Oh Stephanie, like so many others on here, I do know exactly what you are going through. It is an awful time you are having at the moment, but it will get better.
When my dad was in hospital for nine weeks, we felt just the same. We were told how expensive the beds were in the hospital and they found us a 'step-down' place not far away. The problem was that we didn't want to keep moving dad. We knew he had to go into a home because my sister and myself couldn't look after him anymore, it was too difficult. But we felt so pressured into finding him somewhere. We thought that if we put dad into the step-down place, then he would have to move again later on and we didn't want that.
I was at the end of my tether a few times in those 9 weeks. I would go into a home that wasn't as bad as the last one I had seen, and sometimes I would think I was being too 'picky'. Perhaps it didn't smell as much as the last one, or the carers didn't seem quite so bad as the last one. Perhaps I shoud lower my expectations and put dad into that one. But then I would think, no, my dad deserves better than that. Luckily, I did find a really lovely place and dad is settled now.
You feel as if there is no light at the end of the tunnel sometimes. But you will get there Steph. Like others have said, it is true in my case that you can go then and sit with your dad and have real quality time with him. Even if it is only having a cup of tea and sharing a box of chocolates with him.
I do wish you all the best Steph and you are such a caring daughter, I am sure you will do the best for your dad (and mom). You will get there in the end, I truly didn't think I would, but I live to tell the tale!
Take care, Rosie xx
When my dad was in hospital for nine weeks, we felt just the same. We were told how expensive the beds were in the hospital and they found us a 'step-down' place not far away. The problem was that we didn't want to keep moving dad. We knew he had to go into a home because my sister and myself couldn't look after him anymore, it was too difficult. But we felt so pressured into finding him somewhere. We thought that if we put dad into the step-down place, then he would have to move again later on and we didn't want that.
I was at the end of my tether a few times in those 9 weeks. I would go into a home that wasn't as bad as the last one I had seen, and sometimes I would think I was being too 'picky'. Perhaps it didn't smell as much as the last one, or the carers didn't seem quite so bad as the last one. Perhaps I shoud lower my expectations and put dad into that one. But then I would think, no, my dad deserves better than that. Luckily, I did find a really lovely place and dad is settled now.
You feel as if there is no light at the end of the tunnel sometimes. But you will get there Steph. Like others have said, it is true in my case that you can go then and sit with your dad and have real quality time with him. Even if it is only having a cup of tea and sharing a box of chocolates with him.
I do wish you all the best Steph and you are such a caring daughter, I am sure you will do the best for your dad (and mom). You will get there in the end, I truly didn't think I would, but I live to tell the tale!
Take care, Rosie xx