Can my mother in law be evicted?

[sheepfield]

My mother in law lives in sheltered accommodation and today they have said that they don't think that it's suitable any more as she has been leaving her flat door unlocked with the keys on the outside.
I'm wondering if they have the power to evict her! In that way to make her seek alternative accomodation like a care home or an extra care flat.
I don't know how much success they'll have communicating this to her. Some time ago there was a leak in the flat downstairs from her and some investigation they did convinced her that the problem came from her toilet so she stopped flushing paper down. She was convinced that her behaviour was at fault and harming someone else and was really upset. When I visit part of my role is to hunt for the toilet paper!
She will be devastated if she thinks that she's going to lose her home and is a worrier anyway, getting frightened and worked up at the littlest of things all her life apparently.
Any suggestions would be most welcome.

 

[Jessbow]

Sheltered ac is rarely suitable for people with dementia as they progress. She maybe disturbing others, especially as she gets frightened. Sadly its not going to improve

 

[SAP]

Now would be a good time to have a talk with social services if they are not already involved. Yes the sheltered accommodation can evict residents who are no longer able to look after themselves.

 

[sheepfield]

Hello again!
I've discovered a new thing in my mother in law's situation.
I went into the kitchen today and saw an insect scuttling on the floor, then a different species scuttling on the worktop.
I wondered if she had been leaving food open or in funny places and checked her food cupboard. It is full of mouldy old teabags, empty packaging etc.
Thankfully my mother in law has consented to a home help and we might be able to get her to agree to a deep clean. Hopefully this will stop any infestation, which I guess would be another reason to evict someone.
I'm autistic and things like the potential for eviction really frighten me. And I've only seen two insects and a box of manky teabags!

 

[sheepfield]

I meant to reply earlier that the neighbours have called for doctors and ambulances on several occasions now. My mother in law often mentions popping to see people for cups of milk etc though she thinks that she does lots of things when the reality is otherwise.
I can see that the neighbours, who are also quite vulnerable, could get worried about her. I wonder if some have stopped answering the door to her, which is good boundaries. There is a warden and a 24 hour call out facility.
My grandmother apparently used to come round the corner to our house dozens of times a day when my mum was struggling with two tiny children. I don't wish that kind of thing for my mother in law's neighbours.
As an autistic person I'm not really sure how to approach them. Maybe going to a coffee morning at the scheme would be a good idea but I have different social skills that other people might not be so accepting of.

 

[Jessbow]

You really need to resolve the situation, not just try and sweet talk the neighbours.

Neighbours not answering the door IS good boundaries for them. It doesnt actually solve the problem of M in L knocking though.

You need to be looking for a nursing home for her.

 

[Lawson58]

I meant to reply earlier that the neighbours have called for doctors and ambulances on several occasions now. My mother in law often mentions popping to see people for cups of milk etc though she thinks that she does lots of things when the reality is otherwise.
I can see that the neighbours, who are also quite vulnerable, could get worried about her. I wonder if some have stopped answering the door to her, which is good boundaries. There is a warden and a 24 hour call out facility.
My grandmother apparently used to come round the corner to our house dozens of times a day when my mum was struggling with two tiny children. I don't wish that kind of thing for my mother in law's neighbours.
As an autistic person I'm not really sure how to approach them. Maybe going to a coffee morning at the scheme would be a good idea but I have different social skills that other people might not be so accepting of.

This is your mother in law so if you feel that you are going to have some communication issues with social workers or other professionals then it perhaps time for your husband to assist you. It can be a little easier if you can plan this together because MIL might be more inclined to listen.

But it sounds like she will more care than she can get living where she is.

 

[sheepfield]

My husband is also autistic! Neither of us has the capacity to sweet talk people sadly. My husband has been lucky to find a sympathetic employer but I have been sacked from many jobs for being 'too quiet' or whatever the fault was.
My husband has some holiday from work in two weeks time and won't be able to do anything till then. He's not grasping the seriousness of the situation and I have mentioned compassionate leave several times to deal with the situation but he hasn't asked at work.
My mother in law says that she doesn't want to go into a home yet but hopefully will listen to sense from professionals more than me. I've been open with professionals about my own vulnerabilities and found them to be accommodating so that's good.
You're quite right, I and hopefully my husband could look at care homes now in preparation for that time, which is approaching scarily fast.

 

[sheepfield]

I'm now feeling confused about the sheltered housing place.
Today I visited my mother in law and found her eating lunch in a room full of smoke, oblivious to the black fug all around.
I'm now wondering why there wasn't a smoke alarm sounding? Perhaps it had sounded but she hadn't heard it then it stopped sounding after a period of time. I'm starting to wonder what on earth is going on there and is she safe in such a place, let alone will they evict her for being unsafe.

