Hi Lizzie,
My OH has early onset Alzheimer's and is also 64. I have just returned from a holiday in Majorca. This was to a hotel we had been many times before. I decided to go and felt that I could cope.
But things happened that I have just seen no evidence of at home. He was unable to cope with the whole idea of getting his own food from a buffet. He just put his hands in and grabbed whole handfuls of food. He would not use serving spoons or tongs. He wanted to mix all sorts of strange combinations of food. One breakfast he wanted continental breakfast in a cereal bowl with milk; another doughnuts and baked beans! He just couldn't cope with it, so had to be supervised and supported at each stage in the dining room. I had no idea this would happen. Nothing at home gave me an inkling that this might be a problem.
He also showed a great deal of 'inappropriate' behaviour.' We were sat at the front of a bus and he leaned forward to grab a young woman's bottom with both hands. He also approached women, hands out in front of him, saying 'Whoa bosoms!'. He's never done anything like this before.
I was on pins and basically didn't know what he was going to do next!
Add to this the stress of the airport, security etc..........I don't think you are being selfish at all. It is a disease which can make our loved one very unpredictable, especially when taken away from their normal environment and routine.
We had a second week away booked for the Autumn; I've cancelled it!
There comes a time when you have to say 'enough is enough' and be sensible. Go with your gut feeling.
Best Wishes,
JJx