists on keeping his pjs on under his clothes in case he gets cold and two coats for the same reason
     
  10. Not so Rosy

    Not so Rosy Registered User

    Nov 30, 2013
    580
    When we had a hospital, social worker or doctors day I used to say to Dad can we have a smart day.

    Despite the carers laying out clean clothes for the next morning and me going round and checking at silly o'clock in the night that all was ready, smart day consisted of a suit jacket thrown over whatever clothes he had slept in for about a month before.

    Of course his smart finishing flourish was one of his best ties just dangled around his neck.

    I can sort of laugh about it now but wonder if I was trying too hard to cover up what was obviously going on.
     
  11. Wozzie

    Wozzie Registered User

    Jul 12, 2016
    536
    Cheshire
    Sue38
    In a way, that's quite a achievement for your mum - bless her, can't have been comfortable x

    creativeSarah, hope you have the help you so deserve, perhaps next week will be easier for you x

    fizzle, good to read your mum stayed in her own home, I really hope we can achieve this for mum.
    Have to ask, how on earth did you remove red felt pen x

    love.dad.but
    reassuring post from you, re mum staying at home, fingers crossed.
    Hope your dad is now settled x

    Onlyme
    Will watch out for charity bags, mum does like to wrap clothes, especially underwear, and leave the packages in some really unusual places !

    Tin
    Yes, using their preferred side does make sense x

    Munchies
    Mums wearing many layers, haven't noticed her nightie being left on ..... will keep an eye out, thanks x

    Not so rosy
    Noticed the time of your post, really hope you managed to get some sleep.
    I think the time has come for a bit of intervention where mums clothes are concerned
    Thanks for you reply x
     

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