Can't go to emergency care hospital with my wife

northumbrian_k

Registered User
Mar 2, 2017
1,468
0
Newcastle
My wife's care home rang to say that she is not very well, with a pain to her right side and also a possible UTI. A call to 111 confirmed that an ambulance should be requested. The paramedics would decide whether a trip to hospital is necessary and, if so, whether I could join her there. A second call from the care home just now confirms that she is being taken to the specialist emergency care hospital. Against what they wanted or what the 'rules' say, the paramedics have allowed a member of care staff to go with her. How otherwise they would deal with someone with advanced Alzheimer's Disease who can't speak for herself I do not know. As for me, I am not allowed to go to the hospital to meet my wife and relieve the staff member. All I can do is wait for another update.

I am not sure what happens if she has to be admitted or, in those circumstances, how decisions about her care will be made. The hospital website suggests that an exception to the 'no visitors' rule introduced in March and tightened a few weeks ago may be made "For long-stay patients and those with dementia or where best interest decisions or exceptional clinical/social matters are being discussed, at the discretion of the nurse in charge". As her Attorney for Health and Welfare I would normally hope to have some say in my wife's care and treatment but if I am not allowed to go to the hospital then the Lasting Power of Attorney is effectively redundant.
 
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Alex54

Registered User
Oct 15, 2018
337
0
Newtown, Wales
This situation is cruel beyond words, it seems all civil rights have just been swept under the carpet.
I feel for you and your wife.
 

MartinWL

Registered User
Jun 12, 2020
965
0
I can see how horrible this situation must be but don't give up. I would call the hospital and get the name of the consultant in charge of her case. Then send him by post a certified copy of the POA which will put him or her on unmistakable notice that he has a duty to consult you. As POA you don't have a right to insist on going to her bedside but you do have a right to be kept informed and to make decisions on behalf of the patient if she's unable to do so.
 

Izzy

Volunteer Moderator
Aug 31, 2003
65,168
0
70
Dundee
I’m so sorry to hear about your situation. I hope the hospital can relieve your wife’s pain as soon as possible and that you are able to see her.

Would it be possible to contact someone at PALS for some advice? I’ve no experience of them myself so not sure how that works. Here’s the link -


It says in that link that you can ask 111 for the contact number for your local PALS service.
 

Baker17

Registered User
Mar 9, 2016
1,151
0
My wife's care home rang to say that she is not very well, with a pain to her right side and also a possible UTI. A call to 111 confirmed that an ambulance should be requested. The paramedics would decide whether a trip to hospital is necessary and, if so, whether I could join her there. A second call from the care home just now confirms that she is being taken to the specialist emergency care hospital. Against what they wanted or what the 'rules' say, the paramedics have allowed a member of care staff to go with her. How otherwise they would deal with someone with advanced Alzheimer's Disease who can't speak for herself I do not know. As for me, I am not allowed to go to the hospital to meet my wife and relieve the staff member. All I can do is wait for another update.

I am not sure what happens if she has to be admitted or, in those circumstances, how decisions about her care will be made. The hospital website suggests that an exception to the 'no visitors' rule introduced in March and tightened a few weeks ago may be made "For long-stay patients and those with dementia or where best interest decisions or exceptional clinical/social matters are being discussed, at the discretion of the nurse in charge". As her Attorney for Health and Welfare I would normally hope to have some say in my wife's care and treatment but if I am not allowed to go to the hospital then the Lasting Power of Attorney is effectively redundant.
@northumbrian_k in May my husband’s home phoned to say that he was sipuspected to be having an angina attack and an ambulance had been called. I went straight to the home and asked if I could go with him. I was able to go and go into A&E with him, I was given a mask to wear. When they came to exam him he was very confused, more than normal, they said to me just take your mask off to help him calm down. There was no issue about me being there and they even put some music on for us and we had a dance in A&E then lovely food and drinks, they couldn’t have been nicer. He didn’t have to be admitted though but it was the best five hours I’ve had this year! It’s ironic that even though that happened in the hospital it was back to window visits at the home.
So it makes me angry that you have to be going through this, I hope that your wife recovers x
 

Sarasa

Volunteer Host
Apr 13, 2018
3,518
0
@northumbrian_k , I hope you get through to someone at the hospital to find out what is happening. Like @Baker17 I thought you would be allowed to be with her in hospital, at least in the A&E bit, but the last time I was there with mum it was before the whole Covid thing kicked off, so things were different. What ever happens I hope you get news soon, and the your wife is OK.
 

lollyc

Registered User
Sep 9, 2020
377
0
I realise there are regional differences, but, although I wasn't allowed to go to A&E with Mum last week (pelvic fracture), I am allowed to visit the ward for 1hr each weekday. No weekend visits. I have to book a slot - no more than 5 visitors on the ward - and wear gloves/mask/apron. The general phone message on the main switchboard says no visitors, but they are obviously being a bit flexible. It's probably best to check with the ward she finally ends up on - they may not be as restrictive as you think.
 

