• All threads and posts regarding Coronavirus COVID-19 can now be found in our new area specifically for Coronavirus COVID-19 discussion.

    You can directly access this area >here<.

Cancer surgery for my step dad

pebblemiff

Registered User
Jan 7, 2015
1
Hello there

My step dad was diagnosed with Alzheimer's 6 years ago and has recently been diagnosed with bowel cancer.
The doctors want to remove part of his bowel but my Mum is not sure whether it is in his best interest in terms of the effects of his quality of life after the op.
As I have joint power of attorney along with another family member, I may be called on to give my consent. However, I also have the same concerns and was wondering if anyone could offer any advice or share any similar experiences. My step dad is 84.
 

sistermillicent

Registered User
Jan 30, 2009
2,949
Sorry you are all facing this difficult decision. I would go 100% with what your mum decides, I imagine she will be helped by having good discussions with your father's doctors about the likely effects of the surgery and the impact of not having surgery. If you have power of attorney for health and welfare (I think it's called that) then you will very likely be called upon, but even then I would be inclined to support your mum's wishes unless there's a really good reason not to.
I hope all goes well whatever you decide and that your dad is comfortable
 

gringo

Registered User
Feb 1, 2012
1,189
UK.
Hello there

My step dad was diagnosed with Alzheimer's 6 years ago and has recently been diagnosed with bowel cancer.
The doctors want to remove part of his bowel but my Mum is not sure whether it is in his best interest in terms of the effects of his quality of life after the op.
As I have joint power of attorney along with another family member, I may be called on to give my consent. However, I also have the same concerns and was wondering if anyone could offer any advice or share any similar experiences.
My step dad is 84.
Hello pebblemiff,
If the surgery will involve leaving your Step Dad with a stoma, I would advise that you think long and hard. I can assure you that stomas and dementia present very real problems which have to be faced every day and will always be with you. However, you have to consider what the prognosis is if no surgery is attempted. You are between a rock and a very hard place.
My wife was in this position and I opted for surgery. Becoming reconciled to the problems I now have has been difficult, but, if I had it to do again I would not hesitate to make the same choice.