Can you do too much for the person you are caring for?

[jeany123]

I do not understand why so many professionals are so clueless about dementia. I am sure a well prepared two hour session could make them aware - as long as it was delivered by someone who really understands the PRACTICAL REALITIES and it did not consist of a lot of waffle-speak. Is it the case that any training they do attend is usually provided by someone who only thinks they know, who has been on some waffle-speak course themselves?

I agree, I honestly think that no amount of training from someone who has just read about it will do any good it would have to be from someone who had looked after someone with dementia for 24/7 and even then unless you have had experience it is difficult to understand,

 

[Debbie Reads]

This is what the Memory Team Nurse told me today, and I should take a step back.

Mum 73 with mild/moderate Alzheimers and Dad 76 with cognitive impairment.

If sorting out their medical appts, taking them to the doctors, sorting out their medications, making sure Mum is eating/drinking/going to the loo OK, writing reminders on their white board, taking Mum shopping, taking Mum & Dad out for lunch occasionally, and sorting out their latest crisis... flooded bathroom, broken TV, infestation of ants... what is too much?
what am I meant not to do??

She says I am to encourage independence, and for them to think for themselves.
Yes I agree... to a point.

Do I want Mum catching a bus or walking to our local shops crossing 2 busy roads when she has no traffic sense... No
Do I want Dad climbing up a ladder onto the roof in his slippers.. No

What to do... what not to do

Let them be as independent as you feel is safe. Independent can be in little things. I have keys to Mum's house but always ring the doorbell, so she can let me in. I expect her to unlock the door herself when I take her home, despite the coaching she then needs to get the key in the lock the right way round! If she offers to make me a cuppa, I say yes and keep an eye from a distance. You know your parents better than any external agency