Hello to you lovely people, thank-you for your concern, it's been an odd and difficult day. Dad has not really improved, he's certainly much worse than when he was at home. Mum went in yesterday because I look after my 2yr old nephew on Tuesdays, she said Dad was awake all the time but hardly ate, and wasn't happy to get anything done like a wash or changing him.
Today he was sound asleep in the bed when I arrived. As I looked at his face I realised how dreadfully gaunt he has become. He's barely eaten for 2 and a half weeks, apart from the supplement drink. I managed to wake him and said I had a cup of tea for him. I called for help to get him out of bed and into the chair. Three of us tried to get him to stand but he couldn't and said he wanted to lay down in bed again. The nurse said he could stay sitting there, at least it was sitting for a change. We propped him with pillows behind, and I supported his side, I kept offering him the tea but he wouldn't have any and fell asleep again. We eventually got him back into bed and he was straight off to sleep again.
Nurse came in and said the dr came yesterday at 5pm, after Mum left, annoying. They've decided they've completed his treatment and can't do any more. As far as I can see, they've done absolutely nothing anyway. He is now on oral antibiotics but took none last night or this morning. They said we can either take him home or put him into respite. The way he is now Mum could never look after him, at least 2 weeks ago he could walk and eat a little, what has happened? Is it hospital or a huge decline? She doesn't have enough care right now to look after him either. We have been churning it all over in our heads all afternoon, wondering whether he would improve if he came home, or put him through the upheaval of respite and see if he improves there, probably not. I think he's also pining for Mum but I just don't know, and he can't say.
If we take him home and there's no improvement it will be harder to get him into permanent care from there. If they do it from hospital it's faster and social worker said a really good place has a couple of nursing home beds available now. We haven't seen it, and there are many closer ones, it's about 20km away on the motorway and Mum could only visit if we took her since she doesn't drive.
I'm feeling conflicted and devastated. I feel that Dad is really pining for Mum and home and in an awful way I would rather we lost him than think of him in a care home, fearful and grieving, wanting Mum at night to be with him, as she has for 61 years. What do we do?
Stephanie, xxx