 

[canary]

Would your mum have recognised what the fire alarm was and got out?
Has anyone been checking whether the battery was still working?
It doesnt sound safe there to me either.
Im thinking that it is actually very likely that she will soon be asked to leave

Id start looking at care homes so that you will be ready when the time comes

 

[Jessbow]

I'm now feeling confused about the sheltered housing place.
Today I visited my mother in law and found her eating lunch in a room full of smoke, oblivious to the black fug all around.
I'm now wondering why there wasn't a smoke alarm sounding? Perhaps it had sounded but she hadn't heard it then it stopped sounding after a period of time. I'm starting to wonder what on earth is going on there and is she safe in such a place, let alone will they evict her for being unsafe.

She really isnt safe, moreover she is putting the lives of thers at risk.
What caused the black smoke everywhere?
She really needs 24 hour supervision.
Please move her before something devastating happens

 

[SAP]

I’m with @Jessbow on this one, your mum needs constant supervision, please move her to a place of safety.

 

[Dunroamin]

@Jessbow is right. This lady needs to be moved. You have to make the decision before the rest of the occupants in the sheltered housing complex at put at even more risk. How would you feel if she causes a catastrophic fire (for example) and deaths occur.

You have a moral duty to expedite this

 

[jugglingmum]

If your mother in law is self funding then you can arrange for her to move to a care home, you don't necessarily need input from SS.

From what you've said she isn't really safe living on her own, and is also a danger to the other residents.

I'm a bit unsure from what you said as to who called the fire brigade, but it is likely that some alarm in her flat was linked to an automatic call out.

When my mum was in sheltered extra care there was a stay in place policy and the fire brigade evacuated the residents, due to the likely poor mobility etc causing more issues in the grand scheme of things. It might be someone had turned the fire alarm off centrally if the fire brigade arrived.

If she isn't self funding you need to persuade SS to pay for a care home and this is where the support of the sheltered accomodation and their request for her to leave come in useful.

I suspect she has breached her tenancy conditions and they can evict her, however they normally speak to relatives and advise accomodation not suitable and expect the relatives to facilitate this.

My mum was in sheltered extra care and they advised me they could no longer meet her needs so I moved her to a care home.

I understand you are struggling with all of this, and maybe you need an advocate to help you to navigate this process. If you MIL is self funding and your husband has POA he could use your MILs funds to pay for a private social worker to try to move this process forward, I used a private social worker to find a care home for mum as I was working, didn't have time and mum had plenty of money to pay for it.

Many of your MILs issues seem to be very common dementia behaviours and need to be considered together not as separate issues

 

[sheepfield]

I was under the impression that there would be hard wired smoke alarms throughout the building though there is a stay put policy too.
I didn't hear a fire alarm but I did pull the emergency cord and that was the first anyone knew about the smoke.
After this shocking turn, I've now 'resigned as carer' and let the professionals know as I'm feeling unwell with all the worry. Though of course I will help with whatever my mother in law decides and whatever happens with the accommodation.
Thank you so much for all replies.

 

[jugglingmum]

You're right there should be a hard wired fire alarm.

I'd assumed this had gone off.

There is a massive gap in provision of services and support for those with dementia. My mum was considered to have capacity in early stages by SS over 10 years ago when she clearly wasn't coping. I still can't process how we can leave our elderly in squalor which is because SS says bad choices are acceptable.

 

[sheepfield]

I don't know if it's possible that the alarm did sound, mother in law didn't hear it or understand and after a while it stopped sounding. Then I arrived to the shocking scene as she perhaps couldn't see the smoke either with her cataracts. But there was no alarm throughout the building sounding.
Investigating this is beyond me at the moment. I enquired about an advocacy service but they just said that demand was huge and to look through their massive brochure to see if that solves my issues. If I haven't replied within 14 days they assume that I don't want help. But with literally firefighting I haven't had the energy to look through the brochure!
The system is cruel.
I'm not sure that my mother in law has changed her clothes or had a wash since her fall six weeks ago and I can't process that this level of personal hygiene is also allowed to drag on without more encouragement or prompting or urgency or something. She doesn't want me to help with anything but seems much more receptive to being helped by professionals.

 

[Sarasa]

@sheepfold, who have you told you are resigning from having responsibility for your mother in law? I think doing so is a sensible idea as she obviously needs far more help than you or the sheltered accommodation can now give her. I think you need to flag this up to social services (again). The words to use are that she is a vulnerable adult at risk of harm. I'd also contact the warden of the sheltered accommodation and see what they can do to help facilitate a move.

 

[sheepfield]

Hello Sara, thank you for replying.
I've told the social worker, sensory worker, GP and accommodation manager that I'm 'resigning'. I guess that the social worker and sensory team worker are the important people to tell.
My mother in law was enthusiastic about employing a person to help with going out, shopping, laundry etc. So hopefully future GP, audiology, opthalmology appointments, telephone calls etc will be made when the befriender is present. And I can still see and help my mother in law just not quite as intensely.
I will recontact social services and emphasise that she is at risk of harm. The accommodation manager mentioned that they do have 'extra care' flats and other places that might be more suitable for my mother in law. I worked in an extra care home before as a cleaner, where there are individual flats but nurses onsite. But that's for mother in law to ponder with her befriender, not for me to research with her. My brain is frazzled.

 

[Jessbow]

Who is supplying the befriender?