Can't cry

[katdan]

I lost Dad on 3rd October, I cried a little at first but I can't seem to have any emotions now. When my Mum passed I cried all the time and I am feeling really guilty that I am not doing the same. I loved my Dad so much so why I am I not showing it. Dad died suddenly although he was 90 it has been such a shock. His death had to go to the Coroner so his funeral is not until Friday. Can anyone tell why I feel like this, it is as if my brain won't let me think about it. I wish I felt differently!

Cath

 

[Mameeskye]

Hi Cath

I felt very differently when Mum died to when my Dad died. My Dad died first then 10+ years later and I didn't shed as many tears after she had gone..but then she had dementia and it had been a long slow process and maybe over time I had creid as much for her, but it was also a relief.

I don't think that it is possible to compare and eventhough your Dad was 90 if it was a sudden death and you were not expecting it it would not be at all strange to feel numb. It might last until the funeral or shortly thereafter and something will happen and you will find the tears will flow. If it was a surprise your body will currently e trying to protect you to enable you to deal with what must be done.

I didn't really cry a lot for Mum, but one thing hit me when I next went out to Tescos and picked up yoghurt for her, then realised I didn't have to. It was such a small insignificant thing but it broke the dam.

((((Hugs)))

It will happen when you are ready. grieving is a unique process I have discovered, every time.

Mameeskye

 

[gigi]

It will happen when you are ready. grieving is a unique process I have discovered, every time.

Wise words from Mameeskye...

I don't think I ever fully grieved for my dad...because there were practical things to deal with and I had a job to go back to..and my mum to see to..It's coming up to 5 years since he died...I'd love to run away somewhere and be alone and and come to terms with it all. And yes..weep.

Tears will come when they're ready.

You may find, Cath, that the funeral on Friday will bring on the tears...if it doesn't it's ok.

Please keep talking to us..it does help.

xx