Shedrech

Volunteer Moderator
Dec 15, 2012
10,596
0
Yorkshire
hi @northumbrian_k
well, I have to admit that should my dad have been taken to hospital I would have gathered my face masks, handgel, copy of LPA, a flask of tea, some sandwiches and my mobile with charger, and gone to the A&E in the hope that me being there might make the staff realise that my presence would be an asset to the situation

along with the PALS, Admiral Nurses may be able to support you (eg our local one has offices in the hospital)
0800 888 6678
 

Just me

Registered User
Nov 17, 2013
502
0
My wife's care home rang to say that she is not very well, with a pain to her right side and also a possible UTI. A call to 111 confirmed that an ambulance should be requested. The paramedics would decide whether a trip to hospital is necessary and, if so, whether I could join her there. A second call from the care home just now confirms that she is being taken to the specialist emergency care hospital. Against what they wanted or what the 'rules' say, the paramedics have allowed a member of care staff to go with her. How otherwise they would deal with someone with advanced Alzheimer's Disease who can't speak for herself I do not know. As for me, I am not allowed to go to the hospital to meet my wife and relieve the staff member. All I can do is wait for another update.

I am not sure what happens if she has to be admitted or, in those circumstances, how decisions about her care will be made. The hospital website suggests that an exception to the 'no visitors' rule introduced in March and tightened a few weeks ago may be made "For long-stay patients and those with dementia or where best interest decisions or exceptional clinical/social matters are being discussed, at the discretion of the nurse in charge". As her Attorney for Health and Welfare I would normally hope to have some say in my wife's care and treatment but if I am not allowed to go to the hospital then the Lasting Power of Attorney is effectively redundant.
I’ve been through something similar today and 6 hours not knowing what was happening was horrendous.

I hope you get some information from the hospital soon and if she is admitted they show compassion and let you visit.
 

northumbrian_k

Registered User
Mar 2, 2017
1,468
0
Newcastle
Thanks all. I have spoken to the emergency department and it seems she is next to be seen. The lady I spoke to confirmed that carers are not supposed to stay. Given my wife's Alzheimer's Disease her carer has been able to stay. I am happy that she has someone familiar with her, especially as I know how caring that person is. There would not be any point in me just turning up. I was asked to ring back in 45 minutes or an hour and was told that I might be able to speak to the doctor. Visiting would be possible by appointment should she be admitted.
 

Just me

Registered User
Nov 17, 2013
502
0
Pleased you’ve had an update and someone she knows is with her.
Wishing your wife a speedy recovery.
 

northumbrian_k

Registered User
Mar 2, 2017
1,468
0
Newcastle
At 10:30 last night my wife was awaiting a scan and to be admitted overnight. There was no point in following up on this until this morning...

She was not admitted but instead returned to her care home at 2:30 am and is currently fast asleep. Nothing of note was found although a suggestion of appendicitis was made. This seems unlikely as, by her account, her appendix was removed in childhood. Follow up with her GP is indicated.

It is great that she is back in familiar surroundings with people who know and truly care for her. S, the carer who added another 8 hours to her shift to stay with my wife deserves my special thanks. I am grateful too to all on this forum for your support and helpful suggestions. Until the next crisis!
 

Just me

Registered User
Nov 17, 2013
502
0
That is good news. It makes such a difference knowing she had someone with her who she is familiar with.
Hope you get some rest today x
 

Sarasa

Volunteer Host
Apr 13, 2018
3,518
0
So glad she's back home, and what a wonderful carer to work an extra eight hours. I'm glad the home took her in so late too. I've heard of some homes that won't accept residents back after a certain time. Does this mean she'll have to be in quarantine for a week or two?
 

lemonbalm

Registered User
May 21, 2018
1,711
0
That sounds like a wonderful care home. Good to hear that your wife is in such good and kind hands.
 

northumbrian_k

Registered User
Mar 2, 2017
1,468
0
Newcastle
Today is the first time that I have had the chance to speak to S, the member of staff who accompanied and supported my wife on her prolonged visit to hospital in October. She has been working on the other floor and it is just by chance that she was downstairs this afternoon when I visited. It was good to get a few more details about how the time at hospital was spent. It was great to be able to thank her personally for the long time she looked after my wife at the emergency unit. Having started her normal shift at 7am it was well after 2 the next morning before she returned my wife to the home. "It's just part of the job" was her reply.